12 year old son hasn't started puberty yet

[Anonymous]

I dated a guy in high school whose mother used to hang around the house naked after work. It embarrassed him a little -- mostly when friends came over, but otherwise, it didn't bother him.

I don't think that a single mother seeing her son naked is any cause for concern. When her son wants privacy, he will ask for it.

Some of you are really cuckoo about this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even in our all girl dorm no one walked to the communal showers naked. No one. Unless she was extremely drunk that is.

My roommates walked around in different states of dress and sometimes the had to get necked in our room to get dresses. Gasp!

[Anonymous]

If you are seeing your 12 year old naked that is likely child abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even in our all girl dorm no one walked to the communal showers naked. No one. Unless she was extremely drunk that is.

My roommates walked around in different states of dress and sometimes the had to get necked in our room to get dresses. Gasp!

Well, duh. Yeah "In YOUR room". Not "Down the hallway". See the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated a guy in high school whose mother used to hang around the house naked after work. It embarrassed him a little -- mostly when friends came over, but otherwise, it didn't bother him.

I don't think that a single mother seeing her son naked is any cause for concern. When her son wants privacy, he will ask for it.

Some of you are really cuckoo about this!

She was a weirdo. I'll bet her son was embarrassed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even in our all girl dorm no one walked to the communal showers naked. No one. Unless she was extremely drunk that is.

My roommates walked around in different states of dress and sometimes the had to get necked in our room to get dresses. Gasp!

Well, duh. Yeah "In YOUR room". Not "Down the hallway". See the difference?

No, you mean if she is naked in front of me in our hallway, she is more naked than when she is naked in our bedroom.

Yea, no difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Amazing that this thread got derailed like this. I caught a few glimpses of my son after he hit puberty (running by from bedroom to bathroom when he didn't know I was upstairs cleaning). Not a common occurrence but no big deal either. I could certainly see by a 1 second look that he'd gone through a lot of changes with puberty.

I'm astonished too.

[Anonymous]

God forbid any of you meet a naturist family. I know several. All perfectly normal and see each other naked all the time. Only puritanical Americans cannot disassociate nudity and sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even in our all girl dorm no one walked to the communal showers naked. No one. Unless she was extremely drunk that is.

What does this have to do with anything? We are talking about pre-pubescent kids walking around from shower to bedroom in their own home. That is NOT the same as an 18 year old woman walking around other 18-21 year old women in a dorm.

I used to be shocked when my dh would tell me how comfortable men in the gym locker room are walking around nude after their shower, because most women do not. I wouldn't be shocked to hear it now that I've had three sons and see that boys tend to be much less modest than girls. I can't believe anyone who has lived with a man hasn't experienced this.

My sons use the shower in my bathroom and they may stop to watch something that catches their eye on the TV in the bedroom while they're drying off. Or about to get dressed. Or to ask me where they can find some clean underwear.

Some of you act like there is some sort of sexual vibe going on with this kind of normal family behavior. And again, do you have boys???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm honestly shocked at how many replies are just people shocked that I saw my son's genitalia.

You really should not be looking anymore. Just FYI.

NP here. I am also shocked by how people are shocked about this. I have a similarly aged son, and I am supposed to monitor him to see if he needs intervention for precocious puberty. Neither him nor me are fazed by it or feel awkward by it. I think it all depends on how you approach the human anatomy and health. You can either shame your children, or you can be clinical about it. Monitoring growth and health is not sexual - you can do it without making a production of it . The child is still young enough that the parents have to be vigilant. It is not that it is an adult offspring and you are checking the size of their testicles.

BTW - after my delivery, my mom took care of me. If I apply the logic of the pearl clutchers, it would be horrifying that my mom saw my body parts.

The doctor cant monitor him?

Yes, the Dr. (ped endo) monitors him once in 4 months. I am supposed to report to him if I see some very specific changes. However, the point is not that I am monitoring for some medical reason, the point is that 12 is still a young child and if parents see them naked it if not a big deal. I think only people who have weird family dynamics would think too much about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm honestly shocked at how many replies are just people shocked that I saw my son's genitalia.

You really should not be looking anymore. Just FYI.

NP here. I am also shocked by how people are shocked about this. I have a similarly aged son, and I am supposed to monitor him to see if he needs intervention for precocious puberty. Neither him nor me are fazed by it or feel awkward by it. I think it all depends on how you approach the human anatomy and health. You can either shame your children, or you can be clinical about it. Monitoring growth and health is not sexual - you can do it without making a production of it . The child is still young enough that the parents have to be vigilant. It is not that it is an adult offspring and you are checking the size of their testicles.

BTW - after my delivery, my mom took care of me. If I apply the logic of the pearl clutchers, it would be horrifying that my mom saw my body parts.

You are disgusting.

PP, seek help because there is something very messed up in your family. Sexual abuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God forbid any of you meet a naturist family. I know several. All perfectly normal and see each other naked all the time. Only puritanical Americans cannot disassociate nudity and sex.

We're a German family here with the embassy and I'm laughing at this. This has been so amusing. I think American women might just be as weird about sexuality as the Japanese. You all sexualize everything, now you sexualize your boys heading into puberty. What a strange culture! We don't equate the naked bodies of our children with sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God forbid any of you meet a naturist family. I know several. All perfectly normal and see each other naked all the time. Only puritanical Americans cannot disassociate nudity and sex.

We're a German family here with the embassy and I'm laughing at this. This has been so amusing. I think American women might just be as weird about sexuality as the Japanese. You all sexualize everything, now you sexualize your boys heading into puberty. What a strange culture! We don't equate the naked bodies of our children with sex.

Having lived and worked in Germany, France, and the Netherlands: I know exactly how you feel. Most of the people who post here are whack job insane and appear like Tea Party members to the rest of the sane world.

[Anonymous]

Can we please get back to my original question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can we please get back to my original question?

That has been answered many, many times.
Would you like an outline?

1. From what you described, your son is developing normally.

2. Boys reach puberty at different rates.

3. If you are concerned talk to his doctor.

4. A book on development will be useful for yourself and your son.


Not sure what else you need to discuss.