Should we have a second child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, don't wait, already you waited too long. You wants age difference to be around 2 years.

That is a stupid post. Plenty of people prefer to have an age difference of more than two years. I didn’t start trying to conceive til my oldest was 3 and my kids are 4 years apart. For me, the age split is great. I never wanted to be a woman having a baby while my first baby was still a baby.

Whatever, I posted that this is my opinion given in a plain manner, rather than telling her to search other threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many threads on this. I think because society makes people feel guilty for having "just" one. That's dumb but it is a real pressure.

The best advice I have heard about this is from a friend with 2. She said that while she loves her children very much and is very grateful and happy she has them, she appreciates the deliberate choice to have 1 so much more now that she has them, and often regrets not making it. Some commenters with little ability to see thoughtful nuance may jump all over this, but it is an honest, truly human statement that I think people in your situation should understand before making important decisions.

Wait... so she wishes she had stopped at 1? Most people with multiple kids would never want only 1, but of course can appreciate that some (many) things are easier with just 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many threads on this. I think because society makes people feel guilty for having "just" one. That's dumb but it is a real pressure.

The best advice I have heard about this is from a friend with 2. She said that while she loves her children very much and is very grateful and happy she has them, she appreciates the deliberate choice to have 1 so much more now that she has them, and often regrets not making it. Some commenters with little ability to see thoughtful nuance may jump all over this, but it is an honest, truly human statement that I think people in your situation should understand before making important decisions.

Wait... so she wishes she had stopped at 1? Most people with multiple kids would never want only 1, but of course can appreciate that some (many) things are easier with just 1

No. She appreciate the decisions to have 1 as a nice life in a way she didn't appreciate before.. She appreciates that life for her and her husband and 1 child would have been different in some ways that are positive. That isn't to say she dislikes the 2nd kid or regrets him/her.

I would venture to guess that very few people never feel wistful (not necessarily regretful) about choices they could have made but did not...or could not because they were not available to them. Career, where you move, how you spend your time, and family size are not exempt from this. It's human, and hindsight is 20/20. It's not bad or wrong to reflect and think about things, even things you can't change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many threads on this. I think because society makes people feel guilty for having "just" one. That's dumb but it is a real pressure.

The best advice I have heard about this is from a friend with 2. She said that while she loves her children very much and is very grateful and happy she has them, she appreciates the deliberate choice to have 1 so much more now that she has them, and often regrets not making it. Some commenters with little ability to see thoughtful nuance may jump all over this, but it is an honest, truly human statement that I think people in your situation should understand before making important decisions.

Wait... so she wishes she had stopped at 1? Most people with multiple kids would never want only 1, but of course can appreciate that some (many) things are easier with just 1

No. She appreciate the decisions to have 1 as a nice life in a way she didn't appreciate before.. She appreciates that life for her and her husband and 1 child would have been different in some ways that are positive. That isn't to say she dislikes the 2nd kid or regrets him/her.

I would venture to guess that very few people never feel wistful (not necessarily regretful) about choices they could have made but did not...or could not because they were not available to them. Career, where you move, how you spend your time, and family size are not exempt from this. It's human, and hindsight is 20/20. It's not bad or wrong to reflect and think about things, even things you can't change.

This makes sense... there are definite pros and cons to small and large families. I guess some people appreciate le extra love and people in your life, more than they “suffer” from the things they gave up by chosing to have multiple kids. It is all so very personal and there are no right recipes for everyone

[Anonymous]

It is really really hard but totally worth it.

[Anonymous]

Onlies are freaks.

[Anonymous]

have some more kids. the only true wealth in this world is children.

[Anonymous]

Either stop with one or go for 3+. Two is so basic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Onlies are freaks.

And what’s your excuse?