My sister just let her kids open the Christmas gifts from us

[Anonymous]

OP -- If you really are an MD -- you would know about all of the delayed gratification tests/studies and know it is actually good for children to be able to have delayed gratification. Your sister is doing her kids a favor.

Try to enjoy what you have and not take everything so seriously. We all have our weird quirks...variety is the spice of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, OP. My 4 yo dd was very excited to pick out and wrap a gift for her 8 yo cousin. We hadn't heard anything so asked if the box had made it there alright. SIL said "Oh, yeah. She was just so overloaded with gifts that we put it in the closet for another time" and we never heard anything further.

No, it's not the end of the world. But it was pretty disappointing to a long-distance little kid who was excited to see what her cousin thought of her gift... well I guess she did in a way. (SIL tends to be someone who needs to be the center of attention at every family gathering, loads her kid with gifts year-round, and if she remembers to send something to my dd - her dd's only cousin - it's late.)

The thing that you can't do is need your sister (or whoever) to meet your expectations in order to be happy. Sometimes our families let us down and it's ok to be hurt for a moment but a bit pointless to expect them to change.

Seems like you have 2 main choices. Send the gifts knowing her system and the reality of it, or stop sending gifts. I hope that you find what works for you.

OP here
Thank you, this is exactly what happened and how I felt, and exactly what I need to do.
Yours was much more eloquent and less angry than mine
I appreciate you sharing this with me

[Anonymous]

I would make some joke along the lines of "hey, next time to you convert to Orthodox Christianity, can I at least get a memo?" and then play along. There's no harm, just some oddity, in your sister's delayed Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- If you really are an MD -- you would know about all of the delayed gratification tests/studies and know it is actually good for children to be able to have delayed gratification. Your sister is doing her kids a favor.

Try to enjoy what you have and not take everything so seriously. We all have our weird quirks...variety is the spice of life.

What her sister is doing is teaching the kids to be control freaks, not learning to delay gratification.