Selling Hand Me downs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I gifted a friend of my tubs and tubs of little girl clothing from new born to 2 T.
We are done having kids and my 2nd is a boy so i had no need for the clothing.
Well, she is finished having kids now too and her youngest girl is turning 3 this summer.
I see on Facebook she is selling her daughter's clothing (the stuff i gave her) and almost all has sold. All were in great condition when i gave it to her and they still look to be in good condition. She is set to make a few hundred bucks total between the clothing and the supplies (swing, changing pad, etc) that i gave her.

When i gave it to her i didn't say i wanted it back, but we never really talked about it. I don't really want the stuff back, but isn't it tacky to sell everything I GAVE her without even asking if i want it back or what to do with it?

Just curious.

Yes it is very tacky. She should have asked you if you wanted them back. Even if she assumed or knew you were done having kids, she should have donated the clothing to charity, not made money off the help and generosity from your donation to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Next time you give someone clothes, ask that they pass them on or give them back to you.

What’s the difference between selling and passing them on? Either way someone is getting to wear the clothes again. I’m poorer and always buy used clothes off Facebook. I’m glad people sell on there.

Because the people that are buying the $$$ name brand stuff on Facebook are not the same people needing to get clothes for free from a clothing bank or domestic violence shelter. Maybe it would put a smile on a child or mother’s face to get something nicer than the worst or the worst clothing that is usually sent in for donation

[Anonymous]

I think it's tacky as well. Unless you gave her a brand new clothes as a gift, then I think it's fine for her to sell it for cheap. But I think when you received hand me downs it's important to stick with the spirit of giving.

[Anonymous]

You: gave her things,, did not ask for anything, did not put any conditions. Done. It is hers now and free to do as she pleases. Besides you don't need them now, you don't want them now. Case closed.

She: is free to do what she wants but it does not feel right to benefit beyond the use and she should pass the generous gift of yours to the next person in need for free. Case closed.

You again - do not dwell on it. You learned your lesson, next time either give and let go or give and make conditions. It is not healthy to be angry like that for no apparent reason. She did not still anything from you and you can consider it miscommunication on your side as you did not consider this outcome but if you had.. so , this is a lesson, schooling is expensive. Don't pay with your health.

[Anonymous]

I am still in the camp that you shouldn't sell hand me down clothing unless the person you gave them to tells you to.
The fact that it seems these were name brand clothes and not Walmart special, tells me they were still in good enough shape to be handed down. That and the fact that this lady selling them is making over $100 tells me these aren't Gerber onsies.

It is tacky as all get out to sell something like a hand me down. An actual gift? Yeah, do what you want i guess, but something given out of generosity and the amount given warrants a bit more tact here.

[Anonymous]

I did a curb alert for kids out door toys last year. Lots of things my kids had out grown. I saw my neighbor take a good portion on them. I was happy her kids could enjoy them. Then I saw that she was selling them at a yard sale a few weeks later. Obviously I did not want to take the effort to sell them myself so that was my choice...but it did bug me. Next time I will just donate to charity.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s in poor taste to sell something someone handed down. She should get some good karma and donate it, but maybe she really needs the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would also say that the kind of person that accepts and uses tubs of hand me downs and ALSO puts the effort into cleaning, taking pictures and selling the clothes likely is doing so because their family will meaningfully benefit from that work and I would not begrudge that at all.

I'm lucky enough to make enough money that the LOE to sell all those clothes is not worth the return on the investment. For her it is, I'd be happy the clothes are helping her family in two ways.

This x 82034890234

[Anonymous]

I don't think you should but once you give it away it's no longer yours, just like any other gift and any attachment is gone.

[Anonymous]

Well, it’s clear who the takers are here.

[Anonymous]

It's kind of tacky, yes. But I don't understand the outrage of some posters. It's hers. She's doing the work of photographing, meeting up, shipping, whatever. You didn't want to do that work. So you gave it away, but now you feel like you somehow got taken advantageous of? I don't get it.

If you were giving them out of the kindness of your heart, then why do you care what happens next? If you actually wanted to sell them but you felt like you had to give them away, and now you're annoyed that someone else is profiting, well, too bad.

I just don't really understand being upset one way or the other.

[Anonymous]

Wrong - no.
Tacky - yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this different than someone giving you a new bassinet at your baby shower and then you sell it on facebook? Both were gifts

It’s not. Both are cheap and tacky practices.

I'm a DP and totally disagree on that. I tend to give stuff away because I don't have the patience/time/discipline to sell 1000 baby things on facebook but I think its VERY common to sell baby gear when you're done having babies. Including some of the 'big stuff' that you were gifted at your baby shower.

I'm sure as heck going to sell my uppababy vista my mom gave me at my shower when we're done with it. Or at least bring it to Lots for Tots or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, if you wanted it back you should have told her.

This. I gave my old crib to a friend of mine when I was done having kids. I told her to keep it and she used it for 3 kids. I am sure she probably sold it and good for her. It was a gift so she can do whatever she wants with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, it’s clear who the takers are here.

It's also clear who the 'gifts aren't really gifts'-ers are on here. And I'm not someone who would do what OP's friend did. But you never know someone else's situation. The only mom I know who deals with the enormous PITA that is selling individual children's clothes on facebook is strapped for cash and pretty unhappy.