"Cat Person"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really surprised by the # of women who relate to this and think Robert was too aggressive.

He seemed like he was barely into her and she had to initiate/push everything along (including the sex! Which she didn’t even want but blamed him for) until after the sex when it flipped.

Robert shouldn’t have called her a whore. Granted. That seemed to come out if left field though. Until that point he was pretty considerate.

But I do think she lead him on. Don’t fuck guys you’re not into, duh. And if you’re stupid or naive enough to do that, don’t have the nerve to turn around and blame them for YOUR poor decisions. Bad sex is just bad sex. It’s not rape or assault, nothing to blame the guy on.

That is the ENTIRE point of the essay. Once they had sex he FLIPPED and called her a WHORE and would not let up with the texting.

And come on, how many guys fuck girls they arent into? Then the girls texts them nonstop and the guy thinks the girl is crazy. This essay also points out what behaviors we think are okay for a man, but not okay for a woman.

How people fail to see the nuances of this astounds me. Reading comprehension, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women victim blaming on DCUM, what a shocker.

Margot is 20 years old. Robert is more than a decade her senior. While she did not act admirably, Robert is astoundingly stunted in his emotional development.

This is generally why society thinks 20 year olds should date people their own age rather than those 14 years older than them.

Or people 14 years younger for that matter....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really surprised by the # of women who relate to this and think Robert was too aggressive.

He seemed like he was barely into her and she had to initiate/push everything along (including the sex! Which she didn’t even want but blamed him for) until after the sex when it flipped.

Robert shouldn’t have called her a whore. Granted. That seemed to come out if left field though. Until that point he was pretty considerate.

But I do think she lead him on. Don’t fuck guys you’re not into, duh. And if you’re stupid or naive enough to do that, don’t have the nerve to turn around and blame them for YOUR poor decisions. Bad sex is just bad sex. It’s not rape or assault, nothing to blame the guy on.

That is the ENTIRE point of the essay. Once they had sex he FLIPPED and called her a WHORE and would not let up with the texting.

And come on, how many guys fuck girls they arent into? Then the girls texts them nonstop and the guy thinks the girl is crazy. This essay also points out what behaviors we think are okay for a man, but not okay for a woman.

How people fail to see the nuances of this astounds me. Reading comprehension, people.

He didn't flip right after sex. He wanted to make her eggs the next AM, remember? Reading comprehension.

She dumped him/ignored him/then sent a nasty text (which he thought was from her even if the roommate wrote it....then he called her a whore and sent rude texts.

He seems really emotionally stunted but it is doubly cruel to mess with someone who doesn't "know the rules of the game." Even a 20 year old knows that. Where did she think this was going? She knew he was fat from the first time she saw him at the theatre yet she pursued him until he probably felt like he had to sleep with her. I've seen that before, haven't you? It is just as wrong to do that to a guy as it is for a guy to do it to a girl. and then drop them like a hot iron? WTF.

I don't think it is OK for a man to do that kind of thing, either. What is wrong with "modern women" that they accept this, if what you are saying is true? where has their self-respect gone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women victim blaming on DCUM, what a shocker.

Margot is 20 years old. Robert is more than a decade her senior. While she did not act admirably, Robert is astoundingly stunted in his emotional development.

They are both stunted. That's why they were attracted to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really surprised by the # of women who relate to this and think Robert was too aggressive.

He seemed like he was barely into her and she had to initiate/push everything along (including the sex! Which she didn’t even want but blamed him for) until after the sex when it flipped.

Robert shouldn’t have called her a whore. Granted. That seemed to come out if left field though. Until that point he was pretty considerate.

But I do think she lead him on. Don’t fuck guys you’re not into, duh. And if you’re stupid or naive enough to do that, don’t have the nerve to turn around and blame them for YOUR poor decisions. Bad sex is just bad sex. It’s not rape or assault, nothing to blame the guy on.

That is the ENTIRE point of the essay. Once they had sex he FLIPPED and called her a WHORE and would not let up with the texting.

And come on, how many guys fuck girls they arent into? Then the girls texts them nonstop and the guy thinks the girl is crazy. This essay also points out what behaviors we think are okay for a man, but not okay for a woman.

How people fail to see the nuances of this astounds me. Reading comprehension, people.

He didn't flip right after sex. He wanted to make her eggs the next AM, remember? Reading comprehension.

She dumped him/ignored him/then sent a nasty text (which he thought was from her even if the roommate wrote it....then he called her a whore and sent rude texts.

He seems really emotionally stunted but it is doubly cruel to mess with someone who doesn't "know the rules of the game." Even a 20 year old knows that. Where did she think this was going? She knew he was fat from the first time she saw him at the theatre yet she pursued him until he probably felt like he had to sleep with her. I've seen that before, haven't you? It is just as wrong to do that to a guy as it is for a guy to do it to a girl. and then drop them like a hot iron? WTF.

I don't think it is OK for a man to do that kind of thing, either. What is wrong with "modern women" that they accept this, if what you are saying is true? where has their self-respect gone?

He sent the texts after he saw her at the bar with that other dude. She'd already broken up with him at that point. Neither of them was a great person in this story. I think this story was about how we all project fantasies onto others, then can be real assholes when those fantasies aren't fulfilled.

[Anonymous]

Do we all do that? Hmmm. I can't say that is my experience with the guys I've dated. But I try not to date people who are likely to turn into scary assholes when things aren't perfect....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was painful to read; I kept waiting for it to end. This is what passes as “good writing” now? What’s the appeal for this story?

Let me guess: you're a man

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You all are a harsh, judgmental bunch that either can't or willfully refuse to remember what it was like to be young and dumb.

I think it was an excellent portrayal of a sexual situation that many, many, many young women find themselves in but we hardly ever talk about. Nobody in the story has to be "right" or "wrong." Life is certainly more complicated than that. The story isn't supposed to be a morality play of some sort.

I liked it. I'm glad it was written and I'm glad people are talking about it.

Totally agree.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do we all do that? Hmmm. I can't say that is my experience with the guys I've dated. But I try not to date people who are likely to turn into scary assholes when things aren't perfect....

You've probably led a perfect yet excruciatingly boring life then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do we all do that? Hmmm. I can't say that is my experience with the guys I've dated. But I try not to date people who are likely to turn into scary assholes when things aren't perfect....

You've probably led a perfect yet excruciatingly boring life then

seriously. and were never young and bored, or young and testing your power - or changed your mind about someone partway through a date, or partway through sex, or changed your mind about anything because you were always right the first time, never wrong ever.

or, are a liar and project fantasies onto yourself, then feel rage at yourself when you are unable to fulfill them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. You all are a harsh, judgmental bunch that either can't or willfully refuse to remember what it was like to be young and dumb.

I think it was an excellent portrayal of a sexual situation that many, many, many young women find themselves in but we hardly ever talk about. Nobody in the story has to be "right" or "wrong." Life is certainly more complicated than that. The story isn't supposed to be a morality play of some sort.

I liked it. I'm glad it was written and I'm glad people are talking about it.

Yes. Seems lots of PPs have forgotten about their early 20s.

I'm one of the PPs who thought it was poorly written and unremarkable.

See, I do remember my early 20s, which is partly why I find this story so uninteresting. I've heard this story before and there was nothing new about it. It was dull and predictable. Maybe if the writing hadn't been so cliched, I might have appreciated it more.

But that's just me. Obviously, a lot of people are getting more out of it.

[Anonymous]

How did this get published? That photo was gross, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women victim blaming on DCUM, what a shocker.

Margot is 20 years old. Robert is more than a decade her senior. While she did not act admirably, Robert is astoundingly stunted in his emotional development.

They are both stunted. That's why they were attracted to each other.

No--she was a college student; he was in his mid 30s. To put into perspective--at my law firm, we have 20 year old college interns; we just promoted a 34 year old to equity partner. BIG difference. I expect the 20 year olds to be somewhat immature. I fully expect the middle aged person to be mature and in control.

[Anonymous]

They were both attracted to the idea of the person, not the actual person. She was never in love with him, she was in love with her fantasy of what her Prince Charming would be like based on only her positive interactions with him while ignoring all the awkward, unpleasant interactions. I did that several times as a teenager and even in my early twenties before I wised up. It was an interesting story that was worth the 5 minutes it took to read. Better than goofing off for 5 more minutes somewhere else online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given the way Margot acted, I’m not sure why so many women seem to think this is in any way related to the #metoo sexual harassment/assault survivors.

It was bad sex. It happens. That’s not harassment, assault, or rape. And she was cruel to him which is what made him lash out at her in anger. It’s not like he called her a whore immediately after the sex. He wanted her to stay over and start a relationship. She didn’t like him.

They really don’t seem that into each other. And then they had bad sex. 20 year olds have bad sex with dull partners from time to time. He seemed like a weird guy.