Quitting While on Maternity Leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

I'm far from a Bernie supporter. I simply don't believe that in the long term it will matter if she doesn't return friends om leave. Nothing to do with sticking it to the man but rather she only has two options - return to work at x date or quit. I find it interesting you jump to such extremes and make a call on my political leanings. It says something about you.

All op needs to do is graciously explain she needs to spend more time with the baby and won't be returning. She isn't so important that people will be talking about this for more than a week. Her work has already been reassigned anyway.

You almost seem obsessed with the fact she might not return to work.

And thats where we disagree. I've personally witnessed companies punish women who take leave and then don't return with bad references. And then treat every other women in the office as likely to do the same. The rest of your post is nonsensical. Are you the same poster who said I must be jealous? I stayed home myself for five years, and without incredibly strong references, would not have been able to come back at the level I did.

Women make up 50 percent of the workforce now. Having one woman quit her job is not going to result in an employer change their opinion of half of their workforce.

Most references are focused on the work you performed and not when you quit your job. Perhaps you weren't performing well and had to be more cognizant of behaving just so following your maternity leave.

Regardless stop acting like this is the 1950s and that women need to suck it up and return from their paltry unpaid leave because if not men will judge.

Good point, so many women using maternity leave in 1950s. Oh wait, they were all stuck at home being housewives. Get a grip on your history, pp.

They were told by others they need to stay home. Now this woman is being told she needs to go back to work for the good of mankind. Get it? Op needs to ask for what she wants and go for it. No apologies. There's nothing wrong with staying home with a young child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I"m a new poster and I think OP should do what works for her. What man thinks of what he wants to do in relation to other men? I'm pretty sure none!

+1

No worries, it will be the women who will judge the take leave and don't return the most harshly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

I'm far from a Bernie supporter. I simply don't believe that in the long term it will matter if she doesn't return friends om leave. Nothing to do with sticking it to the man but rather she only has two options - return to work at x date or quit. I find it interesting you jump to such extremes and make a call on my political leanings. It says something about you.

All op needs to do is graciously explain she needs to spend more time with the baby and won't be returning. She isn't so important that people will be talking about this for more than a week. Her work has already been reassigned anyway.

You almost seem obsessed with the fact she might not return to work.

And thats where we disagree. I've personally witnessed companies punish women who take leave and then don't return with bad references. And then treat every other women in the office as likely to do the same. The rest of your post is nonsensical. Are you the same poster who said I must be jealous? I stayed home myself for five years, and without incredibly strong references, would not have been able to come back at the level I did.

Women make up 50 percent of the workforce now. Having one woman quit her job is not going to result in an employer change their opinion of half of their workforce.

Most references are focused on the work you performed and not when you quit your job. Perhaps you weren't performing well and had to be more cognizant of behaving just so following your maternity leave.

Regardless stop acting like this is the 1950s and that women need to suck it up and return from their paltry unpaid leave because if not men will judge.

Good point, so many women using maternity leave in 1950s. Oh wait, they were all stuck at home being housewives. Get a grip on your history, pp.

They were told by others they need to stay home. Now this woman is being told she needs to go back to work for the good of mankind. Get it? Op needs to ask for what she wants and go for it. No apologies. There's nothing wrong with staying home with a young child.

, like part time or work at home to ease the transition.
You still don't get get it. Just quit when the baby's born if that is the plan. Don't ask you colleagues to do your work for you and your employer to keep your job open and then never return. It's extremely selfish and unprofessional. Op could easily ask for other accommodations, like part time or quit after a few months back.

[Anonymous]

This is just a lousy thing to do to your fellow employees who have to do all your work when you are gone, then wait for a replacement to be hired and trained and up to speed after you waltz in and quit during maternity leave.

You will also screw your self over, because no one will want to hire you because they will worried you will pull this same stunt again.

I had someone do this to me, and from then on, I hired men or older women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you owe them a heads up until you are positive that you don't want to return. Let them know as soon as you make that decision, but don't let them know while you are still contemplating it. If you do decide to go back, you will likely regret having let them into your period of indecision.

And good luck with whatever you choose!

Agreed! Think about how many people at any given time are thinking about leaving their jobs - do you think they are giving their bosses a heads up that they may want to leave??? No!! I don't understand why the burden should be on pregnant women/new mothers to be "fair" in a system that is inherently unfair to all workers, and to families.

+one million. if employers want it to stop happening, then support families. leaving a newborn at 2-3 months is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you owe them a heads up until you are positive that you don't want to return. Let them know as soon as you make that decision, but don't let them know while you are still contemplating it. If you do decide to go back, you will likely regret having let them into your period of indecision.

And good luck with whatever you choose!

Agreed! Think about how many people at any given time are thinking about leaving their jobs - do you think they are giving their bosses a heads up that they may want to leave??? No!! I don't understand why the burden should be on pregnant women/new mothers to be "fair" in a system that is inherently unfair to all workers, and to families.

+one million. if employers want it to stop happening, then support families. leaving a newborn at 2-3 months is crazy.

Exactly. Women NEED to start quitting and not coming back after their crappy unpaid leave for things to finally change. We are fifty percent of the population and no reason we should be treated like this in this day and age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

I'm far from a Bernie supporter. I simply don't believe that in the long term it will matter if she doesn't return from leave. Nothing to do with sticking it to the man but rather she only has two options - return to work at x date or quit. I find it interesting you jump to such extremes and make a call on my political leanings. It says something about you.

All op needs to do is graciously explain she needs to spend more time with the baby and won't be returning. She isn't so important that people will be talking about this for more than a week. Her work has already been reassigned anyway.

You almost seem obsessed with the fact she might not return to work.

And thats where we disagree. I've personally witnessed companies punish women who take leave and then don't return with bad references. And then treat every other women in the office as likely to do the same. The rest of your post is nonsensical. Are you the same poster who said I must be jealous? I stayed home myself for five years, and without incredibly strong references, would not have been able to come back at the level I did.

Fwiw that's actually illegal. Most reference checks are very formal and a quick phone call is made. Most people checking on references are going to be smart enough to know when someone providing a reference is bitter over losing an employee.

It's actually not illegal if they stick to the facts and do not defame them.


Hiving a bad reference could be a simple as refusing to give a reference or stating they would not hire them again.

You are not legally owed a good reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you owe them a heads up until you are positive that you don't want to return. Let them know as soon as you make that decision, but don't let them know while you are still contemplating it. If you do decide to go back, you will likely regret having let them into your period of indecision.

And good luck with whatever you choose!

Agreed! Think about how many people at any given time are thinking about leaving their jobs - do you think they are giving their bosses a heads up that they may want to leave??? No!! I don't understand why the burden should be on pregnant women/new mothers to be "fair" in a system that is inherently unfair to all workers, and to families.

+one million. if employers want it to stop happening, then support families. leaving a newborn at 2-3 months is crazy.

Exactly. Women NEED to start quitting and not coming back after their crappy unpaid leave for things to finally change. We are fifty percent of the population and no reason we should be treated like this in this day and age.

I don't think this would have the desired results. Unfortunately I think that would lead to fewer women being hired.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the responses, but I did it when I had my first. I was on STD, then quit while on leave. Thing is, over the past few years they've asked me to come back several times. Now that my child is in school I accepted a flexible position where I can work my own hours from home full-time. So it obviously didn't burn my bridge.

Stay in touch with your friends at work and when you're ready to go back, let them know and you may find yourself in the same position as me

[Anonymous]

Older woman with no kids here. I've seen women handle leave well and poorly. My basic view is

1. No woman or family really knows how it's going to go till the baby comes, so plans change.

2. Alternative schedules are fine if your work situation is compatible with them. But realize that even in a given job, a part-time schedule might not be compatible with some tasks or assignments.

3. Alternative schedules should not mean that everyone else has to adjust for you, or cover your work.

OP, good luck with your little one. If you decide to leave, my opinion is that you should inform your workplace as early (and of course as graciously) as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is just a lousy thing to do to your fellow employees who have to do all your work when you are gone, then wait for a replacement to be hired and trained and up to speed after you waltz in and quit during maternity leave.

You will also screw your self over, because no one will want to hire you because they will worried you will pull this same stunt again.

I had someone do this to me, and from then on, I hired men or older women.

You are discriminating. I wish I knew who you were so I could slam a lawsuit on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is just a lousy thing to do to your fellow employees who have to do all your work when you are gone, then wait for a replacement to be hired and trained and up to speed after you waltz in and quit during maternity leave.

You will also screw your self over, because no one will want to hire you because they will worried you will pull this same stunt again.

I had someone do this to me, and from then on, I hired men or older women.

You are discriminating. I wish I knew who you were so I could slam a lawsuit on you.

Obviously not anyone that important. I've never heard of a job where a manager "trains" a replacement for someone going on leave. Possible some sort of low level office work like data entry. Typically responsibilities are just transitioned for some time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you owe them a heads up until you are positive that you don't want to return. Let them know as soon as you make that decision, but don't let them know while you are still contemplating it. If you do decide to go back, you will likely regret having let them into your period of indecision.

And good luck with whatever you choose!

Agreed! Think about how many people at any given time are thinking about leaving their jobs - do you think they are giving their bosses a heads up that they may want to leave??? No!! I don't understand why the burden should be on pregnant women/new mothers to be "fair" in a system that is inherently unfair to all workers, and to families.

+one million. if employers want it to stop happening, then support families. leaving a newborn at 2-3 months is crazy.

Exactly. Women NEED to start quitting and not coming back after their crappy unpaid leave for things to finally change. We are fifty percent of the population and no reason we should be treated like this in this day and age.

I don't think this would have the desired results. Unfortunately I think that would lead to fewer women being hired.

Exactly, so many foolish posters here. Must be the same group that thinks voting for Trump sends a message to the democratic party.

All that happens is they wind up unemployed with mediocre references and businesses are less likely to hire other women of childbearing age. What a victory!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I"m a new poster and I think OP should do what works for her. What man thinks of what he wants to do in relation to other men? I'm pretty sure none!

+1

ME ME ME!
Hope none of you have daughters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Older woman with no kids here. I've seen women handle leave well and poorly. My basic view is

1. No woman or family really knows how it's going to go till the baby comes, so plans change.

2. Alternative schedules are fine if your work situation is compatible with them. But realize that even in a given job, a part-time schedule might not be compatible with some tasks or assignments.

3. Alternative schedules should not mean that everyone else has to adjust for you, or cover your work.

OP, good luck with your little one. If you decide to leave, my opinion is that you should inform your workplace as early (and of course as graciously) as possible.

Plus 1

No one will begrudge you for deciding to stay home. But it doesn't reflect well to do it at the last moment. Don't do it now but try to have it sorted out 2 to 4 weeks before your scheduled return