Why don’t women focus on making more money instead of bagging a rich guy?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know any women who married their men for money, but most of my friends met their spouses at grad school so they make comparable money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did. Now I make a lot of money and have a wonderful husband. Honestly it never occurred to me to try to find someone to "take care of" me. But I think people live the lives they see modeled, and my mom worked. If you saw your mom living a pampered life, never working, and spending all her mental energy on staying pretty I guess that's what you'd try to find.

I've heard that if you marry for money you pay for it every day of your life, and while I'm sure that's not always true I think there's some truth to it.

It’s anecdotal, but the women I know who were the most hellbent on not working had working mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did. Now I make a lot of money and have a wonderful husband. Honestly it never occurred to me to try to find someone to "take care of" me. But I think people live the lives they see modeled, and my mom worked. If you saw your mom living a pampered life, never working, and spending all her mental energy on staying pretty I guess that's what you'd try to find.

I've heard that if you marry for money you pay for it every day of your life, and while I'm sure that's not always true I think there's some truth to it.

It’s anecdotal, but the women I know who were the most hellbent on not working had working mothers.

Huh. Then I've got nothing.

I'm not obsessed with my job or anything (I'd quit tomorrow if I won the lottery), but I can't imagine being entirely dependent on one salary. It's not even the "dependent on a man" thing, it's the one salary thing. Layoffs, sickness, economic downturn -- I have anxiety around job loss and knowing we're hedged against it with the other person's job is very comforting to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well for one, women aren’t paid fairly. Marrying a high wage earner is probably a surer bet than becoming one yourself.

Again, if women want to have money - and ensure those coming after them are able to make more money - why not make yourself as valuable in the marketplace as possible?

Who says you don’t? But even if you do, you probably still won’t be paid your worth. Nothing wrong with trying to marry it instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did. Now I make a lot of money and have a wonderful husband. Honestly it never occurred to me to try to find someone to "take care of" me. But I think people live the lives they see modeled, and my mom worked. If you saw your mom living a pampered life, never working, and spending all her mental energy on staying pretty I guess that's what you'd try to find.

I've heard that if you marry for money you pay for it every day of your life, and while I'm sure that's not always true I think there's some truth to it.

It’s anecdotal, but the women I know who were the most hellbent on not working had working mothers.

Huh. Then I've got nothing.

I'm not obsessed with my job or anything (I'd quit tomorrow if I won the lottery), but I can't imagine being entirely dependent on one salary. It's not even the "dependent on a man" thing, it's the one salary thing. Layoffs, sickness, economic downturn -- I have anxiety around job loss and knowing we're hedged against it with the other person's job is very comforting to me.

That is me to a T. I can’t imagine taking that kind of risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There have been some threads recently about women angling to find a “rich” husband. Why not worry about becoming rich in one’s own right?

Dp. You can also choose to do both!

[Anonymous]

From a young age, we’re bombarded with movies and books about how the most beautiful girl gets the most desirable guy, who is handsome and rich and treats her like a princess and never so much as looks at another woman again. A lot of it is living that fantasy out and also the status that comes with it- if I land the rich guy, it means I’m the best woman.

It wasn’t until my 30s that I figured out it’s actually way easier to make my own money than to deal with men’s BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did. Now I make a lot of money and have a wonderful husband. Honestly it never occurred to me to try to find someone to "take care of" me. But I think people live the lives they see modeled, and my mom worked. If you saw your mom living a pampered life, never working, and spending all her mental energy on staying pretty I guess that's what you'd try to find.

I've heard that if you marry for money you pay for it every day of your life, and while I'm sure that's not always true I think there's some truth to it.

It’s anecdotal, but the women I know who were the most hellbent on not working had working mothers.

Huh. Then I've got nothing.

I'm not obsessed with my job or anything (I'd quit tomorrow if I won the lottery), but I can't imagine being entirely dependent on one salary. It's not even the "dependent on a man" thing, it's the one salary thing. Layoffs, sickness, economic downturn -- I have anxiety around job loss and knowing we're hedged against it with the other person's job is very comforting to me.

That is me to a T. I can’t imagine taking that kind of risk.

This is me as well, and it is the case for the vast majority of my friends, both men and women. Most are looking for an equal contributor financially, yes even the men. They're generally successful enough, but not super rich and they want spouses who also contribute financially to the household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you focus on being less misogynistic instead of acting like such a red-pill incel?

What is your problem? I’m a woman, concerned with my career, and think it’s disempowering to women for them to think that the only way to have a good life is to marry a wealthy man.

How do you have such a good life when you have to outsource childcare? Or perhaps you don’t have children. Or your spouse takes care of the children and home.

You clearly do not think you are worth very much.

I do think absentee parenting can have tragic consequences. Just look around.

[Anonymous]

I have never met a woman who was trying to land a rich guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did. Now I make a lot of money and have a wonderful husband. Honestly it never occurred to me to try to find someone to "take care of" me. But I think people live the lives they see modeled, and my mom worked. If you saw your mom living a pampered life, never working, and spending all her mental energy on staying pretty I guess that's what you'd try to find.

I've heard that if you marry for money you pay for it every day of your life, and while I'm sure that's not always true I think there's some truth to it.

It’s anecdotal, but the women I know who were the most hellbent on not working had working mothers.

Anecdotal indeed. Harvard researchers concluded the opposite. https://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/kids-benefit-from-having-a-working-mom

[Anonymous]

For a well-educated, fit, objectively attractive (to the level of, say, Laura Bush) woman, which is more of a long shot: making your own millions or marrying them? I guess that the life of being married to millions is a lot less grueling than earning them at a job, but that’s a separate issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did. Now I make a lot of money and have a wonderful husband. Honestly it never occurred to me to try to find someone to "take care of" me. But I think people live the lives they see modeled, and my mom worked. If you saw your mom living a pampered life, never working, and spending all her mental energy on staying pretty I guess that's what you'd try to find.

I've heard that if you marry for money you pay for it every day of your life, and while I'm sure that's not always true I think there's some truth to it.

It’s anecdotal, but the women I know who were the most hellbent on not working had working mothers.

Same here. And the men I know who had working mons wanted a SAHW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because, sadly, most women are lazy and entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did. Now I make a lot of money and have a wonderful husband. Honestly it never occurred to me to try to find someone to "take care of" me. But I think people live the lives they see modeled, and my mom worked. If you saw your mom living a pampered life, never working, and spending all her mental energy on staying pretty I guess that's what you'd try to find.

I've heard that if you marry for money you pay for it every day of your life, and while I'm sure that's not always true I think there's some truth to it.

It’s anecdotal, but the women I know who were the most hellbent on not working had working mothers.

Funny, it's anecdotal, but the women I know who were the most hellbent on working had moms who were stay at home moms.