Your child isn’t the only kid in the classroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any decent preschool teacher would have been more understanding. Sounds like it is time to retire.

I agree. Halloween is one day a year, and it's a bit chaotic. Roll with it.

OP is rolling with it. The child is not. My son's K teacher sent the list of rules for costumes, and i followed them. I don't want my son to be the one who disrupts the class more than necessary.

OP is a preschool teacher. It's normal for kids to cry in her class. And if she has 17 4-year-olds in her class, I don't have a lot of sympathy. That's just too many. My DC's preschools have had 8-12 kids per class with an aide.

You are an idiot. As if OP has control over class size. DCPS: 18 with an aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any decent preschool teacher would have been more understanding. Sounds like it is time to retire.

I agree. Halloween is one day a year, and it's a bit chaotic. Roll with it.

OP is rolling with it. The child is not. My son's K teacher sent the list of rules for costumes, and i followed them. I don't want my son to be the one who disrupts the class more than necessary.

OP is a preschool teacher. It's normal for kids to cry in her class. And if she has 17 4-year-olds in her class, I don't have a lot of sympathy. That's just too many. My DC's preschools have had 8-12 kids per class with an aide.

You are an idiot. As if OP has control over class size. DCPS: 18 with an aid.

Lol DCPS's wonderful universal PK. You get what you pay for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our class has their Halloween party today. I specially asked that children bring their costumes in a bag and we would change them after nap. 1 parent came in and told me her child did not want to bring it in a bag said sorry and ran out the door. Most of you will tell me this is no big deal. However after the mom left I had 4 kids cry at drop off because they were not in costume like ___. 2 others who constantly complained it wasn’t fair he got to wear his costume all day. He could not do the art project or manipulatives because the costume had gloves that he didn’t want to take them off. Then had to deal with a meltdown because part of his costume was unsafe for the playground and had to have him take that part off. Parents we don’t ask these things because we are lazy, or don’t want to do our job. (Do you really think it’s easy for me to put on 17 Halloween costumes?) It’s because we’ve been doing this a long time and we’ve made mistakes and know what works best and what doesn’t.

And this is why Halloween parties in daycare are really stupid. Also, how experienced are you in that you are not able to get a child to take off his gloves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our class has their Halloween party today. I specially asked that children bring their costumes in a bag and we would change them after nap. 1 parent came in and told me her child did not want to bring it in a bag said sorry and ran out the door. Most of you will tell me this is no big deal. However after the mom left I had 4 kids cry at drop off because they were not in costume like ___. 2 others who constantly complained it wasn’t fair he got to wear his costume all day. He could not do the art project or manipulatives because the costume had gloves that he didn’t want to take them off. Then had to deal with a meltdown because part of his costume was unsafe for the playground and had to have him take that part off. Parents we don’t ask these things because we are lazy, or don’t want to do our job. (Do you really think it’s easy for me to put on 17 Halloween costumes?) It’s because we’ve been doing this a long time and we’ve made mistakes and know what works best and what doesn’t.

And this is why Halloween parties in daycare are really stupid. Also, how experienced are you in that you are not able to get a child to take off his gloves.

I'm a parent, and the teacher specifically asked for parent volunteers to help the kids get dressed in their costumes for 10 minutes before the class party (to which parents were invited). And guess what? In that 10 minutes, I was able to help exactly 3 kids put on costumes. Because Kid X had a costume with a cape that wouldn't stay on and I had to find a way to keep it on using classroom materials because I didn't think to bring pins. Kid Y had to take his shoes off to get into his costume, and asked me for help to put them back on...because they were too tight. I had to loosen all the laces and do some serious shoving, which made the kid unhappy. And then my own child, which was easy and fast because his costume was simple. I can't imagine a preschool teacher doing this alone for 17 kids in a timely way, so those who are complaining from the safety of their desk need to think about how much time it takes to put an unfamiliar costume on a wiggling kid.

[Anonymous]

The parent drop and ran because they didn't want to have the fight with either the kid or the teacher about the rules. They let the kid have their way instead of having a melt-down and the teacher had to deal with the fall out.

Everyone thinks an exception is "no big deal" but when you are dealing with a lot of kids fairness and justice is HUGE.

[Anonymous]

Op, I teach a class of 2 year olds, and I completely agree. On a daily basis, I have parents bring me their problems.
He wouldn't put his shoes on. Can you get him to?

He wouldn't get dressed today. (Hands me clothes and shoes and a kid in PJs)
She insisted on bringing these home yesterday (hands me three pieces of artwork they ripped off my walls)
She bit her sister last night. Can you talk to her about that?
and my favorite...
We decided to potty train last night (hands me a kid in wet underwear, a large bag of extra clothes, a jar of m&ms, and tells me that he stays dry if you put him on the potty every 10 minutes)

I have a class of 14, and I love every single one of them with my entire heart, but I am not their parent. I can't override poor decisions and discipline at home when the kid runs the household, I can't dress the kids every morning, and I can't devote my entire day to a toddler in underwear who has no bladder control and no clue what a potty is.

Every parent thinks that I exist only for their child. I wish that could be the case, but somewhere along the line, someone thought it would be a good idea to raise children in same-age groups of 10-20...so we have to do the best we can with what we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I teach a class of 2 year olds, and I completely agree. On a daily basis, I have parents bring me their problems.
He wouldn't put his shoes on. Can you get him to?

He wouldn't get dressed today. (Hands me clothes and shoes and a kid in PJs)
She insisted on bringing these home yesterday (hands me three pieces of artwork they ripped off my walls)
She bit her sister last night. Can you talk to her about that?
and my favorite...
We decided to potty train last night (hands me a kid in wet underwear, a large bag of extra clothes, a jar of m&ms, and tells me that he stays dry if you put him on the potty every 10 minutes)

I have a class of 14, and I love every single one of them with my entire heart, but I am not their parent. I can't override poor decisions and discipline at home when the kid runs the household, I can't dress the kids every morning, and I can't devote my entire day to a toddler in underwear who has no bladder control and no clue what a potty is.

Every parent thinks that I exist only for their child. I wish that could be the case, but somewhere along the line, someone thought it would be a good idea to raise children in same-age groups of 10-20...so we have to do the best we can with what we have.

And just in case you think this PP teaches somewhere special, I'll say that this happens at our preschool all the time. I'm so frustrated by the shoe thing, you can't believe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I teach a class of 2 year olds, and I completely agree. On a daily basis, I have parents bring me their problems.
He wouldn't put his shoes on. Can you get him to?

He wouldn't get dressed today. (Hands me clothes and shoes and a kid in PJs)
She insisted on bringing these home yesterday (hands me three pieces of artwork they ripped off my walls)
She bit her sister last night. Can you talk to her about that?
and my favorite...
We decided to potty train last night (hands me a kid in wet underwear, a large bag of extra clothes, a jar of m&ms, and tells me that he stays dry if you put him on the potty every 10 minutes)

I have a class of 14, and I love every single one of them with my entire heart, but I am not their parent. I can't override poor decisions and discipline at home when the kid runs the household, I can't dress the kids every morning, and I can't devote my entire day to a toddler in underwear who has no bladder control and no clue what a potty is.

Every parent thinks that I exist only for their child. I wish that could be the case, but somewhere along the line, someone thought it would be a good idea to raise children in same-age groups of 10-20...so we have to do the best we can with what we have.

And just in case you think this PP teaches somewhere special, I'll say that this happens at our preschool all the time. I'm so frustrated by the shoe thing, you can't believe!

Why can't parents parent anymore?
Kid won't put their shoes on? We're not going to the park/birthday/store/school until he does.
Parents are afraid to deal with the situation because it may take time and be inconvenient, but the reality is, after the first time or two they miss a trip somewhere good because they won't put their shoes on, it won't happen again.
If you keep playing this game, it's going to happen forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I teach a class of 2 year olds, and I completely agree. On a daily basis, I have parents bring me their problems.
He wouldn't put his shoes on. Can you get him to?

He wouldn't get dressed today. (Hands me clothes and shoes and a kid in PJs)
She insisted on bringing these home yesterday (hands me three pieces of artwork they ripped off my walls)
She bit her sister last night. Can you talk to her about that?
and my favorite...
We decided to potty train last night (hands me a kid in wet underwear, a large bag of extra clothes, a jar of m&ms, and tells me that he stays dry if you put him on the potty every 10 minutes)

I have a class of 14, and I love every single one of them with my entire heart, but I am not their parent. I can't override poor decisions and discipline at home when the kid runs the household, I can't dress the kids every morning, and I can't devote my entire day to a toddler in underwear who has no bladder control and no clue what a potty is.

Every parent thinks that I exist only for their child. I wish that could be the case, but somewhere along the line, someone thought it would be a good idea to raise children in same-age groups of 10-20...so we have to do the best we can with what we have.

And just in case you think this PP teaches somewhere special, I'll say that this happens at our preschool all the time. I'm so frustrated by the shoe thing, you can't believe!

This exact thing also happens in smaller in-home daycare's too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can be selfish, lazy, clueless, or all of the above, and you need to anticipate that. You should have clarified in your instructions that the children cannot wear their costumes all day due to safety reasons.

She specifically asked for costumes to be brought in a bag. This is not nebulous or difficult to understand. This is all on the parent. Period.

You can have that attitude. Or you can have parents that actually listen to you.

It may be “all on the parent. Period.” But that is utterly beside the point. Teacher was complaining about an inconvenience to her. She would get better results with better communication.

I am not going to speculate, as some are, whether this parent is truly selfish, or clueless, or perhaps just has a difficult child, was behind on 100 assignments at work, has a parent with cancer all while going through a divorce, or whatever, and was just not going to fight this battle with her preschooler today. Without more context, a teacher’s instructions can sound arbitrary and, when weighed against other demands, not essential. Teachers need to communicate when and why things are essential.

No, just no. If the teacher gives a specific instruction, she doesn't need to provide a lengthy justification. And let's face it, if you make a lengthy email or flyer or whatever, most parents won't take the time to read it. Bring the costume in a bag for later is short, sweet, and pretty straightforward. Parents can ask for clarification if they don't understand an instruction or rule.

Stop rationalizing for parents who can't be bothered.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who doesn't understand why this is a big deal has never taught preschool. It's just another example of an entitled parent who believes the rules don't apply to her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I teach a class of 2 year olds, and I completely agree. On a daily basis, I have parents bring me their problems.
He wouldn't put his shoes on. Can you get him to?

He wouldn't get dressed today. (Hands me clothes and shoes and a kid in PJs)
She insisted on bringing these home yesterday (hands me three pieces of artwork they ripped off my walls)
She bit her sister last night. Can you talk to her about that?
and my favorite...
We decided to potty train last night (hands me a kid in wet underwear, a large bag of extra clothes, a jar of m&ms, and tells me that he stays dry if you put him on the potty every 10 minutes)

I have a class of 14, and I love every single one of them with my entire heart, but I am not their parent. I can't override poor decisions and discipline at home when the kid runs the household, I can't dress the kids every morning, and I can't devote my entire day to a toddler in underwear who has no bladder control and no clue what a potty is.

Every parent thinks that I exist only for their child. I wish that could be the case, but somewhere along the line, someone thought it would be a good idea to raise children in same-age groups of 10-20...so we have to do the best we can with what we have.

And just in case you think this PP teaches somewhere special, I'll say that this happens at our preschool all the time. I'm so frustrated by the shoe thing, you can't believe!

This exact thing also happens in smaller in-home daycare's too.

Yup, I'm not a teacher but am a parent and have seen many other parents do this exact same type of thing. I'm sort of a neurotic rule-follower, so I was totally blown away to see parents not following rules that the teacher clearly expressed to us, simply because it was a pain for them to say no to their kids -- like rules against bringing in outside toys (which my kid always asked for and I said no to, and then he would tell me other kids brought stuff in -- and I saw it for myself to be true). And I've definitely seen situations where parents expected the teachers to deal with a kid being in PJs or without shoes on, etc. I'm not a perfect parent AT ALL, but I wouldn't expect the teacher to deal with things like this for me.