How do you react to door-to-door solicitors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wasn't there a story about a woman who said something like "too close, too close" really loudly to a man who sat next to her on the metro and immediately changed seats. The guy thought she was being racist (she was white and he was black) and I think he punched or hit her or something like that. Lots of people were in the same car and I'm not sure if anyone did anything to help her.

Yeah, a couple of years ago I rode the metro from Union Station to Vienna (it's a loooooong ride for those of you who haven't done it) while sitting in front of a guy who barked the WHOLE way. Like a dog. My recollection was that there were only two other people on that car with me and, after swapping a couple of glances at each other, it was clear we all shared the same sentiment. Better to stay seated, stay quiet, and ignore the guy in the hopes that this obviously mentally ill person would not be provoked. To this day, my gut still tells me that was the right move...

He could have had tourrette's syndrome (sp) rather than a mental illness, but who knows, I wasn't there.

Perhaps this wasn't clear from my response, but I was there. And I know what tourette's is. If that's what it was I clearly would have said so. Being that I was there and all. SO I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. Sorry, but this is a major pet peeve of mine. I know you're trying to be one of those perfect people who tries to see the "good" in any situation and would NEVER make an erroneous assumption or generalization about a situation (of course not) -- but presuming that other people do so is its own form of assumption and judgment. And that double standard really annoys me because I see it all the time on DCUM.

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I said "I wasn't there" because I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. And i said it could have been tourette's syndrome not because I am a one of those perfect people who sees the "good" in any situation but because I had a friend in college with tourrette's and his symptom was barking like a dog. So you are the one making erroneous assumptions. Maybe you see that double standard all the time on DCUM because of the way you interpret other people's intentions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that you really don't owe anyone anything. I consider myself an extremely courteous, friendly person but am not going to risk some crazy person barging in and hurting my child just because I don't want to seem rude. So I won't answer the door, unless my husband is there. If they know I'm home, they know I'm home. Oh well.

I once took a self defense class and the instructor told us that women are easy targets because we are raised not to be impolite. So we stop for people who want directions, and even when we are grabbed by a stranger, may not react quickly because part of us deep down hates to make a scene and so we are held back from screaming right away.

He told me something I will never forget: if you are on the Metro, and some strange guy gets to close to you on purpose, etc., most women simply get up and move on as to not make a scene. You are basically letting the strange dude know you are that kind of person. He said the correct response is to basically go apeshit crazy and cause a scene. Yes, you may be embarrassed, but chances are, that person will be noticed and will move on - he's not going to bother with you because now a whole bunch of people on the train just noticed the two of you.

I was followed home once in a really terrible neighborhood and sure enough, I was afraid of being rude so instead of looping back around -- or even looking over my shoulder -- I let the guy follow me all the way up the steps and start shoving me in the door before I screamed. I didn't want him to think I thought ill of him just for walking behind me for a really long way. Luckily for me my (male) roommates saved me but if he had had a gun we'd all have been in trouble.

Glad it turned out okay for you, and hopefully you learned something about yourself (as a woman) that can help if you are ever in that situation again and need to scream.

What is so interesting to me is you hear in the news periodically about women who are grabbed coming out of Target, in the parking lot of a mall, thrown into their own or someone else's car, etc. in BROAD DAYLIGHT with plenty of people around and I always think, "Why didn't she scream bloody murder?" But I think there is something to be said for the theory that many women are sort of instinctually controlled and hold back for a second, and then it's too late. It only takes one second for someone to get you to a point where no one notices you.

[Anonymous]

Call the police. BUT DO NOT TELL THEM YOU ARE CALLING THE POLICE. They may retaliate. Sometimes it is difficult for us to think like a desperate, criminal mind. But really, isn't it better just to be safe?

Solicitors in most areas are supposed to have a license on them. Are you going to be that stupid and let them know who lives there, and then argue with them about a license which they most likely don't have? I doubt criminals register themselves in any law abiding fashion. HELLO?!?!?

What is so difficult about not opening the door?

If fewer of us open the door, it makes everyone safer in the long run.

This is a major metropolitn area. It is NOT the time to be stupid or to have a point to prove.

[Anonymous]

A few days ago, I had an @$$hole solicitor visit my doorstep. He said something about Obama's health care plan and I told him I wasn't interested. He then said, "Well, you better get interested." I told him I didn't support the plan and then he got very aggressive. He said "What part of it don't you support? Who do you think shouldn't have health care? Why don't you support health care for everyone?" At this point, I wanted to tell him to just drop dead and leave me alone but I grit my teeth and told him I didn't want to get into this. He then said, "Well, this is America and I dont' have to agree with you." What the heck? He invades my privacy and wastes my time and then he treats me like that?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I either answer and tell them I'm not interested, or I don't answer at all. Depends on my mood.

A 'No Solicitors' sign is tacky, IMO.

Good luck!

I could be mistaken, but I think if you have a "No Solicitors" sign, they aren't allowed to knock. As tacky as it may be, if you live in an area where there are tons of disruptions, then I would put the sign up!

[Anonymous]

I don't disagree with anyone who counsels not to open the door. You are not being "rude". But here is what I do:

I live in a pretty safe neighborhood, and while we do have solicitors, they are rare when I'm home alone with the kids.

I routinely open the door for kids who look like they're from our local high school, or anyone else I think I could overpower if I needed to.

I occasionally open to door for other people (usually non-profit/political types) who "look safe" to me -- yeah, I know that is subjective... but I trust my judgment. But-- I also have a dog (just big enough to be scary), and while he is a complete wimp, he always likes to poke his nose out the door at newcomers, and for someone who doesn't know him, it looks threatening. If its someone I don't know (i.e., not a high school kid type), I usually answer the door, block the dog (mostly to keep him from running out to lick the person, but they don't know that), give him a stern sounding "STAY!" and then walk outside and close the door behind me. I say something apologetically about, ", sorry, the dog isn't good with strangers". I listen for 30 seconds, and then cut the person off and tell them they can leave any literature with me if they want.

I know my approach is not fool proof, but I'm comfortable with it and it works for me. I like going outside because I live in a good neighborhood, and I figure if someone is going to attack me, they're going to be far less likely to do it on my doorstep where all sorts of people can see me. If I were an attacker, I'd want to get into someone's home (in private). It also puts the door (and the dog) in between them and my children. I have heard many times, that robbers/assailants are far less likely to choose a house with a dog, because they never know what they're going to get. They'd have to make a judgment call that it is worth opening my door and facing the dog... and I think most of them would rather just choose a different house.

[Anonymous]

Dogs are not foolproof. They can also be shot.

[Anonymous]

I have no problem with solicitors...My German Shepherd goes crazy if anyone knocks on the door. He is a sweet dog, but his ferocious bark scares people off in no time

[Anonymous]

PP here. Forgot to clarify that I don't open the door...

[Anonymous]

I prefer the "tacky" no solicitors sign to being a victim of crime - that SHOULD be a no brainer.

A dog is an excellent deterrent, but they can be distracted with a small bag of steak, too.

I often just wish people in this area had more COMMON SENSE to NOT be a target! This 'aint Mayberry!