4th grade boys “ranking” girls

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me mad. When things like this start happening is when it's time to start having the conversation with these young and still malleable kids that this sort of behavior is not acceptable. It's not how we want our world to work. It leads easily to other sorts of inappropriate behavior. Of course this happened when we were all young, and look at the gender issues we are having as adults. This generation needs to change how they think about each other.

I hope you had a talk with the teacher and the guidance counselor and that the school is addressing this as a teaching opportunity and that families at home will as well. Whether it's girls or boys generating this sort of discussion, it needs to be addressed as NOT the way humans should be interacting with each other. Right from the start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - a top private school not in DC area.

Diverse school or more White?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Great. I'll make a deal with you: I'll teach my boys that things like this are inappropriate to discuss publicly because they hurt people's feelings and that girls - like all human beings -- should ALWAYS be treated with respect. And you teach your girls to toughen up and grow a thicker skin.

Nope. Girls, like other people, should be treated with respect when they earn and deserve respect, which is not "ALWAYS" true.

Well, I disagree with you on that. ALL PEOPLE should be treated with respect. Their actions can be judged - and yes, I'm teaching my kids to be very discerning about how to judge - but the basics of respecting the person as a fellow human being remains.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me mad. When things like this start happening is when it's time to start having the conversation with these young and still malleable kids that this sort of behavior is not acceptable. It's not how we want our world to work. It leads easily to other sorts of inappropriate behavior. Of course this happened when we were all young, and look at the gender issues we are having as adults. This generation needs to change how they think about each other.

I hope you had a talk with the teacher and the guidance counselor and that the school is addressing this as a teaching opportunity and that families at home will as well. Whether it's girls or boys generating this sort of discussion, it needs to be addressed as NOT the way humans should be interacting with each other. Right from the start.

PP, I mean, I still deal with this at work as a 41 year old women. I've been at bars with male colleagues ranking women in our office. It's bullshit. Maybe if someone had taught them in 4th grade that it wasn't acceptable I wouldn't still be dealing with this as an adult.

And I am a "boymom" of 2 elementary school age boys. THey will know consistently that I expect them to treat women as equals, not as things to be ranked. I hope it makes an impact.

[Anonymous]

This is mainly something I have seen in my White acquaintances. Parents put these ideas into the minds of their children right from when they are little. Things like who "likes" whom, who will be a "heartbreaker" when they grow up, what kinds of gf/bf they should look out for etc.

Let them be kids and concentrate on studies and EC activities. Teach them to be kind to people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me mad. When things like this start happening is when it's time to start having the conversation with these young and still malleable kids that this sort of behavior is not acceptable. It's not how we want our world to work. It leads easily to other sorts of inappropriate behavior. Of course this happened when we were all young, and look at the gender issues we are having as adults. This generation needs to change how they think about each other.

I hope you had a talk with the teacher and the guidance counselor and that the school is addressing this as a teaching opportunity and that families at home will as well. Whether it's girls or boys generating this sort of discussion, it needs to be addressed as NOT the way humans should be interacting with each other. Right from the start.

+1

I would be in the principal's office on this one. It's not acceptable and that message should be reinforced from the top all the way down, so that kids get it. No wink-wink/look away for this kind of nonsense.

Also, I'm sorry but it's not the same for girls to rank boys. Sure, discourage that too, but it's not the same. Also, there's no white history month.

[Anonymous]

This is a very diverse school and the boys doing it were of several different ethnicities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Great. I'll make a deal with you: I'll teach my boys that things like this are inappropriate to discuss publicly because they hurt people's feelings and that girls - like all human beings -- should ALWAYS be treated with respect. And you teach your girls to toughen up and grow a thicker skin.

Nope. Girls, like other people, should be treated with respect when they earn and deserve respect, which is not "ALWAYS" true.

Well, I disagree with you on that. ALL PEOPLE should be treated with respect. Their actions can be judged - and yes, I'm teaching my kids to be very discerning about how to judge - but the basics of respecting the person as a fellow human being remains.

No. Some people do not deserve respect. In the extreme case, there are murderers, rapists, and child molesters. These "fellow human beings" do not deserve to be "treated with respect" at all. If you do something that forfeits my respect -- if you lie to me, steal from me, or betray me -- then you do not deserve my respect and I will not treat you with respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I would be in the principal's office on this one. It's not acceptable and that message should be reinforced from the top all the way down, so that kids get it. No wink-wink/look away for this kind of nonsense.

Also, I'm sorry but it's not the same for girls to rank boys. Sure, discourage that too, but it's not the same. Also, there's no white history month.

Another garbage woman is womansplaining that it's different when girls do it. Eff off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me mad. When things like this start happening is when it's time to start having the conversation with these young and still malleable kids that this sort of behavior is not acceptable. It's not how we want our world to work. It leads easily to other sorts of inappropriate behavior. Of course this happened when we were all young, and look at the gender issues we are having as adults. This generation needs to change how they think about each other.

I hope you had a talk with the teacher and the guidance counselor and that the school is addressing this as a teaching opportunity and that families at home will as well. Whether it's girls or boys generating this sort of discussion, it needs to be addressed as NOT the way humans should be interacting with each other. Right from the start.

PP, I mean, I still deal with this at work as a 41 year old women. I've been at bars with male colleagues ranking women in our office. It's bullshit. Maybe if someone had taught them in 4th grade that it wasn't acceptable I wouldn't still be dealing with this as an adult.

And I am a "boymom" of 2 elementary school age boys. THey will know consistently that I expect them to treat women as equals, not as things to be ranked. I hope it makes an impact.

Oh please so in your mind this is just a male thing? I know mothers like you totally consumed by gender identity/politics. All worried about some girl/woman you have never met vs your own children. Your boys will just get used and abused by some girl/woman looking for a push over. You know the type I am talking about. There are no mother telling their girls to respect and treat as an equal any male.