Send late August birthday boy to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that your child will probably turn out fine either way, but the safe choice is holding back.

I held back my late August boy, he is in K this year. He also had average height, no social issues and appeared average academically the spring/summer we were making the decision. Very similar it seems to your child. His daycare advised to hold him, said it wouldn't hurt. We also have an older child that is middle of pack age wise but struggles academically, so that probably swayed our decision some, I didn't want to go through that with two kids.

He is sailing through K, no problem with all those worksheets they give him, I don't think he gets much attention, I guess I do think it might be better if he was challenged a bit more, so that is my one regret right now, but it might change, early days still, plus there is the AAP option. I do think if we had sent him earlier, we would be having to work a lot more with him to keep him on grade like we do with my older child.

Our school is very UMC, so most kids are above average academically and I think my son fits in better as the older child, gives him lots of confidence.

Wouldn't it be in a daycare's financial interest to advise this? People post this sort of thing often, but this isn't necessarily a neutral opinion, IMO.

I'm pp and totally see your point. In our case, the daycare's opinion was not a big deciding factor for us, it actually only mattered that they didn't say "what are you thinking?, you need to start him!". His particular daycare has a mile long waitlist and advised we put him in a pre-K program that they don't offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former K and First teacher, if he is socially ready, I would send him.

+1 Didn't read the rest of this thread but the social component is the most important pre-req for K. Not the academic.

If you keep your child another year in a preschool that didn't get them well prepared for K, aren't you failing that child. If the school could not do it in 2-3 years you were there, what will an extra year do. They can get the social part in K.

No, it has to do with the personality of the child. I have a sensitive and extremely social girls who gets very sad when “rejected” by the older girls and is much happier around younger or same age kids. School can’t do anything about that.

That is not a reason to hold back and holding back will not change their personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If a child isn't reading and it wasn't a focus at home or preschool, holding them back will only hurt them. If they haven't gotten it by age 5, another year of preschool isn't going to help, but K will. If a preschool was great, they would have gotten your child prepared, even if you didn't supplement or help at home.

So, you think that a four year old who cannot read has not been taught properly?

FWIW, I taught school. I'd much rather have a kid who has a large vocabulary, curiosity, and good social skills than a kid who was "trained" to read at four.

I taught a few like that--they could not think their way out of a box. On the other hand, many kids who could not read when they started the school year could easily pass the others by if they had great language skills. Being read to and talked with is a lot more important than learning to call words.

You make a lot of assumptions. Why can't kids have it all and read early. Most kids who read early are read to and have a natural curiosity that allowed them to read early. We didn't train our child to read. We exposed him and he just picked it up. Language skills have nothing to do with it. Mine did not. Going to K. was helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former K and First teacher, if he is socially ready, I would send him.

+1 Didn't read the rest of this thread but the social component is the most important pre-req for K. Not the academic.

If you keep your child another year in a preschool that didn't get them well prepared for K, aren't you failing that child. If the school could not do it in 2-3 years you were there, what will an extra year do. They can get the social part in K.

No, it has to do with the personality of the child. I have a sensitive and extremely social girls who gets very sad when “rejected” by the older girls and is much happier around younger or same age kids. School can’t do anything about that.

That is not a reason to hold back and holding back will not change their personality.

Of course it is. She will gain confidence and slowly learn to behave and relate among other kids. I can’t think of a better reason to hold a child back. You don’t know what you are talking about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one late June, one late July and two August and I sent all of them to K when they were 5. They did great. Two are adults now and one is in 9th and will graduate with honors at age 17.

So I'm assuming you think OP should also send her DS to K on time?If so, I agree with you as there is really nothing she's written here indicates that there is any real reason for holding him back.


That being said, how on earth do you already know that your 9th grader will graduate with honors more than three years from now? Are you clairvoyant?

[Anonymous]

You make a lot of assumptions. Why can't kids have it all and read early. Most kids who read early are read to and have a natural curiosity that allowed them to read early. We didn't train our child to read. We exposed him and he just picked it up. Language skills have nothing to do with it. Mine did not. Going to K. was helpful.

Not assumptions. Years of experience and observation and expertise in reading instruction.

You would be surprised at some of the preschools (and parents) who spend hours going over the alphabet and sounds without ever talking to their kids and developing language skills. These are the ones who are "trained" to read.

A child who learns out of interest and curiosity is a great thing--but all kids do not start reading before K and yet pick it up and pass some of their peers who read early. A kid with strong language development and no learning problems can easily learn to read at six. I am not saying to keep your child from reading at four, I am just saying that there are more important things for four year olds to be learning. Taking time out to drill a child instead of talking to him and helping him develop a rich vocabulary is not a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You make a lot of assumptions. Why can't kids have it all and read early. Most kids who read early are read to and have a natural curiosity that allowed them to read early. We didn't train our child to read. We exposed him and he just picked it up. Language skills have nothing to do with it. Mine did not. Going to K. was helpful.

Not assumptions. Years of experience and observation and expertise in reading instruction.

You would be surprised at some of the preschools (and parents) who spend hours going over the alphabet and sounds without ever talking to their kids and developing language skills. These are the ones who are "trained" to read.

A child who learns out of interest and curiosity is a great thing--but all kids do not start reading before K and yet pick it up and pass some of their peers who read early. A kid with strong language development and no learning problems can easily learn to read at six. I am not saying to keep your child from reading at four, I am just saying that there are more important things for four year olds to be learning. Taking time out to drill a child instead of talking to him and helping him develop a rich vocabulary is not a good thing.

You make huge assumptions that parents are drilling kids. Reading to your child and pointing out words is not drilling. Some kids just pick up reading naturally and are not taught, like mine. My child told me one day he could read. We didn't believe him and gave him a new book and he read it.

Very few preschools teach academics and reading. We had to look hard to find one and my child thrived there. There was a bit of everything, especially language development. Play based doesn't work for all kids nor does it always give the kids what they need to be prepared for K. which is why you see so many kids being held back by parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former K and First teacher, if he is socially ready, I would send him.

+1 Didn't read the rest of this thread but the social component is the most important pre-req for K. Not the academic.

If you keep your child another year in a preschool that didn't get them well prepared for K, aren't you failing that child. If the school could not do it in 2-3 years you were there, what will an extra year do. They can get the social part in K.

No, it has to do with the personality of the child. I have a sensitive and extremely social girls who gets very sad when “rejected” by the older girls and is much happier around younger or same age kids. School can’t do anything about that.

That is not a reason to hold back and holding back will not change their personality.

Of course it is. She will gain confidence and slowly learn to behave and relate among other kids. I can’t think of a better reason to hold a child back. You don’t know what you are talking about

She also could have learned that in K. You don't know what you are talking about. If she hadn't learned to behave in 2-3 years of preschool, how does a 4th year help? It doesn't. You might as well save the money and keep her home at that point as its just age that allows her to behave better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former K and First teacher, if he is socially ready, I would send him.

+1 Didn't read the rest of this thread but the social component is the most important pre-req for K. Not the academic.

If you keep your child another year in a preschool that didn't get them well prepared for K, aren't you failing that child. If the school could not do it in 2-3 years you were there, what will an extra year do. They can get the social part in K.

No, it has to do with the personality of the child. I have a sensitive and extremely social girls who gets very sad when “rejected” by the older girls and is much happier around younger or same age kids. School can’t do anything about that.

That is not a reason to hold back and holding back will not change their personality.

Of course it is. She will gain confidence and slowly learn to behave and relate among other kids. I can’t think of a better reason to hold a child back. You don’t know what you are talking about

She also could have learned that in K. You don't know what you are talking about. If she hadn't learned to behave in 2-3 years of preschool, how does a 4th year help? It doesn't. You might as well save the money and keep her home at that point as its just age that allows her to behave better.

Since you don’t know the situation and have no idea what you are talking about (nor can you read obviously) you should refrain from writing. You are not very smart are you? Re-read my original post and see if you get it this time. I am very happy to spend 30k for preschool for my child because she IS learning so much and is so very happy. Fitting in with the other kids is not something anyone can teach... it will only happen with time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You make a lot of assumptions. Why can't kids have it all and read early. Most kids who read early are read to and have a natural curiosity that allowed them to read early. We didn't train our child to read. We exposed him and he just picked it up. Language skills have nothing to do with it. Mine did not. Going to K. was helpful.

Not assumptions. Years of experience and observation and expertise in reading instruction.

You would be surprised at some of the preschools (and parents) who spend hours going over the alphabet and sounds without ever talking to their kids and developing language skills. These are the ones who are "trained" to read.

A child who learns out of interest and curiosity is a great thing--but all kids do not start reading before K and yet pick it up and pass some of their peers who read early. A kid with strong language development and no learning problems can easily learn to read at six. I am not saying to keep your child from reading at four, I am just saying that there are more important things for four year olds to be learning. Taking time out to drill a child instead of talking to him and helping him develop a rich vocabulary is not a good thing.

You make huge assumptions that parents are drilling kids. Reading to your child and pointing out words is not drilling. Some kids just pick up reading naturally and are not taught, like mine. My child told me one day he could read. We didn't believe him and gave him a new book and he read it.

Very few preschools teach academics and reading. We had to look hard to find one and my child thrived there. There was a bit of everything, especially language development. Play based doesn't work for all kids nor does it always give the kids what they need to be prepared for K. which is why you see so many kids being held back by parents.

Why so defensive? PP wasn't talking about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Btw the school age cut off is 12-31 in many states so holding home back when he hits college he will really be old

Really old????? He will be barely 19! He will graduate HS at 18! I went to collega at 19 and so do many students from European countries. I am glad I was one year older than most of my classmates (lots of people delay entrance to college so i was hardly the oldest)

It’s december in Connecticut and parts of NY only. It’s july and August in lots of other places. Something like 38 states have a cutoff of 9/1 or earlier.

Honestly, OP, the opinions of others don’t matter here. It’s an agonizing decision but one you have to make based on your gut and your specific circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former K and First teacher, if he is socially ready, I would send him.

+1 Didn't read the rest of this thread but the social component is the most important pre-req for K. Not the academic.

If you keep your child another year in a preschool that didn't get them well prepared for K, aren't you failing that child. If the school could not do it in 2-3 years you were there, what will an extra year do. They can get the social part in K.

No, it has to do with the personality of the child. I have a sensitive and extremely social girls who gets very sad when “rejected” by the older girls and is much happier around younger or same age kids. School can’t do anything about that.

That is not a reason to hold back and holding back will not change their personality.

Of course it is. She will gain confidence and slowly learn to behave and relate among other kids. I can’t think of a better reason to hold a child back. You don’t know what you are talking about

She also could have learned that in K. You don't know what you are talking about. If she hadn't learned to behave in 2-3 years of preschool, how does a 4th year help? It doesn't. You might as well save the money and keep her home at that point as its just age that allows her to behave better.

Since you don’t know the situation and have no idea what you are talking about (nor can you read obviously) you should refrain from writing. You are not very smart are you? Re-read my original post and see if you get it this time. I am very happy to spend 30k for preschool for my child because she IS learning so much and is so very happy. Fitting in with the other kids is not something anyone can teach... it will only happen with time

I'm smart enough to know to send my kid on time and that $30K is better spent on private K or college or graduate school as clearly your day care/preschool didn't prepare your child. Holding back will not help. Time does but that will happen either way. They can develop that skill in K, which is what K. is for.

[Anonymous]

Very few preschools teach academics and reading. We had to look hard to find one and my child thrived there. There was a bit of everything, especially language development.

Play based doesn't work for all kids

nor does it always give the kids what they need to be prepared for K. which is why you see so many kids being held back by parents.

Sad when a three year old cannot thrive in a play based environment. Preschools should not be teaching reading per se. Certainly they should be using the alphabet, sounds, and numbers (and numerals) in a play based environment. But, if the goal is to teach reading, something is wrong. There is a reason it is called preschool. Sounds like PP just wanted school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You make a lot of assumptions. Why can't kids have it all and read early. Most kids who read early are read to and have a natural curiosity that allowed them to read early. We didn't train our child to read. We exposed him and he just picked it up. Language skills have nothing to do with it. Mine did not. Going to K. was helpful.

Not assumptions. Years of experience and observation and expertise in reading instruction.

You would be surprised at some of the preschools (and parents) who spend hours going over the alphabet and sounds without ever talking to their kids and developing language skills. These are the ones who are "trained" to read.

A child who learns out of interest and curiosity is a great thing--but all kids do not start reading before K and yet pick it up and pass some of their peers who read early. A kid with strong language development and no learning problems can easily learn to read at six. I am not saying to keep your child from reading at four, I am just saying that there are more important things for four year olds to be learning. Taking time out to drill a child instead of talking to him and helping him develop a rich vocabulary is not a good thing.

You make huge assumptions that parents are drilling kids. Reading to your child and pointing out words is not drilling. Some kids just pick up reading naturally and are not taught, like mine. My child told me one day he could read. We didn't believe him and gave him a new book and he read it.

Very few preschools teach academics and reading. We had to look hard to find one and my child thrived there. There was a bit of everything, especially language development. Play based doesn't work for all kids nor does it always give the kids what they need to be prepared for K. which is why you see so many kids being held back by parents.

Why so defensive? PP wasn't talking about you.

I'm beginning to think that PP's kid is one of those who was "trained" to read. That's why she is so defensive. I hope she backs off a little with her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a former K and First teacher, if he is socially ready, I would send him.

+1 Didn't read the rest of this thread but the social component is the most important pre-req for K. Not the academic.

If you keep your child another year in a preschool that didn't get them well prepared for K, aren't you failing that child. If the school could not do it in 2-3 years you were there, what will an extra year do. They can get the social part in K.

No, it has to do with the personality of the child. I have a sensitive and extremely social girls who gets very sad when “rejected” by the older girls and is much happier around younger or same age kids. School can’t do anything about that.

That is not a reason to hold back and holding back will not change their personality.

Of course it is. She will gain confidence and slowly learn to behave and relate among other kids. I can’t think of a better reason to hold a child back. You don’t know what you are talking about

She also could have learned that in K. You don't know what you are talking about. If she hadn't learned to behave in 2-3 years of preschool, how does a 4th year help? It doesn't. You might as well save the money and keep her home at that point as its just age that allows her to behave better.

Since you don’t know the situation and have no idea what you are talking about (nor can you read obviously) you should refrain from writing. You are not very smart are you? Re-read my original post and see if you get it this time. I am very happy to spend 30k for preschool for my child because she IS learning so much and is so very happy. Fitting in with the other kids is not something anyone can teach... it will only happen with time

I'm smart enough to know to send my kid on time and that $30K is better spent on private K or college or graduate school as clearly your day care/preschool didn't prepare your child. Holding back will not help. Time does but that will happen either way. They can develop that skill in K, which is what K. is for.

Again, you don’t get it... holding back will help a lot because she is more comfortable with younger kids or same age kids. I know what I am talking about since she used to be in a classroom full of kids 1+ years older than her and she was sad and miserable because the older kids did not want to play with her and she did not take rejections well. Now she is in class with same age kids (+- 3 months) and she is getting more confident and is much happier. Now tell me how being in class with kids that are 6 to 1 year older than her will help her.