We are not married with 2 kids. What are my rights if we separate?

[Anonymous]

Op, did you clean, cook and was responsible for other household chores that benefited him somehow?

In my country of origin, that is how lawyers and judges got around this kind of issue before legislators passed laws protecting to protect women (mostly) in these kind of de facto marriages.

They would treat the women (“wives”) as essentially unpaid maids and award them with back pay for all the years of unpaid labor. If that was/is your reality, you could bring it up to a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you stake so much risk without the protection of marriage?

+1. I don't understand why so many women make themselves so incredibly financially vulnerable...

This. And I would find some logical reason to get married soon. Like for healthcare for you or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, did you clean, cook and was responsible for other household chores that benefited him somehow?

In my country of origin, that is how lawyers and judges got around this kind of issue before legislators passed laws protecting to protect women (mostly) in these kind of de facto marriages.

They would treat the women (“wives”) as essentially unpaid maids and award them with back pay for all the years of unpaid labor. If that was/is your reality, you could bring it up to a lawyer.

That’s not how this country works...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he just kick me out of the house?

Does he own the house?

Yes.

Out of curiosity, why do you think you have rights to live in the house?

np why would you think the mother of his child has no rights to live in the house?

Because she would have no legal right to. Being a mother doesn’t convey housing rights. Being a legal spouse would.

[Anonymous]

Laws on common law marriage vary by state. You need to consult a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he just kick me out of the house?

Does he own the house?

Yes.

Out of curiosity, why do you think you have rights to live in the house?

np why would you think the mother of his child has no rights to live in the house?

Because she would have no legal right to. Being a mother doesn’t convey housing rights. Being a legal spouse would.

Right. I am not legally entitled to live in my ex’s house (and it would be awkward with his new wife).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a lesson to you about the dangers of giving the milk away for free!

No this isn’t a lesson for anything because nobody has pointed out any better legal protections that OP would have if she were married.

For starters, she'd have rights to the house.

She'd have rights to anything earned or gained during the marriage. She'd be able to get his social security depending on how long they were married.

+1. You’re a moron if you’re a woman and have kids with a man you’re not married to.

No you’re only a moron if you want to be a SAHP and do this. If you can support yourself or have your own money and want kids, this may be the way to go. The problem is a lot of women accept financial dependence- I think it’s a stupid choice married or no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a lesson to you about the dangers of giving the milk away for free!

No this isn’t a lesson for anything because nobody has pointed out any better legal protections that OP would have if she were married.

For starters, she'd have rights to the house.

She'd have rights to anything earned or gained during the marriage. She'd be able to get his social security depending on how long they were married.

+1. You’re a moron if you’re a woman and have kids with a man you’re not married to.

What if the man you don't marry is substantially poorer than you?

This is me. I had two children with a man I wasn't married to, and not marrying him was one of the best decisions of my life. I make a lot more than him, and when he turned out to be a liar and a cheat, I was able to get out of the relationship without paying him anything. If we were married, he'd have been entitled to a lot of my hard-earned assets and income. Not to mention that the whole time we were married, we would have paid a lot more in taxes. I actually don't know why any high-earning woman would get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let this be a lesson to you about the dangers of giving the milk away for free!

No this isn’t a lesson for anything because nobody has pointed out any better legal protections that OP would have if she were married.

For starters, she'd have rights to the house.

She'd have rights to anything earned or gained during the marriage. She'd be able to get his social security depending on how long they were married.

+1. You’re a moron if you’re a woman and have kids with a man you’re not married to.

What if the man you don't marry is substantially poorer than you?

This is me. I had two children with a man I wasn't married to, and not marrying him was one of the best decisions of my life. I make a lot more than him, and when he turned out to be a liar and a cheat, I was able to get out of the relationship without paying him anything. If we were married, he'd have been entitled to a lot of my hard-earned assets and income. Not to mention that the whole time we were married, we would have paid a lot more in taxes. I actually don't know why any high-earning woman would get married.

There problem here isn't that he was a liar and a cheat, it was that he was poor. If he wasn't, you'd be entitled to a lot of his assets and income too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he just kick me out of the house?

Does he own the house?

Yes.

Out of curiosity, why do you think you have rights to live in the house?

np why would you think the mother of his child has no rights to live in the house?

Because she would have no legal right to. Being a mother doesn’t convey housing rights. Being a legal spouse would.

Which is challenging. I’m in a similar living arrangement, (not married/living together/kids), and we pay for the house together. It was his before I moved in but I’m not on title. We’re happily unmarried children of divorce. I suppose we need to handle that paperwork though. Wills, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can he just kick me out of the house?

Does he own the house?

Yes.

Out of curiosity, why do you think you have rights to live in the house?

np why would you think the mother of his child has no rights to live in the house?

Because she would have no legal right to. Being a mother doesn’t convey housing rights. Being a legal spouse would.

Which is challenging. I’m in a similar living arrangement, (not married/living together/kids), and we pay for the house together. It was his before I moved in but I’m not on title. We’re happily unmarried children of divorce. I suppose we need to handle that paperwork though. Wills, etc.

PP, protect yourself (or yourselves) and your children by getting a cohabitation agreement.

Things get ugly when relationships falter.