Is daughter getting ripped off by friends—paying rent all summer not living in rental?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why and how did your daughter sign a lease without you co-signing or at least knowing about? When my DD moved off campus all of the parents of her roommates had to co-sign since she none of them had jobs that would cover the rent.

And I cannot imagine not having a discussion with my kid about where they will be living, even if I expected them to handle everything other own. My DD did the apartment search with her friends and did all of the legwork with it, but I knew it was happening.

In passing, back in May, she said she was APPLYING for a lease. She ended up applying and signing back-to-back before we knew of or heard any lease details. When she mentioned applying it was in May right after semester ended. Never in a million years would I have suspected or supported signing a lease that began a week later, when she’s home all summer + wanted to study abroad in January.

[Anonymous]

Your DD is not a child. Why she signed a lease and made this $3k comittment is on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why and how did your daughter sign a lease without you co-signing or at least knowing about? When my DD moved off campus all of the parents of her roommates had to co-sign since she none of them had jobs that would cover the rent.

And I cannot imagine not having a discussion with my kid about where they will be living, even if I expected them to handle everything other own. My DD did the apartment search with her friends and did all of the legwork with it, but I knew it was happening.

In passing, back in May, she said she was APPLYING for a lease. She ended up applying and signing back-to-back before we knew of or heard any lease details. When she mentioned applying it was in May right after semester ended. Never in a million years would I have suspected or supported signing a lease that began a week later, when she’s home all summer + wanted to study abroad in January.

Applying for a lease is done when you are going to move forward with a lease. No one applies for a lease without the intention of renting. That is when you should have asked for more details. I truly cannot imagine not having a full conversation with my kid about these types of important details. And because I have spent time in making sure my kids understand these things through the years my kids would never dream of signing a contract without talking to us first. My kids are very independent and handle a lot of things on their own (we are far from helicopter parents), but through the years they understand that they are still learning the ways of life and ask our advice.

And because of this your anger is severely misplaced. It should be directed toward your DD and not her roommates. You're really off base with the accusation that she is somehow being cheated or taken advantage of by the roommates or the landlord. Your DD is the one who went ahead and signed a contract and actively chose not to find a sublet. You should have asked more questions when she told you about the application and she should have talked to you about the plans. She also should have gotten a sublet. This is a live and learn situation where you guys only have yourselves to blame!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why and how did your daughter sign a lease without you co-signing or at least knowing about? When my DD moved off campus all of the parents of her roommates had to co-sign since she none of them had jobs that would cover the rent.

And I cannot imagine not having a discussion with my kid about where they will be living, even if I expected them to handle everything other own. My DD did the apartment search with her friends and did all of the legwork with it, but I knew it was happening.

In passing, back in May, she said she was APPLYING for a lease. She ended up applying and signing back-to-back before we knew of or heard any lease details. When she mentioned applying it was in May right after semester ended. Never in a million years would I have suspected or supported signing a lease that began a week later, when she’s home all summer + wanted to study abroad in January.

Applying for a lease is done when you are going to move forward with a lease. No one applies for a lease without the intention of renting. That is when you should have asked for more details. I truly cannot imagine not having a full conversation with my kid about these types of important details. And because I have spent time in making sure my kids understand these things through the years my kids would never dream of signing a contract without talking to us first. My kids are very independent and handle a lot of things on their own (we are far from helicopter parents), but through the years they understand that they are still learning the ways of life and ask our advice.

And because of this your anger is severely misplaced. It should be directed toward your DD and not her roommates. You're really off base with the accusation that she is somehow being cheated or taken advantage of by the roommates or the landlord. Your DD is the one who went ahead and signed a contract and actively chose not to find a sublet. You should have asked more questions when she told you about the application and she should have talked to you about the plans. She also should have gotten a sublet. This is a live and learn situation where you guys only have yourselves to blame!

Amen.

[Anonymous]

If you only wanted her to pay for the time she was actually in residence, you should have told her to live on campus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why and how did your daughter sign a lease without you co-signing or at least knowing about? When my DD moved off campus all of the parents of her roommates had to co-sign since she none of them had jobs that would cover the rent.

And I cannot imagine not having a discussion with my kid about where they will be living, even if I expected them to handle everything other own. My DD did the apartment search with her friends and did all of the legwork with it, but I knew it was happening.

In passing, back in May, she said she was APPLYING for a lease. She ended up applying and signing back-to-back before we knew of or heard any lease details. When she mentioned applying it was in May right after semester ended. Never in a million years would I have suspected or supported signing a lease that began a week later, when she’s home all summer + wanted to study abroad in January.

OP, it is really 6 of one and half dozen of another when the 12-month lease starts. If she signed up to start in August, like my daughter did, then she either has to stay for the next summer or find a sub for the summer when she leaves to come back home in May. With your daughter studying abroad all next spring, she probably would not have any more time than she did this year to find a sub. In our case, our daughter found a sub who was in town for the summer for an internship for about 3/4 of what her portion of the rent was. I would have been perfectly happy if she had found someone for even 50%, since obviously that is still way better than paying 100%. If she had not found anyone, I would have had to suck it up and pay.

Can your daughter get back to the college apartment a couple of times over the summer to setup her room and spend some time there? Can she head back a little sooner than she had previously planned. At least she will get some use out of her portion of the place she is paying for. As far as the spring semester, there are many midyear transfers and admits. Maybe she can sub out her spring portion of the lease if she starts looking and posting early. As I mentioned, heavily discounting the rent makes it more likely she will find someone and at least she's not footing the entire rent while she's not there.

[Anonymous]

Sub renting is a pain in the ass. Easy way to get scammed.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter is only going to be there for the fall semester and signed a 12-month lease?? Why in the world did she do that? She should have only sublet a place for just the fall semester or lived on campus. She really screwed up and I can't believe you all didn't talk about this before she made such a huge financial commitment. This has NOTHING to do with the roommates - this is all on your daughter for not thinking or planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is only going to be there for the fall semester and signed a 12-month lease?? Why in the world did she do that? She should have only sublet a place for just the fall semester or lived on campus. She really screwed up and I can't believe you all didn't talk about this before she made such a huge financial commitment. This has NOTHING to do with the roommates - this is all on your daughter for not thinking or planning.

+1 and it says something about you and your family - and the way you’ve raised your daughter - that your fist assumption would be that your daughter is getting ripped off.

Boy, you have one effed up child there. I suspect you’ll be reaping on the consequences of your lousy parenting for years to come.

[Anonymous]

OP - It sounds to me that she really wanted to reserve her place among her friends and that outweighed her financial considerations. It is understandable how her emotions could have come down heavily in favor of that. You've gotten a lot of feedback about how she could sublet, etc... The other side of that coin is that it can lead to room mate contention which means a good group can break down. We've paid multiple years now where the apartment is not 100% used but it has really worked out. It's a harmonious living situation, there's no move in or out, no theft from strangers, no worries about where to live for internships in the area or going to and from. That is DC's home until graduation. It is not the most financial prudent way for sure but for DC and us it's worth it in terms of less headaches. BTW - For DC's college, dorm living is actually more expensive and definitely more inconvenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought college rentals began in the fall, and kids sublease the final summer months (May June and July) to someone. Seems the roommates who were long planning to stay in the city got all the advantage, including cheaper rent this summer and an empty room not filled with a random sublessee. If daughter didn't sign until May, obviously nobody else was going to live in that place this summer, so why couldn't she just wait to sign until August? Seems daughter was peer pressured to sign before going home to alleviate burden of roommates divvying up 3 months of her rent. Daughter essentially subsidizes kids who were staying in the city this summer. That's how it seems.

Well, this one starts in May. If daughter didn't want to sign up then, the roommates would have found a smaller place, and daughter would have had to find new roommates.

This is how the real world works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, by that logic I shouldn’t be responsible for my mortgage while I’m on vacation. Come on, OP.

Seems more like closing on a new house and paying on the new mortgage 3 months before you can move in.

Um, yeah, isn't that how it works?

Yeah, OP, who precisely do you think *should* pay the mortgage after you close on a house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s also going abroad in January. Now her cash for the fall from summer job is going to be nearly $0 instead of $3000+. This was the dumbest decision I’ve ever seen her make. I think she was pressured and guilt tripped by self-serving friends who urgently needed one last person to join and she really didn’t get what she was doing. She’s never signed a lease before, she’s a naive teen. She had no business entering a lease that began in June. And she shouldn’t get into a lease when she’s going abroad. She could have subbed from someone this fall for one semester. Now she’s paying for 3-4. Dumb!

I don’t know why you keep shifting the blame to her friends. (Presumably they, too, are naive teens.) If you’re so concerned, why didn’t you talk to her about her housing plans before?

Seems rather obvious, to me, if you’re only on campus from Sept-Dec because you’re back home this summer and studying abroad in Jan. you live in a dorm or sub for a single semester. Why in the “F” would you sign a 12 month lease?!

OP, if there ever were a situation where Hanlon's Razor applied, this is it. Hanlon's razor states, "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity."

So, don't blame malicious intent on the part of the roommates for this situation, because it is easily explained by your daughter's (inherited, apparently) stupidity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man, by that logic I shouldn’t be responsible for my mortgage while I’m on vacation. Come on, OP.

Seems more like closing on a new house and paying on the new mortgage 3 months before you can move in.

Oh, she CAN move in. She’s choosing not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s also going abroad in January. Now her cash for the fall from summer job is going to be nearly $0 instead of $3000+. This was the dumbest decision I’ve ever seen her make. I think she was pressured and guilt tripped by self-serving friends who urgently needed one last person to join and she really didn’t get what she was doing. She’s never signed a lease before, she’s a naive teen. She had no business entering a lease that began in June. And she shouldn’t get into a lease when she’s going abroad. She could have subbed from someone this fall for one semester. Now she’s paying for 3-4. Dumb!

I don’t know why you keep shifting the blame to her friends. (Presumably they, too, are naive teens.) If you’re so concerned, why didn’t you talk to her about her housing plans before?

Seems rather obvious, to me, if you’re only on campus from Sept-Dec because you’re back home this summer and studying abroad in Jan. you live in a dorm or sub for a single semester. Why in the “F” would you sign a 12 month lease?!

OP, if there ever were a situation where Hanlon's Razor applied, this is it. Hanlon's razor states, "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity."

So, don't blame malicious intent on the part of the roommates for this situation, because it is easily explained by your daughter's (inherited, apparently) stupidity.

+1

Signing a 12 month lease when you will be living in it for a third of that time is unbelievably stupid. She should have found a room on campus or sublet from someone for the fall semester. Why didn’t you discuss this with her?