Polite and respectful way to ask the parents hosting a play date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a gun in our house (locked away in a hidden safe). We will not be telling you about it even if you ask. It’s none of your business.

Same here. I bet most of our friends would be surprised we have a (very securely stored) gun as we don’t fit the stereotype. We drive old volvos, listen to NPR, make our own kombucha, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We asked this of our potential future nanny share partners (DD was going to their house at least 50% of the time) and decided that we wouldn't say yes to anyone who had firearms full stop. I totally get that, especially in DC, some people need them for their jobs... but I just don't trust that other people are going to correctly store them 100% of the time and my kid is going to be alone in their house w/ a nanny who likely doesn't have any firearms training and who they may not even have told about the weapons. No thanks. Ironically, when we settled on a family, they said they did have guns... the H's old skeet shooting rifles; luckily, the W had been getting on him to get rid of them before their kid got older (kids were pre-crawling at the time), so they shipped them off to his parents' house.

Anyway, for drop off playdates I'm OK w/ secured well b/c it's for a short period and I assume the parents who are watching them are familiar w/ weapon safety/where the weapons are and are probably on hyper alert because I asked. I always ask though.

That's what they told you...

[Anonymous]

"I ask this of all families before playdates, if you have any firearms, where are they stored?"

If someone new comes to my house for a playdate, I say "Just so you know, we do not have any firerams in our home"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Hi, just wondering if you have firearms at home and if so, do you keep them locked up and secure?”

As a gun owner, I’d have no problem explaining how I lock my firearm, but we don’t host play dates (when you ask “why doesn’t XX reciprocate”, this is why)

We are a military family and we have weapons, secured safely. Honestly I am both surprised and kind of appalled if someone doesn't ask me this question. We expect it and are never offended.

I'm pro gun control but I don't ask about guns in the house because a) I know some people will lie about it for various reasons; and b) there are lots of safety hazards in a house, so why ask about that one specifically. I'm hopeful that you're a good parent who is properly supervising, I've told my kids about the dangers, and accidental death from gun tragedies make news because they are so rare. There is no reason for you to be appalled because I don't ask about it.

+1 This. We have educated our kids about dangerous items and what to do if they encounter such items. This is not limited to guns. For instance, are you going to ask the parents if they have opoids and other drugs in their house and whether it is secured in a place inaccessible to the kids? We have talked to our kids about medicine/drugs too. While we *think* we know the parents of all the kids our children play with, you just never know what goes on in someone else's house. Your kids need to know how to handle these things on their own unfortunately.

Because a gun can accidentally fire......

[Anonymous]

Shesh, and pills can be accidentally swallowed...point is, responsible parents aren't willy nilly of potential dangers- figure that part out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I ask this of all families before playdates, if you have any firearms, where are they stored?"

If someone new comes to my house for a playdate, I say "Just so you know, we do not have any firerams in our home"

This is polite enough. And then I would respond “Oh, we don’t have any firearms!” (Which is not true)