What will happen if we don't pay DC's tuition bill this semester?

[Anonymous]

I get the feeling that OP’s “DD” is a step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling that OP’s “DD” is a step.

That would explain a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always amazed by adults who think throwing a hissy fit over something so life-changing is ever a good idea. Your DD is presumably 18. She may be a brat, but don't kid yourself into thinking you played no part in that. That somehow your parenting had no role in that.

Presumably, you have all sacrificed to get where you are today. Your child is enrolled in her college of choice that will improve her employment prospects. Communication is a two-way street. If you want to ruin her future over a hissy fit, then by all means do. But know full well what you're doing.

Also, college these days is an extension of high school and hardly this luxury that some of you seem to think it is. I am a firm believer in higher education and would never do this.

Let me guess: your kids are awesome due to your awesomeness.

DP— my kids are pretty good. Because DH and I are pretty good parents. It would be a huge stretch to say any of us are awesome.

Here’s what OP hasn’t answered. Has her kid always behaved this badly? If so, why is she just now starting to address it? And why is she addressing it by going nuclear on college tuition with no communication?

If this is new for her kid, why is she not at all worried about the sudden change in behavior? Her kid could be addicted to heroin or the victim or sexual assault or, you know, dead. And she’s worried about the punishment.

So which is it OP? Has your kid always been this ungrateful, or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling that OP’s “DD” is a step.

That would explain a lot.

Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. We have a winner folks. Did DCUM guess right OP? If so, it’s on your husband. And you know that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I advise undergrads at a state university. Students are unable to register for class if tuition is not paid and there is no arrangement with the financial aid or bursar's office.

Unable to register for the FOLLOWING semester, right? It’s called an enrollment hold for unpaid balance.

Yes, sorry did not make that clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling that OP’s “DD” is a step.

That would explain a lot.

That makes more sense. Hard to imagine a bio mom reacting that way for a kid being "rude and mean".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the feeling that OP’s “DD” is a step.

That would explain a lot.

That would make it cruel. Poor kid.

[Anonymous]

I’ve heard of students being evicted from their dorms for failure to pay. If that happens, I’d say there’s no chances of reconciliation - even after parents get old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always amazed by adults who think throwing a hissy fit over something so life-changing is ever a good idea. Your DD is presumably 18. She may be a brat, but don't kid yourself into thinking you played no part in that. That somehow your parenting had no role in that.

Presumably, you have all sacrificed to get where you are today. Your child is enrolled in her college of choice that will improve her employment prospects. Communication is a two-way street. If you want to ruin her future over a hissy fit, then by all means do. But know full well what you're doing.

Also, college these days is an extension of high school and hardly this luxury that some of you seem to think it is. I am a firm believer in higher education and would never do this.

Let me guess: your kids are awesome due to your awesomeness.

I'm the one you're responding to. My kids are awesome but very imperfect. They are human. They screw up and so do I. I am not naive enough to think that if my 18-year-old DD cut me off that it would be all on her. Like I said, communication is a two-way street. You keep digging your heels. See what it gets you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Step back a little. What led to this break-down in communication. Is this a little tiff, or is this the straw breaking the camel's back?

None of it matters. Having your parents pay for college is a luxury, not a right.

I think it varies on the school but eventually he will have to pay or get kicked out.

Basic respect and courtesy go a very long way. If parents are unhappy with paying tuition, the least they can do is warn their child. So, yes, it matters.

You write $10,000 checks for adults you don't talk even to?

Try $40K for privates that run $80K a year.

Very, very few people pay sticker price. Both my kids got 1/2 off tuition at private LACs. I believe my D said she knew of one classmate that paid full sticker price in her four years of undergrad.

You believe your daughter that people are honest about money when they talk about it?

And half off a private LAC still means a bigger check than $10k. I just wrote a check for more than that and my kid is in an OOS flagship with a substantial amount of merit aid.

We're full pay. Everyone that I know (with whom this matter has been discussed) is full pay. This is the donut hole dilemma of the MC and UMC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I advise undergrads at a state university. Students are unable to register for class if tuition is not paid and there is no arrangement with the financial aid or bursar's office.

I have three in school, and I can’t see how this is true. All three of mine had registered for their fall classes in the spring, and their tuition was due in August.

A few years ago, I had a 529 disbursement that was delayed, and the bursar’s office told me that the student would be dropped from classes about two weeks after the beginning of the term if payment had not been received or arrangements made.

OP - don’t you have access to the student’s account in order to view and pay the bills? Can’t you see his enrollment status there?

My kids' schools drop them from their classes if the bill isn't paid or payment arrangements made by Week 3 or Week 4.

[Anonymous]

Lots of extreme assumptions. Maybe the kid really is just an ungrateful jerk? Where is it a law you have to give every asshole kid a new car, phone, spending money and full boat college expenses — and keep it up if the kid’s behavior gets worse and worse? Do actions no longer have consequences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Step back a little. What led to this break-down in communication. Is this a little tiff, or is this the straw breaking the camel's back?

None of it matters. Having your parents pay for college is a luxury, not a right.

I think it varies on the school but eventually he will have to pay or get kicked out.

Basic respect and courtesy go a very long way. If parents are unhappy with paying tuition, the least they can do is warn their child. So, yes, it matters.

You write $10,000 checks for adults you don't talk even to?

Try $40K for privates that run $80K a year.

Very, very few people pay sticker price. Both my kids got 1/2 off tuition at private LACs. I believe my D said she knew of one classmate that paid full sticker price in her four years of undergrad.

You believe your daughter that people are honest about money when they talk about it?

And half off a private LAC still means a bigger check than $10k. I just wrote a check for more than that and my kid is in an OOS flagship with a substantial amount of merit aid.

We're full pay. Everyone that I know (with whom this matter has been discussed) is full pay. This is the donut hole dilemma of the MC and UMC.

The data is easily available. Just to use a school at random, Kenyon's website says 45% of the students receive some form of assistance. That's more than half the college students paying full freight. I imagine most LACs are like this.

[Anonymous]

Spoiled kids know when a parent is bluffing (read: always). They also know their parents won’t want to face the perceived social embarrassment of their child leaving college and all the side-eyeing that comes with that. The kid knows the college bills will be paid now or over winter break at the absolute latest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spoiled kids know when a parent is bluffing (read: always). They also know their parents won’t want to face the perceived social embarrassment of their child leaving college and all the side-eyeing that comes with that. The kid knows the college bills will be paid now or over winter break at the absolute latest.

If the OP is a stepparent she may not be bluffing but in that case I think it's important to be honest with the kid. Let her know that she is cut off and needs to make arrangements for financial aid, etc.. Just refusing to pay the bill is passive aggressive. Of course who knows what the deal is with the bio parents. Does the dad feel the same way? Is the bio mom out of the picture?