How should I respond to this guilt trip text from my dad?

[Anonymous]

I'd send him a note either apologizing for being preoccupied and/or telling him about the biopsy, whichever you think best. And cut yourself a break.

[Anonymous]

The apology and explanation route would make sense if 1) he was doing this from a place of love and concern for your mom who was genuinely upset, but you stated that you feel confident that is not the case and, 2) he had done it in a respectful and thoughtful way, rather then the obsequious and chiding tone that he used with you.

Given the circumstances around this, I definitely don't think that the apology/explanation route makes sense. This is not about your mom or her feelings; this is about your dad trying to manipulate and control you. It is 100% a power-play. I would respond with a clear firm boundary: my relationship with mom it is between her and I, and if she has a problem with the way I celebrated her birthday, she will tell me so herself.

[Anonymous]

I don't think OP needs to apologize to anyone and certainly not to her father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP needs to apologize to anyone and certainly not to her father.

+1. Pps who think she should apologize, can you tell me what you think she did wrong?

[Anonymous]

His text doesn't deserve or require an answer. Just delete it as a momentary spew, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP needs to apologize to anyone and certainly not to her father.

+1. Pps who think she should apologize, can you tell me what you think she did wrong?

Agree. I really like the sarcastic response given how ridiculous the dad's text is, but think this suggestion from a PP is what I would actually send:

- The guilt trip is inappropriate Dad. I didn't forget Mom's birthday and if she is upset she can talk to me directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: The apology and explanation route would make sense if 1) he was doing this from a place of love and concern for your mom who was genuinely upset, but you stated that you feel confident that is not the case and, 2) he had done it in a respectful and thoughtful way, rather then the obsequious and chiding tone that he used with you.

Given the circumstances around this, I definitely don't think that the apology/explanation route makes sense. This is not about your mom or her feelings; this is about your dad trying to manipulate and control you. It is 100% a power-play. I would respond with a clear firm boundary: my relationship with mom it is between her and I, and if she has a problem with the way I celebrated her birthday, she will tell me so herself.

I totally agree. Ignore it and don't feel like you have to share the biopsy info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think OP needs to apologize to anyone and certainly not to her father.

+1. Pps who think she should apologize, can you tell me what you think she did wrong?

I'm 18:02 from yesterday. I wasn't specific with the apology but the extended version would be "I am sorry you are offended." Takes no responsibility, because OP did talk to the mother on the birthday and get a gift, but attempts to smooth the situation over.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the old dick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:your father is right

No, he is a dick. I hate adults who make a big deal out of birthdays, as if they are 7 years old...

Can I get an amen? I seriously don't understand it at all.

[Anonymous]

So, what happened OP!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow you missed your mothers birthday and the person who called you on it is the bad guy. Rich!

She didnt miss her moms bday, she called her and had the kids wish her a happy bday!!! She just didnt send a gift.

Your dad is an ass btw

[Anonymous]

Sounds like maybe he was looking for a reason to be upset with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:your father is right

No, he is a dick. I hate adults who make a big deal out of birthdays, as if they are 7 years old...

He may have been reacting to a histrionic wife.

+1. I know I'd be a little annoyed if a (hypothetical) grown daughter forgot my wife's birthday entirely, but if my wife was all hysterical, I'd probably let my daughter know ...

[Anonymous]

Why would any grown adult be hysterical over another person forgetting their birthday?