Any women here who actually LIKE working?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there any women here who actually like working and want to actively pursue and grow their career despite having children? Does your husband's income affect this attitude?

If so, what do you do? Why does it bring you so much fulfillment?

Divorced mom of two, engaged. Worked since age 12 and an admitted workaholic. Stayed home briefly with each infant and then worked 1 full time job, plus 1-2 part-time jobs for years. At one point, after my divorce, I was working 60 hours a week outside the home despite a toddler. I do regret that.

I'm a teacher and I love 90% of my job. Not a huge fan of helicopter parents or the endless rounds of HSTs, but teaching the field I'm passionate about and working with quirky 12 year olds? Yeah, I like that very much. This year, my fiancé "made" me cut back on work hours. I no longer sponsor an after school club and don't tutor on the weekends. It was a condition of him moving in. It's improved our relationship, but also made me savvier at building my career. I've had to learn how to promote my contributions without saying yes to every request for more unpaid work.

[Anonymous]

I love what I do but I hate working.

Meaning I love the scope of my practice, my coworkers, the good work we do, the lives we better (healthcare) once I'm there, but loathe and dread the
"drop off, pick up, who has to stay late, can we get the nanny to stay another hour, you're stuck in traffic? I'm stuck in traffic! Call the preschool, crap they're both sick now, I haven't seen them for 2 days, I have a meeting, can't do book club, wait you have a meeting too, I'm stuck with a patient that just stroked out in my office"

[Anonymous]

^^cut off too soon

Basically I love my job but hate having to leave my kids to do my job.
I am only part time and love spending time with them (and they are under 4, so a lot of caretaking but a lot of fun).

[Anonymous]

I know equal #s of men and women who like their jobs actually. Most people I know, its more a means to an end than something fulfilling. Its not just women who would opt out if they had the money!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there any women here who actually like working and want to actively pursue and grow their career despite having children? Does your husband's income affect this attitude?

If so, what do you do? Why does it bring you so much fulfillment?

Man here. I don't like working. I do it so I can feed my family and pay the mortgage. I guess five of one thing for two of another is a fair trade.

I'm successful. I earn six figures.

But do I "like" working? No. I would never find fulfillment in working. Maybe if I was an entrepreneur I might feel differently, but the notion of defining yourself by your career seems really odd to me.

My DH would say the same. When he was younger he cared about "success" and is in fact quite successful but he has other interests and would happily pursue them if we won the lottery (not that we play).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there any women here who actually like working and want to actively pursue and grow their career despite having children? Does your husband's income affect this attitude?

If so, what do you do? Why does it bring you so much fulfillment?

Yes. Gov lawyer. I love solving problems for my client, interacting with my colleagues, learning new things, being challenged, and bringing home a paycheck! I think the last thing brings me more psychological comfort than I give credit to sometimes -- knowing that I have real earning power makes me feel like if things go south, I can still survive.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher and love my job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

[Anonymous]

Um, yes. In house lawyer. Good pay, good lifestyle, good work. DH's income is irrelevant.

Why is this question specific to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

I'm not a SAHM and enjoy working, but wow are you prejudiced. Have you ever considered that there are long-term downsides to being a working wife and mother? A friend in her late 50s is currently in the midst of a horrendous divorce in which it looks like she is going to be penalized for having always worked (except 6 week maternity leaves). Yes, she CAN support herself and the kids are "alright", but her lawyer has been upfront that she'll get very little financial consideration for having having to start over career wise again and again as she followed her STBX all over the country for his career. He told her she'd have been better off in the long run as a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

I love working (gov lawyer here too), and FWIW, I make significantly more than my husband. I like the mental stimulation, the ability to focus completely on one thing, and the opportunity to finish my coffee while it's still hot.

I also don't really think there's anything wrong with having SAH parenting as a life goal. It's not for me, but it doesn't have to be. You can be hardworking and dedicated as a SAH parent, and you can be a lazy slacker who WOH full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

I'm not a SAHM and enjoy working, but wow are you prejudiced. Have you ever considered that there are long-term downsides to being a working wife and mother? A friend in her late 50s is currently in the midst of a horrendous divorce in which it looks like she is going to be penalized for having always worked (except 6 week maternity leaves). Yes, she CAN support herself and the kids are "alright", but her lawyer has been upfront that she'll get very little financial consideration for having having to start over career wise again and again as she followed her STBX all over the country for his career. He told her she'd have been better off in the long run as a SAHM.

Hating women for wanting to be sahms is extremely sexist and discounts the main contribution women have had throughout history - bearing and raising children. You should be weary of any man who doesn't respect this role. I personally don't want to stay at home, but I still respect that raising children is a big deal. Women working in an office is relatively recent in the grand scheme of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

Wow, are you smug. I'm a WOHM but used to be a SAHM. While I enjoy my current career, I can honestly say that the most meaningful time of my life were the eight years I stayed home with my kids. My experience is completely different than yours in that all of the women I work with would trade their careers for being at home with their kids any day. We've had many conversations about this very subject, and those who never stayed home with their kids deeply regret it now.

Guess what: choosing to be a SAHM, either temporarily or permanently, is a worthwhile goal. When I was at home, our family ran smoothly and everyone was happy and calm. The kids were never hustled out of the house at the crack of dawn and left in daycare or with a nanny for all hours. I will be forever grateful that their childhood was marked not by a blur of frantic childcare juggling, but steady, consistent care from a parent - and I will be forever grateful that I got to be that parent.

Maybe you should check your superiority complex and realize that your life choices are meaningless to others as well. Good thing we can all do what's right for our own families rather than trying to impress bitter people like yourself.

[Anonymous]

I like working and there is no way I could be home with the kids 100% of the time. I work 4 days a week and while I love having one day to spend with the kids, grocery shop, etc, I am perfectly happy working the other four days a week. I've always loved working though--started working when I was 15 and worked through high school and college. I like being around people, feeling financially secure, learning new things. I've never been a super high earner (at least not by DCUM standards) but money isn't the main reason I work. My husband makes twice what I make but he owns his own business so I work mainly to provide health benefits and put us in a financial place that we don't need to worry about every day expenses.

I wouldn't say that my job is my passion in life but I work for great people who allow me a ton of flexibility and treat me with respect. If I could just get rid of my 45-50 minute commute, my work situation would be ideal.

[Anonymous]

I save kittens. And trees. (Other stuff, too.)

So yes, I like working, at least in this particular job. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to put it on hold for a while and spend more time with my kids, or that life isn't a bit overwhelming when working full time and having lots of small people at home. I don't think I'd be good at being a SAHM full time, but unfortunately I don't know that there is an option to save kitten, trees, and other stuff part time.