My sister just let her kids open the Christmas gifts from us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it's weird of your sister to wait nearly a full month to open presents from you. I also agree that it's hard to explain that to your kids, and they won't really get it. But, it does seem like she really is suffering from an anxiety disorder, in which case I'd feel sorry for her.

Op here.
Yes, this.
It is just really hard when she makes normal things (like holidays, vacations, gifts, making dinner, picking out earrings) into a big dramatic "oh my god I have so much to do I just can't" and has no job, a giant house, no money issues, no health issues, and just chooses to over schedule, overdo, and overinflate.

You are right that I just need to "reset" my self into sympathizing about a disorder she has rather than silently scream "then why did you buy another dog?!"

[Anonymous]

So what's the problem? It's sweet that she wants her kids to thank you. It sounds like you're feeling the need to control things, too. I can't figure out what the issue is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does being a SAHM have to do with being a control freak?

Absolutely nothing! My SIL works full time and is a control freak. OP's just trolling SAHM for no reason. OP, I'm sorry your sister is doing this, but it's not the end of the world. You had the $$ to give her kids gifts and she has the computer access to share their gratitude.

This is truly a First World Problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it's weird of your sister to wait nearly a full month to open presents from you. I also agree that it's hard to explain that to your kids, and they won't really get it. But, it does seem like she really is suffering from an anxiety disorder, in which case I'd feel sorry for her.

Op here.
Yes, this.
It is just really hard when she makes normal things (like holidays, vacations, gifts, making dinner, picking out earrings) into a big dramatic "oh my god I have so much to do I just can't" and has no job, a giant house, no money issues, no health issues, and just chooses to over schedule, overdo, and overinflate.

You are right that I just need to "reset" my self into sympathizing about a disorder she has rather than silently scream "then why did you buy another dog?!"

Eek. She does sound annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does not strike me as a big deal. Why is it a big deal?

They were CHRISTMAS presents and today is JAN 21. Do you get it now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it's weird of your sister to wait nearly a full month to open presents from you. I also agree that it's hard to explain that to your kids, and they won't really get it. But, it does seem like she really is suffering from an anxiety disorder, in which case I'd feel sorry for her.

Op here.
Yes, this.
It is just really hard when she makes normal things (like holidays, vacations, gifts, making dinner, picking out earrings) into a big dramatic "oh my god I have so much to do I just can't" and has no job, a giant house, no money issues, no health issues, and just chooses to over schedule, overdo, and overinflate.

You are right that I just need to "reset" my self into sympathizing about a disorder she has rather than silently scream "then why did you buy another dog?!"

I'd say do neither. Just detach your reactions. It isn't worth the energy. (I agree though your sister takes it to the extreme.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does being a SAHM have to do with being a control freak?

Absolutely nothing! My SIL works full time and is a control freak. OP's just trolling SAHM for no reason. OP, I'm sorry your sister is doing this, but it's not the end of the world. You had the $$ to give her kids gifts and she has the computer access to share their gratitude.

This is truly a First World Problem.

OP here. I was a SAHM for years and am now a part timer.

I thought it was relevant because, for example,
I have a ton of sympathy for my coworkers (ER docs and nurses) who scramble to juggle holidays stress,
Covering vacations, out of town guests and their overnight nannies there, etc.
Working 40-60 hour work weeks does allow one to say "how am I going to get all these wreaths on the Windows" with a little more credibility versus someone who is a SAHM to 8 and 10 year olds
.
Her kids are 8 and 10, mine are the preschooler's.
It's a little much!

[Anonymous]

My mom was a SAHM and was a bit like this, gets overwhelmed easily. I think having a tiny bit of compassion can help without letting yourself get subsumed into their mindview. Just keep it positive. like hey, bright side is your kids will probably appreciate the gifts more since they are not opening them in the midst of the rest of the Christmas chaos. And if you're snowed in, a new toy or game or book could be a nice diversion for the preschool attention span.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it's weird of your sister to wait nearly a full month to open presents from you. I also agree that it's hard to explain that to your kids, and they won't really get it. But, it does seem like she really is suffering from an anxiety disorder, in which case I'd feel sorry for her.

Op here.
Yes, this.
It is just really hard when she makes normal things (like holidays, vacations, gifts, making dinner, picking out earrings) into a big dramatic "oh my god I have so much to do I just can't" and has no job, a giant house, no money issues, no health issues, and just chooses to over schedule, overdo, and overinflate.

You are right that I just need to "reset" my self into sympathizing about a disorder she has rather than silently scream "then why did you buy another dog?!"

What, exactly does that have anything to do with a possible anxiety disorder? You do realize disorders don't give a damn where you live, how much you make etc. right?

Maybe dogs are good for her.

Do the face time when you have a chance. Maybe your sister isn't the only one with a problem. Perhaps she over schedules and overdoes to try to be "normal."

I can tell you that holidays and vacations can be very overwhelming. If she really does have a problem with making dinner or deciding on earrings then perhaps you should gently suggest she get some help. Unless of course those examples were you overinflating things.

[Anonymous]

I spread out gifts to the kids at Christmas bc they get so much from relatives - the kids actually appreciate/play with the gifts much more rather than having the gifts get lost in the crowd if we dole them out over a few weeks. It's not such a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does being a SAHM have to do with being a control freak?

Absolutely nothing! My SIL works full time and is a control freak. OP's just trolling SAHM for no reason. OP, I'm sorry your sister is doing this, but it's not the end of the world. You had the $$ to give her kids gifts and she has the computer access to share their gratitude.

This is truly a First World Problem.

OP here. I was a SAHM for years and am now a part timer.

I thought it was relevant because, for example,
I have a ton of sympathy for my coworkers (ER docs and nurses) who scramble to juggle holidays stress,
Covering vacations, out of town guests and their overnight nannies there, etc.
Working 40-60 hour work weeks does allow one to say "how am I going to get all these wreaths on the Windows" with a little more credibility versus someone who is a SAHM to 8 and 10 year olds
.
Her kids are 8 and 10, mine are the preschooler's.
It's a little much!

If your kids are preschoolers, how were you a SAHM for "years"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it's weird of your sister to wait nearly a full month to open presents from you. I also agree that it's hard to explain that to your kids, and they won't really get it. But, it does seem like she really is suffering from an anxiety disorder, in which case I'd feel sorry for her.

Op here.
Yes, this.
It is just really hard when she makes normal things (like holidays, vacations, gifts, making dinner, picking out earrings) into a big dramatic "oh my god I have so much to do I just can't" and has no job, a giant house, no money issues, no health issues, and just chooses to over schedule, overdo, and overinflate.

You are right that I just need to "reset" my self into sympathizing about a disorder she has rather than silently scream "then why did you buy another dog?!"

What, exactly does that have anything to do with a possible anxiety disorder? You do realize disorders don't give a damn where you live, how much you make etc. right?

Maybe dogs are good for her.

Do the face time when you have a chance. Maybe your sister isn't the only one with a problem. Perhaps she over schedules and overdoes to try to be "normal."

I can tell you that holidays and vacations can be very overwhelming. If she really does have a problem with making dinner or deciding on earrings then perhaps you should gently suggest she get some help. Unless of course those examples were you overinflating things.

So now drama queens and people who overschedule themselves and their kids, only to do the martyr "I am just so busy! My life is soo crazy between Aidens travel soccer, Kumon, viola lessons and decorating the guests rooms that I just CANNOT find the time to finish the menu for the annual Christmas party. I don't even know if our new theatre is going to be hooked up in time,
They are so behind schedule . The lady from Nordstrom won't call me back for the final dress shopping appointment and I am so overwhelmed, I hate the holidays" are actually suffering from a mental health issue.

[Anonymous]

"She wants to FaceTime with us tomorrow so her kids can say "thank you" to my kids for the gifts."
That is really nice of her and a good example for the kids.

"They don't live near any area affected by snow, this is just her crazy control and rules. She is a SAHM in a 4K sq foot house who gets stressed and overwhelmed by the holidays (Her words)"
What is controlling? You left out what her rules are. Holidays can be stressful and overwhelming. No matter what size house you live in or how you define yourself.

"My kids, who picked out very simple and small gifts for their cousins, are 4 and 5 and have completely forgotten about Christmas and what they picked out for them."
I doubt 4 and 5 year olds have completely forgotten about Christmas, but just in case they have talking with their cousins tomorrow will remind them

"This should be fun. She is a stickler for manners and is in a tizzy that we were not available today and it's very important that they thank us."
It does sound like fun. Cousins should be close I am a stickler for manners too, polite society is a nicety we are losing. I think it is very important that children learn to show gratitude.

"I'm doing cash in an envelope from now on."
Cash is nice. I usually recommend that for teens on up. I am sure a "stickler for manners" will still be sure to thank you though.





Seriously OP we get it that you dislike your sister who SAHMs and lives in a 4000sf house. Take a breath and suck it up for your children and nieces/nephews.

[Anonymous]

Someone sounds really jealous and bitter about their sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does being a SAHM have to do with being a control freak?

Absolutely nothing! My SIL works full time and is a control freak. OP's just trolling SAHM for no reason. OP, I'm sorry your sister is doing this, but it's not the end of the world. You had the $$ to give her kids gifts and she has the computer access to share their gratitude.

This is truly a First World Problem.

OP here. I was a SAHM for years and am now a part timer.

I thought it was relevant because, for example,
I have a ton of sympathy for my coworkers (ER docs and nurses) who scramble to juggle holidays stress,
Covering vacations, out of town guests and their overnight nannies there, etc.
Working 40-60 hour work weeks does allow one to say "how am I going to get all these wreaths on the Windows" with a little more credibility versus someone who is a SAHM to 8 and 10 year olds
.
Her kids are 8 and 10, mine are the preschooler's.
It's a little much!

If your kids are preschoolers, how were you a SAHM for "years"?

?? They are 3 and 4, almost 5, so I was home for 5 years (miscarriage, pregnancy and bedrest so stopped working 5 years ago) and have been back part tkme for almost a year. It's a hospital schedule so full time can be 3 nights, or a weekend. I am one of those odd ones who could technically be a SAHM during the week and considered a full time employee working Fri night to Sunday.
Are we good?