Having a hard time fitting in at private school...as parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spike kid may be made up, but the moral of the story is not that off the mark.

We purposefully chose a school cluster that wasn't "wealthy" because of this very issue. We are UMC, but I like to live frugally. My kids don't have the latest gadgets or name brand stuff. They shop at goodwill with their friends.

Even so, some of DC's friends do come from money, and they have really nice stuff, and go on really nice vacations, and DCs don't have that and notice it. They don't complain about it because they have a comfortable life, but imagine if you are the only kid in your group of friends who has never been on a plane, let alone a nice vacation (we have), or shops at Target for their clothes (my kids have done) rather than the name brand stores.

It takes a really strong self aware kid to not mind being the odd one out.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spike kid may be made up, but the moral of the story is not that off the mark.

We purposefully chose a school cluster that wasn't "wealthy" because of this very issue. We are UMC, but I like to live frugally. My kids don't have the latest gadgets or name brand stuff. They shop at goodwill with their friends.

Even so, some of DC's friends do come from money, and they have really nice stuff, and go on really nice vacations, and DCs don't have that and notice it. They don't complain about it because they have a comfortable life, but imagine if you are the only kid in your group of friends who has never been on a plane, let alone a nice vacation (we have), or shops at Target for their clothes (my kids have done) rather than the name brand stores.

It takes a really strong self aware kid to not mind being the odd one out.

I agree.

Op began this thread in 2018?

Anyway yes there are schools which are easier to be welcomed into and those that are not. Look up the threads on this topic there are many. I would say rather than me telling you the schools to avoid I’ll tell you a few where you don’t need to be super wealthy or belong to the right social club ie: Met or Sulgrave or right country club to be considered good enough to be invited to be a part of the community. I would say those schools would be Sidwell, GDS, Gonzaga, NCS, Burke, St. Andrews, Maret to name a few.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our daughter started preK at a private school last September. We really wrestled with sending her there vs. sending her to public school for many reasons, one of which is that we knew that as parents, we'd fit in way better at public school.

Well, that has turned out to be true. I'm finding it hard to connect and find common ground with other parents in my daughter's class. Many (most) of them are very wealthy, while we are middle class and receive financial aid. Most of the moms don't work, most families don't live in our town, etc. By contrast, we have such a lovely community of parent friends at our preschool (our daughter went there, our younger son is still there), and we're really missing it.

We decided to send her to private school because the education is top-notch and we couldn't pass up that opportunity for our daughter. But I'm wishing that we as parents had more of a community at school. We are friendly/cordial with other parents at school events etc., but I can't really envision socializing with any of the, We're just not finding "our people," and that feels a little lonely/isolating.

Has anyone else experienced the same thing and can share some suggestions or commiseration?

School is about your children. You should find friends on your own. Also, it may be that since you have older kids too, you aren't in that first time parent place. On a side note, lots of SAHMs at the better publics...

This! OP, I am in almost the same situation. Guess what, it is ok. Those people will always find reasons to push you out. Just stay out to avoid all those dramas. Not sharing the same neighborhood, no trust fund, do not know some famous news anchors, not black, all cool. We are who we are. No need to make friends with them.

[Anonymous]

Is your daughter making friends? I think her happiness and best interests are what you need to think about in the bigger picture.