Why don’t women focus on making more money instead of bagging a rich guy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound really hostile and mean OP. Are you an angry man holed up in your basement with anger fantasies against women? I work hard and so does DH, but I don't care what other people do. Women are ill-advised to "bag a man" as you said because many men have affairs and leave their middle aged wives. Get over your anger and MYOB.

welcome back to our resident Femcel! Where've you been? (we really didn't miss you, though)

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with choosing a spouse that is able to provide the family with all the money you need so one person is able to take care of kids, house, and all other aspects to make family life smooth.

I am educated, had a great career I adored, "bagged a rich guy," and chose to stay home indefinitely once we had our children. My husband has a lucrative career and I enjoy being home and raising our children. It would make no sense for both of us to work. While we could afford to outsource all other aspects of our home life, I don't want that. I want to be the one there with my toddler all day, when my older kids get home from school, and the one that cleans and organizes our house. No one can take care of those things as well as I do- because it is my house and my children. If I chose to keep my career, and my husband stuck with the same one he has- our family life would be difficult.

[Anonymous]

So the answer is, I guess, (a) women have a lower earning capacity due to lack of equality in the workplace, fewer opportunities, etc, and (b) women know that men will not do as much domestic and childcare labor as they will. Therefore, they see marrying a rich guy as an insurance policy. Got it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the answer is, I guess, (a) women have a lower earning capacity due to lack of equality in the workplace, fewer opportunities, etc, and (b) women know that men will not do as much domestic and childcare labor as they will. Therefore, they see marrying a rich guy as an insurance policy. Got it!

Yes, because it’s not an either or proposition. You can marry a rich guy and also make more money yourself. Actually that is the more likely scenario because most people marry their peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the answer is, I guess, (a) women have a lower earning capacity due to lack of equality in the workplace, fewer opportunities, etc, and (b) women know that men will not do as much domestic and childcare labor as they will. Therefore, they see marrying a rich guy as an insurance policy. Got it!

Yes, because it’s not an either or proposition. You can marry a rich guy and also make more money yourself. Actually that is the more likely scenario because most people marry their peers.

DP.. yes, but they still want to marry someone with high income. I made the same as my DH but one of us had to cut back to take care of the kids because even with daycare and babysitters, it's still hard. Unless you have help 24/7 at home, one parent ends up being a primary caregiver, and that is usually the mom.

So, yes, I would advise all women to find a man who has good earning potential if you want kids because otherwise, you will struggle, a lot. I saw this with my sisters who worked and had were the primary care givers.

[Anonymous]

I married a guy who became a great provider. I found that I value time over money, after a certain threshold of economic security is met. I am lucky that I do not have money concerns.

[Anonymous]

Women (and men) want to marry similar or better. Taking out the outliers like great beauty, wealth, etc. most people end up with someone at the same level as themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend in HS whose main goal in life was to marry a doctor.....I was always like why don’t you become a doctor yourself?

Women are nurturers and would rather not work. That's science.

Ha. Sciience. Please report proof of this fact based science. Not just your personal experience. Women had no choice in the past but, nuture. Plenty of women today who do not have this "dna" to nuture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Due to assortive mating patterns, if a woman's goal is to marry a high earning guy, focusing on her own earning capacity may be the best strategy. Marriages are much more endogamous (economically speaking) these days. A male doctor or investment banker is much more likely to marry a female attorney, professor, etc. than someone who only has a high school diploma.

You are sort of right in that I married a fellow med school grad but she hasn't practiced in 11 years since the kids came. Most of our neighborhood is well-educated SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Due to assortive mating patterns, if a woman's goal is to marry a high earning guy, focusing on her own earning capacity may be the best strategy. Marriages are much more endogamous (economically speaking) these days. A male doctor or investment banker is much more likely to marry a female attorney, professor, etc. than someone who only has a high school diploma.

You are sort of right in that I married a fellow med school grad but she hasn't practiced in 11 years since the kids came. Most of our neighborhood is well-educated SAHMs.

Yup, people don’t want stupid kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well for one, women aren’t paid fairly. Marrying a high wage earner is probably a surer bet than becoming one yourself.

This has been completely debunked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married a guy who became a great provider. I found that I value time over money, after a certain threshold of economic security is met. I am lucky that I do not have money concerns.

Very contradictory post. So which one is it then?
Do you value time so after a certain annual income level or savings you both backed off on the office time and both do more reasonable jobs, for more family time? Don’t tell us he “backed off” in his 50s or 60s after all the tough stuff with the kids was done.

Or do you value money and economic security more, thus both of you keep working for the money and annual bonuses year after year. Ego too I might add. Some people are people pleasers in the work realm, way more than any efforts in the spouse, kids or family realm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with choosing a spouse that is able to provide the family with all the money you need so one person is able to take care of kids, house, and all other aspects to make family life smooth.

I am educated, had a great career I adored, "bagged a rich guy," and chose to stay home indefinitely once we had our children. My husband has a lucrative career and I enjoy being home and raising our children. It would make no sense for both of us to work. While we could afford to outsource all other aspects of our home life, I don't want that. I want to be the one there with my toddler all day, when my older kids get home from school, and the one that cleans and organizes our house. No one can take care of those things as well as I do- because it is my house and my children. If I chose to keep my career, and my husband stuck with the same one he has- our family life would be difficult.

It’s his house lol

[Anonymous]

You never know what life will throw at you so as a woman my goal has always been to be able to be totally self sufficient if necessary. And I am. I want my husband—I don’t NEED him (or his money).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You never know what life will throw at you so as a woman my goal has always been to be able to be totally self sufficient if necessary. And I am. I want my husband—I don’t NEED him (or his money).

Sometimes life makes it impossible for both spouses to work so a different goal must be set.