My friend dresses like a slut.

[Anonymous]

My DD's best friends are twins and their 50+ mother dresses to accentuate her cleavage. No matter the occasion, school events, country club events, exercising on a cold day, she has the ladies right out there. In her case, she needs and receives male affirmation. One of her twins is following in her footsteps and dresses extremely provactively for a 15 year old, with dresses with slits to her hip bone, high heals, low cut tops. She is a gorgeous girl who does not need tondress like this to get attention but she loves it. My DD is closer to the more conservative twin who excels on the soccer field. I am probably a prude and keep my cleavage to myself but derive confidence from other accomplishments. I would be totally uncomfortable with all the attention but some people genuinely thrive on it.

[Anonymous]

I was like you OP, I met this woman who dressed very different from me (I dress DC-lawyer) and she is in an a-typical DC job. I knew I would never be her friend.

Turns out, she is the nicest, kindest, most wonderful person I know. And honestly, I realized I am the judgemental B for even caring that her pants were tight or shirts were low cut (and honestly, and 40 she can rock it!)

Is your friend a good person? Yes? Then take a lesson from what we tell our kids and don't judge the outside. Otherwise it really says more about you - then her.

[Anonymous]

+1K

Anonymous wrote:As for the word slutty, I work with words all day for a living, and I've done this for 25 years. And I like that word. Everyone is free to interpret it in any way they like, but when OP wrote "slutty" we all knew exactly what she meant, and we all got a picture in our heads. That's just good, descriptive writing. Let's face it, some clothing is slutty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'd like to go back to the intent of OP's question, because I had this situation and was also unsure how to deal with it.

Several people already addressed this- you deal with it or you stop hanging out. I don't know if you want to hear someone advise that you should tell your friend want to wear, or how her clothes make you feel, but that's not the right answer.

[Anonymous]

but what kind of reaction does the friend get from people around her when she dresses like this?
If it is favorable then she has no reason to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'd like to go back to the intent of OP's question, because I had this situation and was also unsure how to deal with it.

Several people already addressed this- you deal with it or you stop hanging out. I don't know if you want to hear someone advise that you should tell your friend want to wear, or how her clothes make you feel, but that's not the right answer.

When you go reply to a post made at 11pm and there have been two pages of replies since then, yes, I suppose this has now been addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was like you OP, I met this woman who dressed very different from me (I dress DC-lawyer) and she is in an a-typical DC job. I knew I would never be her friend.

Turns out, she is the nicest, kindest, most wonderful person I know. And honestly, I realized I am the judgemental B for even caring that her pants were tight or shirts were low cut (and honestly, and 40 she can rock it!)

Is your friend a good person? Yes? Then take a lesson from what we tell our kids and don't judge the outside. Otherwise it really says more about you - then her.

Good person? Very well could be, regardless of dress. It's what inside that counts. You're very naive though if you think that sexy vs tailored vs office attire isn't going to be judged for what it is. That's one reason schools have dress codes for kids and teachers. Deep cleavage and a short spandex skirt for a teacher at school? NOPE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was like you OP, I met this woman who dressed very different from me (I dress DC-lawyer) and she is in an a-typical DC job. I knew I would never be her friend.

Turns out, she is the nicest, kindest, most wonderful person I know. And honestly, I realized I am the judgemental B for even caring that her pants were tight or shirts were low cut (and honestly, and 40 she can rock it!)

Is your friend a good person? Yes? Then take a lesson from what we tell our kids and don't judge the outside. Otherwise it really says more about you - then her.

Okay for your kids' teachers at work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:but what kind of reaction does the friend get from people around her when she dresses like this?
If it is favorable then she has no reason to change.

Kinda depends on what you mean by favorable...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was like you OP, I met this woman who dressed very different from me (I dress DC-lawyer) and she is in an a-typical DC job. I knew I would never be her friend.

Turns out, she is the nicest, kindest, most wonderful person I know. And honestly, I realized I am the judgemental B for even caring that her pants were tight or shirts were low cut (and honestly, and 40 she can rock it!)

Is your friend a good person? Yes? Then take a lesson from what we tell our kids and don't judge the outside. Otherwise it really says more about you - then her.

Okay for your kids' teachers at work?

Why not? Signed a mom who finds nothing wrong with looking nice. Insecure women may have a problem though.

[Anonymous]

We need a photo to judge. You can crop her head out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was like you OP, I met this woman who dressed very different from me (I dress DC-lawyer) and she is in an a-typical DC job. I knew I would never be her friend.

Turns out, she is the nicest, kindest, most wonderful person I know. And honestly, I realized I am the judgemental B for even caring that her pants were tight or shirts were low cut (and honestly, and 40 she can rock it!)

Is your friend a good person? Yes? Then take a lesson from what we tell our kids and don't judge the outside. Otherwise it really says more about you - then her.

Okay for your kids' teachers at work?

Why not? Signed a mom who finds nothing wrong with looking nice. Insecure women may have a problem though.

Be sure and let us all know what school you think would allow this outfit! Lots of dads would want to know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was like you OP, I met this woman who dressed very different from me (I dress DC-lawyer) and she is in an a-typical DC job. I knew I would never be her friend.

Turns out, she is the nicest, kindest, most wonderful person I know. And honestly, I realized I am the judgemental B for even caring that her pants were tight or shirts were low cut (and honestly, and 40 she can rock it!)

Is your friend a good person? Yes? Then take a lesson from what we tell our kids and don't judge the outside. Otherwise it really says more about you - then her.

Okay for your kids' teachers at work?

Great. Now I have to go through the day with Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" running through my mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M4_Ommfvv0

[Anonymous]

Its just more social herding. OP is just trying to herd her friend back into the range of normal. We all do it, every day. heck, just look at all the "what do you think of this name for my child?" questions.

Three questions right now on this site:

- Should I put something on the invitation?
- What do you all think of same day crowns?
- How much are you planning to spend on Halloween candy?

All perfectly normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She cannot go anywhere without wearing something skintight - breasts out to there and skirts cut very short. All the time. She tends to bend over and squat alot.

She is nearing 50. She can still put this off but it's just that I would like to go somewhere with her without having her half undressed.

I've never said anything but others do.

I am not jealous - just want her to put something on. Advice?

You sound jealous.