How should I respond to this guilt trip text from my dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would any grown adult be hysterical over another person forgetting their birthday?

It happens. I just got a passive aggressive email from my mother about forgetting my parents' (not a milestone) wedding anniversary.

[Anonymous]

Are dissenters not reading the OPs post- she didn't forget the birthday! She called on her birthday, she had the kids wish a happy birthday- she SENT A GIFT that just happened to arrive a few days after her birthday- what she didn't do was remember in advance to have the gift arrive on the exact birthday. Really, this is not "forgetting a birthday".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your dad is right. The biopsy is another thing you have going on, but it's not all encompassing that it's a good enough reason to miss your mom's birthday. That's pretty self-centered, OP.

Lovely, PP. Next time you're worried to death about having cancer and go to have a biopsy, we'll make sure to upbraid you about how you only called on the day of a celebration, and not sent a gift before.

[Anonymous]

I don't see it as guilt trip. Probably dad sensed that mom is hiding her true feeling about the birthday. She could be a bit sad but not telling directly to you. You know, mom, as general, we tend to hide our true feelings about these things, that might be small, for some people, but we take it to heart. Your dad sensed that, and tells you about it, because mom would never say it out loud.

[Anonymous]

I would just reply "ok"

And let it go

[Anonymous]

Call your mom and tell her the truth.

I'm glad you are OK.
Your parents will recover from this hiccup.

She would probably be annoyed to learn he complained on her behalf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see it as guilt trip. Probably dad sensed that mom is hiding her true feeling about the birthday. She could be a bit sad but not telling directly to you. You know, mom, as general, we tend to hide our true feelings about these things, that might be small, for some people, but we take it to heart. Your dad sensed that, and tells you about it, because mom would never say it out loud.

If this is the case, then maybe Mom wouldn't say it out loud because she knew, in her rational mind, that it is silly to have hurt feelings over it and she wanted to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ignore Dad and say something to Mom about the biopsy and how you are sorry you were preoccupied. Dad does not deserve a response.

I like this. Your dad and my mom should go bowling.