Any women here who actually LIKE working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

Wow, are you smug. I'm a WOHM but used to be a SAHM. While I enjoy my current career, I can honestly say that the most meaningful time of my life were the eight years I stayed home with my kids. My experience is completely different than yours in that all of the women I work with would trade their careers for being at home with their kids any day. We've had many conversations about this very subject, and those who never stayed home with their kids deeply regret it now.

Guess what: choosing to be a SAHM, either temporarily or permanently, is a worthwhile goal. When I was at home, our family ran smoothly and everyone was happy and calm. The kids were never hustled out of the house at the crack of dawn and left in daycare or with a nanny for all hours. I will be forever grateful that their childhood was marked not by a blur of frantic childcare juggling, but steady, consistent care from a parent - and I will be forever grateful that I got to be that parent.

Maybe you should check your superiority complex and realize that your life choices are meaningless to others as well. Good thing we can all do what's right for our own families rather than trying to impress bitter people like yourself.

I'm not smug, bitter or have a superiority complex simply because I think differently than you do. Your insults do not make you right, they just make you kind of ugly. So you think choosing to stay at home is a worthwhile goal. Good for you. I think it is a risky choice and basically irresponsible. Husbands can become disabled, die (which is objectively a horrible thing no one would want to wish on anyone), or leave. Objectively speaking, this would have devastating consequences on a SAHM's quality of life (except, perhaps for the very, very rich) and therefore, is a risky choice for any able bodied adult who can support themselves and their families.

You give a passionate defense of SAHM for a time. I'm glad it worked for you. I didn't comment on women like you. I don't respect women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM. You do. Fine, we feel differently. I do not feel the need to insult them as you felt the need to insult me. This is why I say their decisions are meaningless to me. We do agree in that my choices are equally meaningless to them. They don't need my respect. They're calculating their risk, maybe, and living their lives. Go them. But I still think it's an irresponsible choice and living off another person is risky and irresponsible. Big deal. They don't care. However, I know more than one SAHM whose choice ended up making their life difficult and think they should have counted on self sufficiency because it's hard to see people put all their eggs in one basket and see that basket break.

What I'm tired of reading on this board is that there is something about SAH that makes a person a better parent than one that WOH. IRL, I know SAHMs and WOHMs and SAHDs and WOHDs, and guess what, they're all great parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my job! I am a researcher and I have tons of freedom. I love my kids, too, but I was working in my hospital bed the day after a C-section while my newborn slept. That's the way I want it. I don't make a ton, but I make enough, $150k/year with extremely good benefits.

I love my kids who are an infant and preschooler but I simply could not stay home with them -- I'd go crazy. I can afford a great nanny, and for the preschooler to go to morning preschool so that makes it easier to work, honestly, as I feel that my kids are probably happier,stimulated and safe with a great nanny than they would be with me or DH who would both be miserable staying at home.

What kind of researcher? I'm also a researcher (policy think tank) but make about half that with 13 years experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

Wow, are you smug. I'm a WOHM but used to be a SAHM. While I enjoy my current career, I can honestly say that the most meaningful time of my life were the eight years I stayed home with my kids. My experience is completely different than yours in that all of the women I work with would trade their careers for being at home with their kids any day. We've had many conversations about this very subject, and those who never stayed home with their kids deeply regret it now.

Guess what: choosing to be a SAHM, either temporarily or permanently, is a worthwhile goal. When I was at home, our family ran smoothly and everyone was happy and calm. The kids were never hustled out of the house at the crack of dawn and left in daycare or with a nanny for all hours. I will be forever grateful that their childhood was marked not by a blur of frantic childcare juggling, but steady, consistent care from a parent - and I will be forever grateful that I got to be that parent.

Maybe you should check your superiority complex and realize that your life choices are meaningless to others as well. Good thing we can all do what's right for our own families rather than trying to impress bitter people like yourself.

I'm not smug, bitter or have a superiority complex simply because I think differently than you do. Your insults do not make you right, they just make you kind of ugly. So you think choosing to stay at home is a worthwhile goal. Good for you. I think it is a risky choice and basically irresponsible. Husbands can become disabled, die (which is objectively a horrible thing no one would want to wish on anyone), or leave. Objectively speaking, this would have devastating consequences on a SAHM's quality of life (except, perhaps for the very, very rich) and therefore, is a risky choice for any able bodied adult who can support themselves and their families.

You give a passionate defense of SAHM for a time. I'm glad it worked for you. I didn't comment on women like you. I don't respect women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM. You do. Fine, we feel differently. I do not feel the need to insult them as you felt the need to insult me. This is why I say their decisions are meaningless to me. We do agree in that my choices are equally meaningless to them. They don't need my respect. They're calculating their risk, maybe, and living their lives. Go them. But I still think it's an irresponsible choice and living off another person is risky and irresponsible. Big deal. They don't care. However, I know more than one SAHM whose choice ended up making their life difficult and think they should have counted on self sufficiency because it's hard to see people put all their eggs in one basket and see that basket break.

What I'm tired of reading on this board is that there is something about SAH that makes a person a better parent than one that WOH. IRL, I know SAHMs and WOHMs and SAHDs and WOHDs, and guess what, they're all great parents.

Being a hands on parent a couple hours a day and on the weekends as a team (both parents available, or every other weekend parent of divorced) is an entirely different kind of parenting than 12 hour days 1:1 with your children.
Maybe "great" isn't the right word, and obviously it's referring to the 0-5 years, but I do think it takes a tremendous amount of work and dedication to be the primary irreplaceable hands on 1:1 parent providing care day in and day out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my job! I am a researcher and I have tons of freedom. I love my kids, too, but I was working in my hospital bed the day after a C-section while my newborn slept. That's the way I want it. I don't make a ton, but I make enough, $150k/year with extremely good benefits.

I love my kids who are an infant and preschooler but I simply could not stay home with them -- I'd go crazy. I can afford a great nanny, and for the preschooler to go to morning preschool so that makes it easier to work, honestly, as I feel that my kids are probably happier,stimulated and safe with a great nanny than they would be with me or DH who would both be miserable staying at home.

What kind of researcher? I'm also a researcher (policy think tank) but make about half that with 13 years experience.

I am an engineering professor. I manage a large group with about a million dollar annual budget and teach. It is a lot of work but the highs of discovery and seeing my PhD students mature into great minds make it worth it.

[Anonymous]

I love working, but that wasn't always the case. I took 6 months maternity leave with each child and really debated going back both times. I didn't like my job at all, but stuck with it because it was flexible. Fast forward, DH's company went bankrupt and we lost both the majority of our wealth (on paper at least) and his relatively high income. My working suddenly became non-optional. I decided to "lean in" and left my mommy-track job for something a lot more challenging because I needed to increase my income. A few years in, I absolutely love my job and the feeling of accomplishment I get from it. We're getting to a point where DH is back on track and we won't need my income but I can't imagine quitting.

I have to say though, that I would have struggled with a job as intense as mine when my kids were younger. I feel grateful that I only had to work in PT, non-stressful job when I was juggling small kids. They're busy with school, sports and activities so I don't feel I miss out on as much as I would have when they were little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my job! I am a researcher and I have tons of freedom. I love my kids, too, but I was working in my hospital bed the day after a C-section while my newborn slept. That's the way I want it. I don't make a ton, but I make enough, $150k/year with extremely good benefits.

I love my kids who are an infant and preschooler but I simply could not stay home with them -- I'd go crazy. I can afford a great nanny, and for the preschooler to go to morning preschool so that makes it easier to work, honestly, as I feel that my kids are probably happier,stimulated and safe with a great nanny than they would be with me or DH who would both be miserable staying at home.

What kind of researcher? I'm also a researcher (policy think tank) but make about half that with 13 years experience.

+1 I'm a Ph.D. with 14 years experience and make $95k. I'd be living the high life with 150k!

But in answer to OP's bizarre question: I'm a woman who loves my work. I went into a field I have a passion for. Haven't gotten bored yet.

[Anonymous]

I hate working because I'm lazy, and would generally rather read, eat or sleep that work.

But I hate not working because my work is actually meaningful and interesting, and I'd feel like shit if I didn't do it. When I've done good work I feel happy and proud. My work brings me respect, recognition and satisfaction.

I think we're here on earth to do something to make the world a little better and more just, not just to raise kids who will grow up to raise kids who will grow up to raise kids. Also, I was brought up by a single mother and can't imagine ever being financially dependent on a man for my livelihood and that of my children. I love my husband and he does fine but earning a good income is part of my sense of self-worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

Wow, are you smug. I'm a WOHM but used to be a SAHM. While I enjoy my current career, I can honestly say that the most meaningful time of my life were the eight years I stayed home with my kids. My experience is completely different than yours in that all of the women I work with would trade their careers for being at home with their kids any day. We've had many conversations about this very subject, and those who never stayed home with their kids deeply regret it now.

Guess what: choosing to be a SAHM, either temporarily or permanently, is a worthwhile goal. When I was at home, our family ran smoothly and everyone was happy and calm. The kids were never hustled out of the house at the crack of dawn and left in daycare or with a nanny for all hours. I will be forever grateful that their childhood was marked not by a blur of frantic childcare juggling, but steady, consistent care from a parent - and I will be forever grateful that I got to be that parent.

Maybe you should check your superiority complex and realize that your life choices are meaningless to others as well. Good thing we can all do what's right for our own families rather than trying to impress bitter people like yourself.

I'm not smug, bitter or have a superiority complex simply because I think differently than you do. Your insults do not make you right, they just make you kind of ugly. So you think choosing to stay at home is a worthwhile goal. Good for you. I think it is a risky choice and basically irresponsible. Husbands can become disabled, die (which is objectively a horrible thing no one would want to wish on anyone), or leave. Objectively speaking, this would have devastating consequences on a SAHM's quality of life (except, perhaps for the very, very rich) and therefore, is a risky choice for any able bodied adult who can support themselves and their families.

You give a passionate defense of SAHM for a time. I'm glad it worked for you. I didn't comment on women like you. I don't respect women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM. You do. Fine, we feel differently. I do not feel the need to insult them as you felt the need to insult me. This is why I say their decisions are meaningless to me. We do agree in that my choices are equally meaningless to them. They don't need my respect. They're calculating their risk, maybe, and living their lives. Go them. But I still think it's an irresponsible choice and living off another person is risky and irresponsible. Big deal. They don't care. However, I know more than one SAHM whose choice ended up making their life difficult and think they should have counted on self sufficiency because it's hard to see people put all their eggs in one basket and see that basket break.

What I'm tired of reading on this board is that there is something about SAH that makes a person a better parent than one that WOH. IRL, I know SAHMs and WOHMs and SAHDs and WOHDs, and guess what, they're all great parents.

Being a hands on parent a couple hours a day and on the weekends as a team (both parents available, or every other weekend parent of divorced) is an entirely different kind of parenting than 12 hour days 1:1 with your children.
Maybe "great" isn't the right word, and obviously it's referring to the 0-5 years, but I do think it takes a tremendous amount of work and dedication to be the primary irreplaceable hands on 1:1 parent providing care day in and day out.

Absolutely agree.

[Anonymous]

I enjoy my job and the network I've built since I graduated college and worked in the same industry. But I especially like the 30k going into my 401k each year and the 17k going into my lump sum pension. My mom was a sahm and now I see how she'd be so much better off with retirement other than just my dad's. I keep telling myself I need to stick it out at least ten more years.

[Anonymous]

I love my job and bring in almost 50% of our HHI. My mom was a SAHM and my parents will maybe retire in their late 60's (if they're lucky, house still won't be paid off since they refied recently). On the flip side I'll be able to retire at 55, we can pay of DD's education/wedding without batting an eye, and potentially help her with a down payment for her house.

But money benefits aside, I love what I do. I'm in tech, and really am a geek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

Wow, are you smug. I'm a WOHM but used to be a SAHM. While I enjoy my current career, I can honestly say that the most meaningful time of my life were the eight years I stayed home with my kids. My experience is completely different than yours in that all of the women I work with would trade their careers for being at home with their kids any day. We've had many conversations about this very subject, and those who never stayed home with their kids deeply regret it now.

Guess what: choosing to be a SAHM, either temporarily or permanently, is a worthwhile goal. When I was at home, our family ran smoothly and everyone was happy and calm. The kids were never hustled out of the house at the crack of dawn and left in daycare or with a nanny for all hours. I will be forever grateful that their childhood was marked not by a blur of frantic childcare juggling, but steady, consistent care from a parent - and I will be forever grateful that I got to be that parent.

Maybe you should check your superiority complex and realize that your life choices are meaningless to others as well. Good thing we can all do what's right for our own families rather than trying to impress bitter people like yourself.

I'm not smug, bitter or have a superiority complex simply because I think differently than you do. Your insults do not make you right, they just make you kind of ugly. So you think choosing to stay at home is a worthwhile goal. Good for you. I think it is a risky choice and basically irresponsible. Husbands can become disabled, die (which is objectively a horrible thing no one would want to wish on anyone), or leave. Objectively speaking, this would have devastating consequences on a SAHM's quality of life (except, perhaps for the very, very rich) and therefore, is a risky choice for any able bodied adult who can support themselves and their families.

You give a passionate defense of SAHM for a time. I'm glad it worked for you. I didn't comment on women like you. I don't respect women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM. You do. Fine, we feel differently. I do not feel the need to insult them as you felt the need to insult me. This is why I say their decisions are meaningless to me. We do agree in that my choices are equally meaningless to them. They don't need my respect. They're calculating their risk, maybe, and living their lives. Go them. But I still think it's an irresponsible choice and living off another person is risky and irresponsible. Big deal. They don't care. However, I know more than one SAHM whose choice ended up making their life difficult and think they should have counted on self sufficiency because it's hard to see people put all their eggs in one basket and see that basket break.

What I'm tired of reading on this board is that there is something about SAH that makes a person a better parent than one that WOH. IRL, I know SAHMs and WOHMs and SAHDs and WOHDs, and guess what, they're all great parents.

Boy, are you a hypocrite. You accuse me of insulting you after you throw out insults of your own in your first post. Implying that SAHMs "rely on a man to support them" and that you "don't have much respect" for women who choose to be SAHMs (for however long - really, none of your business). Women who SAH are not "living off another person." They are an invaluable part of the parenting team. It's incredible to me that people pay such lip service to the childcare providers who take care of your children, but see no hypocrisy in snottily dismissing women who choose to care for their own children. Imagine that - what a novel idea.

So, to be clear, you absolutely did feel the need to insult women who SAH indefinitely, as if somehow you know better than they what works best for their families. I suggest you stick to running your own life and refrain from judging people you've never met, who make choices that are different from your own.

[Anonymous]

I adore my job. I quit a high powered IT consulting position to become a middle school teacher, and I couldn't be happier with the decision (well, the money part sucks, but the day to day job is rewarding enough to make up for it).

I feel like I get to experience being a SAHM for 2 months each summer, and during that time my brain turns to mush and I am falling apart. For me, being home is physically challenging, but not intellectually. (Of course, my kid is 2--I realize it will likely change as he grows!) Each fall when school starts I am excited to go back and dissect data and come up with strategies.

[Anonymous]

My job is my passion. I'm a dancer and artist and teach both for a living. I look forward to going to work as much as I look forward to coming home to my children.

[Anonymous]

I'm a college professor and I love my job. Don't always love my colleagues or my students but I love being able to look back and see that we now know more about something than we did ten years ago and knowing that I was a part of that. I hope that my daughters will experience the same joy in their careers.

[Anonymous]

Me. I am a social worker. I love it - it is a huge part of my identity - along with being a wife and mother.