whats the benefit of kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are a giant financial sink hole with no upside.
I've had three and all are teenagers now. They are total jerks and act like they know it all. The oldest is heading to college next year so even when they turn 18 they are not off the books.
Without kids my net worth would be a lot more.

I love them but they are not useful to me. I was researching state law recently and ran across a few sections that discussed a parent legal right to all earned income of their children. It got me thinking that once children worked and contributed to the household. Any more they just suck up resources and provide absolutely no benefit to anyone.

My wife says they are going to help us when we are old. I calculated it up and if I had invested all the money spent on kids there would be more than enough to pay for high quality elder care. I think that might have worked out better than expecting children not to move away and show up once a week to see if we fell down a broke a hip.

Mow you know how ypur parents felt abput you. Sucks doesnt it? You should have stopped at one.

It's unfair to compare OP's experience with his kids. Remember, when OP was a kid, he probably didn't cost his parents beyond the food they fed him and boys were happy with a bicycle and didn't need all the Fortnite, Xbox BS that they have today. I can understand where OP is coming from because it's the truth. Children are a time and money suck and the only reason people can still choose to have them and not go crazy and bankrupt is to justify to themselves how much they love their kids, and how their kids will continue the bloodline. The concept of parental love is actually a 20th century ideal as parents never used to have kids deliberately but rather just had unprotected sex. That's how families ended up with 5,6,7,8 children. But those were also the days when children typically worked to support the family and younger siblings and occupied an adult's role through work and weren't economically useless like they are today. With the advent of birth control and women's autonomy over their reproductive decisions, people can choose to not have ANY children. Saves money and heartache.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been kind of surprised at how unenjoyable large parts of the having kids enterprise has been.

On an UMC income, you can often end up with precious little left over for any kind of enjoyment luxuries once you have coughed up for what is not expected for UMC kids -- music lessons, extensive SAT tutoring, test prep; daycare; sports lessons, daycamps, more tutors, driving lessons, orthodontics, etc. It's entirely possible to be UMC and still live in a tiny house and drive old cars while saving all your money for college.

It seems like the only way around that is to only have one child.

I also was simply not prepared for the fact that today expectations are that you will be "on" all the time with your kids, that you have to go over every homework assignment, stay at the music lesson with them, know all the kids' friends, be at the elementary school seemingly all the time volunteering, that you will use up all your leave some years just staying home with sick kids and volunteering at school with no time left over for a vacation. (In other words, parenting seems like a lot more fun in Europe than it does in the US what with maternity leave, generous summer vacations and a lot less parental input into the schools.)

I also didn't expect it would feel so damned lonely. If your kids are doing well at something -- music, athletics, school -- you may find that you are therefore surrounded by competimommies who want to race your musician against theirs, your athlete against theirs. Not a lot of real true friendship there. If your kid has issues, people will avoid you.

I've been amazed at how stressful parenting is in this environment, how lonely it is and how expensive it is. It is not at all what I envisioned. The kids are great but all the other stuff kinda sucks.

Can’t you fight back on some of this stuff and not just go along with it?

I’m not going to volunteerr much at a school and certainly won’t use my vacation time for it. Don’t want my kids in many activities because it’s a waste of time and money. I don’t make friends through my kids so competimommies shouldn’t be an issue. I have plenty of sick leave. Saving for college is really the only thing you mentioned I agree with. The rest is truly optional.

I totally agree here. This is all
Optional stuff. You’re kid will turn out just fine even if you don’t volunteer or sign him up for every sport or music lesson. I think parents put too much stress on themselves. Just enjoy your kids and teach them hard work, to treat everyone with kindness, and a love for learning new things. Sure if I didn’t have kids I’d be so much better off financially but I truly feel my life would feel
empty and meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are a giant financial sink hole with no upside.
I've had three and all are teenagers now. They are total jerks and act like they know it all. The oldest is heading to college next year so even when they turn 18 they are not off the books.
Without kids my net worth would be a lot more.

I love them but they are not useful to me. I was researching state law recently and ran across a few sections that discussed a parent legal right to all earned income of their children. It got me thinking that once children worked and contributed to the household. Any more they just suck up resources and provide absolutely no benefit to anyone.

My wife says they are going to help us when we are old. I calculated it up and if I had invested all the money spent on kids there would be more than enough to pay for high quality elder care. I think that might have worked out better than expecting children not to move away and show up once a week to see if we fell down a broke a hip.

Mow you know how ypur parents felt abput you. Sucks doesnt it? You should have stopped at one.

It's unfair to compare OP's experience with his kids. Remember, when OP was a kid, he probably didn't cost his parents beyond the food they fed him and boys were happy with a bicycle and didn't need all the Fortnite, Xbox BS that they have today. I can understand where OP is coming from because it's the truth. Children are a time and money suck and the only reason people can still choose to have them and not go crazy and bankrupt is to justify to themselves how much they love their kids, and how their kids will continue the bloodline. The concept of parental love is actually a 20th century ideal as parents never used to have kids deliberately but rather just had unprotected sex. That's how families ended up with 5,6,7,8 children. But those were also the days when children typically worked to support the family and younger siblings and occupied an adult's role through work and weren't economically useless like they are today. With the advent of birth control and women's autonomy over their reproductive decisions, people can choose to not have ANY children. Saves money and heartache.

You don't know how old the op is. Sure there wasn't some things that we have today but, op could have been spoiled and unappreciative of his parents too! Also, op isn't so bright and should have stopped at one and figured out this before now.

What are we supposed to do with this information? Pity op? or pity the kids?

[Anonymous]

I don't get OP's point. He already HAS the kids. NOW he's asking what's the point?

OP you've got the kids; and right now is teen tough times. It never made financial sense; so no point asking about it now.

Hopefully you will develop a good relationship with at least one of them.

I'm a mom of one easy teen, and one really hard teen, and I have often thought that I wish I had not had kids because the pain caused by the hard one is so tough that it outweighs the joys of having the easy one. But I also know this too shall pass. I keep plugging along and I think when the difficult one is out of the house, the relationship will improve and then I will be on DCUM saying to parents of teens: "You will get through this." (right, parents of young adults?)

[Anonymous]

OP reminds me of my dad. We, his four kids, were all happy when he died at age 66.

My own kids had their moments as teens but overall I have always enjoyed their company and enjoyed raising them. They are adults now and we are good friends.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you raised them badly. GIGO.

[Anonymous]

None. We are DINKS. Love it. We get to live 100% debt free. Will retire abroad at 51. Kids drain your bank account and savings. How many people in this region are overstretching on their mortgage payments just so they can send to their kids to the GOOD schools in MoCo rather than the ones in say Wheaton or Hyattsville? If you don't have kids you can give 0 craps about schools and having to overpay for a home. 'I don't want to die alone!' .....meh. Bad excuse. I actually DO want to die alone and in peace. Everyone thinks kids are fantastic. I've known families in this area who make close to $1 million per year who have given their kids every single opportunity in the book, yet the devolve into losers who sling drugs and end up robbing banks. There is no guarantee at all that if you have a kid that and raise them right with opportunity that they'll still turn out OK.

Too much risk. I love being a DINK with 0 debt and only have to worry about myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you raised them badly. GIGO.

Not necessarily. I've known people who have been tremendous and loving parents. One family I know the kid turned out perfectly fine, got good grades in college, and produced a grand daughter. The other one was a huge bastard who got into drugs and opioids, stole things from the house to feed his addiction, and has been thrown in jail several times. The mental and financial drain of having to deal with a difficult child can be too much, and the same family I know had to disown their son. You can see how much emotional toll it took on the parents everyday. They are literally the most kind, loving and giving parents you could ask for, yet they produced an assholish kid. Such is life. Having no kids gives you 0 risk of producing a spawn of Satan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None. We are DINKS. Love it. We get to live 100% debt free. Will retire abroad at 51. Kids drain your bank account and savings. How many people in this region are overstretching on their mortgage payments just so they can send to their kids to the GOOD schools in MoCo rather than the ones in say Wheaton or Hyattsville? If you don't have kids you can give 0 craps about schools and having to overpay for a home. 'I don't want to die alone!' .....meh. Bad excuse. I actually DO want to die alone and in peace. Everyone thinks kids are fantastic. I've known families in this area who make close to $1 million per year who have given their kids every single opportunity in the book, yet the devolve into losers who sling drugs and end up robbing banks. There is no guarantee at all that if you have a kid that and raise them right with opportunity that they'll still turn out OK.

Too much risk. I love being a DINK with 0 debt and only have to worry about myself.

You sound selfish and self-absorbed. It probably spills over into every aspect of your life.

[Anonymous]

Until my son was 5, he was my sidekick. He would laugh at every joke. He wanted to go everywhere I wanted to go, wanted to do everything I wanted to do.

My girl is 3 and she is the love of my life. Seriously, she fills my life with hugs and kisses and laughter. I do everything she asks me to do. I take her anywhere she wants to go. I'm her sidekick.

Benefit of kids? The benefit for me is knowing that I could get hit by a truck and die a happy man. I have met the 2 greatest loves of my life in my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP reminds me of my dad. We, his four kids, were all happy when he died at age 66.

My own kids had their moments as teens but overall I have always enjoyed their company and enjoyed raising them. They are adults now and we are good friends.

I felt the same about my father. When I brought my toddler twins to visit, he was stiff and non-engaging. I don’t think he wanted kids when I was growing up. He died 8 years ago and I never think about him or have memories of my childhood with him.

[Anonymous]

We raised five kids starting young and now are retired in our 50’s. Ask yourself if you would be happier with a houseful of loved ones or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are a giant financial sink hole with no upside.
I've had three and all are teenagers now. They are total jerks and act like they know it all. The oldest is heading to college next year so even when they turn 18 they are not off the books.
Without kids my net worth would be a lot more.

I love them but they are not useful to me. I was researching state law recently and ran across a few sections that discussed a parent legal right to all earned income of their children. It got me thinking that once children worked and contributed to the household. Any more they just suck up resources and provide absolutely no benefit to anyone.

My wife says they are going to help us when we are old. I calculated it up and if I had invested all the money spent on kids there would be more than enough to pay for high quality elder care. I think that might have worked out better than expecting children not to move away and show up once a week to see if we fell down a broke a hip.

a little late now to be asking this question now innit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll

OP might be a troll but he does raise some interesting questions. I'm currently in the process of raising teenagers, and I've had thoughts similar to these a few times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people have kids? No logical reason these days. Just a deep-seated, evolutionarily adaptive instinct to procreate, and a desire to leave a biological legacy.

I'm a woman, but not a kid person. Never was. Nonetheless, I freaking adore my 7yo--awesome kid. Nothing logical about it.

This is it. There is no "logical" reason to have kids anymore. But we still have a primal instinct to want to leave a biological legacy.