Family conflict - Who gets dibs on the house for bday

[Anonymous]

OP, what I want to know is, do you and your wife know the gender already, or is the reveal for you too? You should make the birthday cake be the gender reveal cake, sing happy birthday once and then cut into it. Just kidding, SIL would probably have a tantrum.

[Anonymous]

Stop being such babies and celebrate together. What are you, like ten? Grow the fuck up.

[Anonymous]

How old is sister???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, you lost me at "gender reveal party."

OP, you are connected to far too many ME ME ME people.

+100

Not like you can raise a ruckus while your wife is pregnant (and it's cool that you're going with the flow), but seriously this is all a bunch of infantile nonsense.

Adult non-milestone birthday party turf battles? Gender reveal parties? This looks more like an episode of Teen Moms (I imagine) than a real grown up life.

I think OP may be withholding some information. I bet dollars to doughnuts that OP also cares about his own special days too. No one could be this surrounded by chance. Like flocks to like.

OP here. No, I don't have any special days I really care about. My wife is one of the most amazing people I've ever met and, while I agree the party is a little silly, if this is what makes her happy I'm happy to go along with it. SIL did a gender reveal party thing as well so maybe it's a tradition in their family.

The only information I'm withholding is that my side of the family can, at times, be really passive aggressive.

Maybe your sister is passive aggressively suggesting she'd rather celebrate her birthday with her own friends at home than travel for a gender reveal party, which is silly. Tell her it's no big deal if she doesn't come and that she can save her money/vacation time for when the BABY is actually here.

[Anonymous]

OP I haven't read the whole post but if I came all the way from the west to visit on my birthday with you I would not be loving having a gender reveal party with strangers.
Likewise if I traveled many hours in a car to meet with relatives for a silly baby party I would wonder why we were entertaining a sister who just wanted some personal time with her brother that she doesn't see often at the same time.
The two parties are not congruent.
Have a cake with your sis at a restaurant and let your other guests entertain MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One big party celebrating many events all together. The more the merrier. Done.

I hate that. It just means everyone is unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One big party celebrating many events all together. The more the merrier. Done.

I hate that. It just means everyone is unhappy.

Life is too short to be so high maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One big party celebrating many events all together. The more the merrier. Done.

I hate that. It just means everyone is unhappy.

Only the self-absorbed, miserable people will be unhappy.

People who are secure and loving will be happy to share many causes for celebration (not that a 38tj birthday is more than occasion for cards and flowers from spouse and kids).

These alleged adults blow my mind. When my child turned 6 she had two friends at her birthday party whose birthdays were the day before hers and the day after.

She insisted they blew out the candles with her and that the whole group sang Happy Birthday for all three. At six. At a party with a friend's borrowed Costco bouncy castle and a visiting "zoo" with bunnies and ducklings.

Not bragging about her; anyone with a generous heart would want to share joy with others.

[Anonymous]

Update OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To boil your post down more, to make sure I understand -- your and wife's families are each coming to town at the same time. Both families want to celebrate a birthday over the time that they are visiting. Instead of being adults and sharing a celebration, they/you are proposing that one side or another drive multiple hours to have cake out of sight of the other family.

That's crazy. Get a cake (two if you absolutely must) and sing happy birthday to both. In the same room.

OP here. Yeah, that's basically it although the pressure is coming from my sister, not MIL/FIL. Also, not for nothing, but the catalyst for the visit is the baby announcement party.

I like the idea of having the cake at the restaurant. That's an excellent idea and would solve all of our problems.

Personally, I'm with you guys on adult bdays and don't care about mine. Dinner out with DW and a hug/kiss and a happy birthday do it for me. Sis isn't used to sharing because my parents are out of state as are her husband's so they never have to deal with splitting time for holidays so it's easy for everything to be about her.

It's still nuts to have two dinners.

Are you announcing a pregnancy? Or gender reveal? Is the announcement a surprise?

[Anonymous]

Your sister needs a serious kick in the pants.

[Anonymous]

What if your inlaws come a few days before the gender reveal and you celebrate the birthday with them before your family arrives. And then your family stays a few days after the gender reveal (the inlaws leave) and you celebrate with them?

[Anonymous]

Oy vey. OP, you MUST post a full report after the fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, you lost me at "gender reveal party."

OP, you are connected to far too many ME ME ME people.

+100

Not like you can raise a ruckus while your wife is pregnant (and it's cool that you're going with the flow), but seriously this is all a bunch of infantile nonsense.

Adult non-milestone birthday party turf battles? Gender reveal parties? This looks more like an episode of Teen Moms (I imagine) than a real grown up life.

I think OP may be withholding some information. I bet dollars to doughnuts that OP also cares about his own special days too. No one could be this surrounded by chance. Like flocks to like.

OP here. No, I don't have any special days I really care about. My wife is one of the most amazing people I've ever met and, while I agree the party is a little silly, if this is what makes her happy I'm happy to go along with it. SIL did a gender reveal party thing as well so maybe it's a tradition in their family.

The only information I'm withholding is that my side of the family can, at times, be really passive aggressive.

Maybe your sister is passive aggressively suggesting she'd rather celebrate her birthday with her own friends at home than travel for a gender reveal party, which is silly. Tell her it's no big deal if she doesn't come and that she can save her money/vacation time for when the BABY is actually here.

This is the correct answer.

[Anonymous]

How do we know they were forced to come for a gender reveal party? While I think these are dumb, typical DCUM is acting like the sister is being dragged there. Maybe she wants to see her brother and SIL. If she doesn't, then she should stay home.