When your "Superior" is talentless and unintelligent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I am in a similar situation and I have read this thread with interest.

I agree it is frustrating and I also agree that the best thing to do is suck it up and try not to make an enemy. I do think it is true that there are a lot of skills that go into management from leadership to organization to innovation and at least some technical knowledge even if that is not your strength. So maybe you can try to look more generously upon her and recognize that she has some strengths that you don't?

Other than that, I really don't know. I am a recent transplant to the DC area and I will say I have never seen such self-important managers as I have here. It seems to be largely about power plays and drama than getting work done. It has been a culture shock for me. And what is with all these "check in" meetings? Never happened in New York (or London for that matter) while we were generally assumed to be skilled professionals who didn't need babysitting.

But at the end of the day it is better to be on friendly terms with your boss so there you have it.

+100. I'm one of those loathed millennials too and agree with you on the DC work culture. No idea why people are deriding OP so much! I've heard countless stories like this from friends in law, consulting and smaller firms. I recently left a job where my manager not only lacked people skills and was unintelligent (read: we had to explain simple procedural concepts and basic office technology to her) but senile (69, rapidly losing her marbles, and absurdly forgetful). Add in a few uncalled for outbursts and tirades towards me other 20something new hires in front of coworkers and guests in the reception area and it wasn't long before 4 out of 6 of us left over the course of a single summer. Of course, HR did jack shit for us despite emails to prove out case and contradictory double talk.

Why can't some of you grasp the fact that some people have no business being a manager?? Many people are simply promoted to being a manager and loathe the role yet only stay for the pay raise. Add in the fact that some firms refuse to coordinate adequate training and manager support and voila, hostile work culture. Attitude is key in these situations but some of us aren't so lucky. When you're 26 years old and trying to start a career yet HR does jack shit ("don't worry, she's just passionate about her job!") to help you move out of a department or prevent you from being written up for no good reason it really, really sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post sure does make a lot of you uncomfortable. Seems to me there are a lot of:
1 - Incompetent supervisors who are afraid of being discovered. So they pull the "attitude" card
2 - Subordinates who are afraid to question authority, even in their own private thoughts
Pathetic!

+1

My supervisors don't understand have the right substantive background and I've had very high up people comment to me about it multiple times. I don't give a shit about making someone else look good so I focus on my own reputation and my own relationships with other higher ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I am in a similar situation and I have read this thread with interest.

I agree it is frustrating and I also agree that the best thing to do is suck it up and try not to make an enemy. I do think it is true that there are a lot of skills that go into management from leadership to organization to innovation and at least some technical knowledge even if that is not your strength. So maybe you can try to look more generously upon her and recognize that she has some strengths that you don't?

Other than that, I really don't know. I am a recent transplant to the DC area and I will say I have never seen such self-important managers as I have here. It seems to be largely about power plays and drama than getting work done. It has been a culture shock for me. And what is with all these "check in" meetings? Never happened in New York (or London for that matter) while we were generally assumed to be skilled professionals who didn't need babysitting.

But at the end of the day it is better to be on friendly terms with your boss so there you have it.

+100. I'm one of those loathed millennials too and agree with you on the DC work culture. No idea why people are deriding OP so much! I've heard countless stories like this from friends in law, consulting and smaller firms. I recently left a job where my manager not only lacked people skills and was unintelligent (read: we had to explain simple procedural concepts and basic office technology to her) but senile (69, rapidly losing her marbles, and absurdly forgetful). Add in a few uncalled for outbursts and tirades towards me other 20something new hires in front of coworkers and guests in the reception area and it wasn't long before 4 out of 6 of us left over the course of a single summer. Of course, HR did jack shit for us despite emails to prove out case and contradictory double talk.

Why can't some of you grasp the fact that some people have no business being a manager?? Many people are simply promoted to being a manager and loathe the role yet only stay for the pay raise. Add in the fact that some firms refuse to coordinate adequate training and manager support and voila, hostile work culture. Attitude is key in these situations but some of us aren't so lucky. When you're 26 years old and trying to start a career yet HR does jack shit ("don't worry, she's just passionate about her job!") to help you move out of a department or prevent you from being written up for no good reason it really, really sucks.

+1

They're probably the incompetent leaders we speak of. I know some who got promoted because they complained they had the most seniority in the department yet never learned how to master the job(s) they previously held.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - hahaha, I love the assumptions made on this forum. I actually DO have a good relationship with the woman I report to. I keep all of this to myself. I don't share my thoughts with anyone at work. I am venting on an ANONYMOUS forum, like all of you do. My attitude comes across as very positive at work. Also, I am not at all bitter about my job, having advanced as far as I can in my area at this company. It's perfect for me right now, with young kids at home. The truth is, there ARE unintelligent supervisors out there, and mine is one of them. I can see that this fact really frightens all the supervisors reading these posts.

NP here. Maybe you are projecting a good attitude, but you don't actually have a good attitude and that is coming through in all your posts.

Yes, there are unintelligent supervisors out there. There are also very intelligent supervisors out there and you may have one whose talents you don't get to see. The larger issue is how this impacts your work life. I work for a woman who doesn't have the subject matter expertise I have and knows it. I wish she were wiser in my niche field, but she isn't, so I have to do more work advancing my subject matter expertise than if she were more knowledgeable in my area. That said, it would not occur to me to dismiss her as being stupid or useless or unintelligent. I don't know the intricacies of her job and I have better things to do than to dismiss her because she isn't the mentor I hoped her to be.

What I choose to do is to work as best I can with the situation I have. I tell her upfront what I need and she helps me develop my skills. I don't judge her. I just do my job and remember that not everyone is an expert in everything and I need to work with her to get the job done.

The problem with you, OP, is your attitude.

As I said, my attitude is fine at work. I am well liked. What part of venting on an anonymous post don't you understand?

Oh, I understand venting on an anonymous board just fine, OP. What YOU don't seem to understand is that people on the same board will respond to your venting and try to help you understand the faults you display that contribute to your need to vent. People here are trying to help you with their responses, and you only seem to care about your venting. That's fine. Buy yourself a diary and vent where no one else will read and react to your words. If you choose to put it out here, you're going to get responses. Clearly, you don't appreciate the responses and help being offered.

Hear this. Your attitude is not "fine". You may be portraying a fine attitude at the office, but you're a fake. You're judgmental and bitter. That is your true attitude and it is apparent from your very first post. Own it, because if you don't, the disconnect between your fake work persona and your real attitude will continue to frustrate you and cause you to think "venting" is an appropriate way to deal with your issues.

Either change your attitude or find a new job. Those are productive ways to deal with the frustrations you are experiencing. Otherwise, you're just whining and excusing yourself by calling it "venting".

I'm not OP but a PP who responded that I understood her position because I find myself in a similar one. Though I don't think my supervisor is talentless and unintelligent, just not the right fit for the current job and one of those male supervisors who underestimates and doesn't listen well to women, which is not just my perception - my (male) teammates and I have openly talked about it and engage in strategies to work around it. Things have improved over time as he has spent longer on the project and seems to be starting to recognize and respect my knowledge and contributions, at least a bit, but it is still difficult and frustrating.

So I frequently vent about my boss because it lets me blow off steam in a way that enables me to then deal better with him. Sure I could find a different job, but the other perks of the one I've got (interesting work, good working relationships with team, lots of flexibility) would be difficult if not impossible to replicate and make it overall worth it to stay.

In some ways it's similar to my marriage. There are things about my husband that drive me up the wall yet will never change. So I vent about those things to my friends so that they don't drive me crazy and I don't throw away an otherwise good marriage with a man that I love and respect.

You're doing it right, PP. All managers have faults, some more than others, and identifying and strategizing to work around them is a productive thing to do. Venting is fine, but you are also actually seeking a solution and not assuming your boss is useless and unintelligent. It's a huge jump from identifying things that make some managers bad to assuming they know nothing about anything and don't excel in other parts of their job.

OP is doing it wrong. She has a very bitter and judgmental attitude towards her boss, and then claims she is well liked at work and doesn't need to change her attitude. That's not sustainable and she is probably not as well liked as she thinks because very bitter and judgmental people generally don't hide it well. Since she doesn't accept that part of her problem is her attitude, her situation won't change. If she gets a new job, she can start over with people she can respect, be happier, and not need to be so mean about a boss and call it a vent without trying to work on the problems.

She accused me of being bitter for trying to help her, so she clearly doesn't have a good disposition outside of work, either.

Frankly, I'm done responding to her, but you make a lot of sense and understand the balance between venting and problem solving.

[Anonymous]

Brains and talent is not a necessary qualities to become a supervisor. I suggest you take to - drinking on the sly, looking for another job, and reading Dilbert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I am in a similar situation and I have read this thread with interest.

I agree it is frustrating and I also agree that the best thing to do is suck it up and try not to make an enemy. I do think it is true that there are a lot of skills that go into management from leadership to organization to innovation and at least some technical knowledge even if that is not your strength. So maybe you can try to look more generously upon her and recognize that she has some strengths that you don't?

Other than that, I really don't know. I am a recent transplant to the DC area and I will say I have never seen such self-important managers as I have here. It seems to be largely about power plays and drama than getting work done. It has been a culture shock for me. And what is with all these "check in" meetings? Never happened in New York (or London for that matter) while we were generally assumed to be skilled professionals who didn't need babysitting.

But at the end of the day it is better to be on friendly terms with your boss so there you have it.

+100. I'm one of those loathed millennials too and agree with you on the DC work culture. No idea why people are deriding OP so much! I've heard countless stories like this from friends in law, consulting and smaller firms. I recently left a job where my manager not only lacked people skills and was unintelligent (read: we had to explain simple procedural concepts and basic office technology to her) but senile (69, rapidly losing her marbles, and absurdly forgetful). Add in a few uncalled for outbursts and tirades towards me other 20something new hires in front of coworkers and guests in the reception area and it wasn't long before 4 out of 6 of us left over the course of a single summer. Of course, HR did jack shit for us despite emails to prove out case and contradictory double talk.

Why can't some of you grasp the fact that some people have no business being a manager?? Many people are simply promoted to being a manager and loathe the role yet only stay for the pay raise. Add in the fact that some firms refuse to coordinate adequate training and manager support and voila, hostile work culture. Attitude is key in these situations but some of us aren't so lucky. When you're 26 years old and trying to start a career yet HR does jack shit ("don't worry, she's just passionate about her job!") to help you move out of a department or prevent you from being written up for no good reason it really, really sucks.

+1

They're probably the incompetent leaders we speak of. I know some who got promoted because they complained they had the most seniority in the department yet never learned how to master the job(s) they previously held.

Managers rise to the level of their incompetence!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - hahaha, I love the assumptions made on this forum. I actually DO have a good relationship with the woman I report to. I keep all of this to myself. I don't share my thoughts with anyone at work. I am venting on an ANONYMOUS forum, like all of you do. My attitude comes across as very positive at work. Also, I am not at all bitter about my job, having advanced as far as I can in my area at this company. It's perfect for me right now, with young kids at home. The truth is, there ARE unintelligent supervisors out there, and mine is one of them. I can see that this fact really frightens all the supervisors reading these posts.

NP here. Maybe you are projecting a good attitude, but you don't actually have a good attitude and that is coming through in all your posts.

Yes, there are unintelligent supervisors out there. There are also very intelligent supervisors out there and you may have one whose talents you don't get to see. The larger issue is how this impacts your work life. I work for a woman who doesn't have the subject matter expertise I have and knows it. I wish she were wiser in my niche field, but she isn't, so I have to do more work advancing my subject matter expertise than if she were more knowledgeable in my area. That said, it would not occur to me to dismiss her as being stupid or useless or unintelligent. I don't know the intricacies of her job and I have better things to do than to dismiss her because she isn't the mentor I hoped her to be.

What I choose to do is to work as best I can with the situation I have. I tell her upfront what I need and she helps me develop my skills. I don't judge her. I just do my job and remember that not everyone is an expert in everything and I need to work with her to get the job done.

The problem with you, OP, is your attitude.

Nope, you're wrong. I am very well liked and just had a stellar review. I keep all of this to myself and have great relationships with everyone I work with. Seeing reality and seeing someone for who they are does not equal a bad attitude. You sound like one of those fearful subordinates mentioned in an earlier post.

As I said, my attitude is fine at work. I am well liked. What part of venting on an anonymous post don't you understand?

Oh, I understand venting on an anonymous board just fine, OP. What YOU don't seem to understand is that people on the same board will respond to your venting and try to help you understand the faults you display that contribute to your need to vent. People here are trying to help you with their responses, and you only seem to care about your venting. That's fine. Buy yourself a diary and vent where no one else will read and react to your words. If you choose to put it out here, you're going to get responses. Clearly, you don't appreciate the responses and help being offered.

Hear this. Your attitude is not "fine". You may be portraying a fine attitude at the office, but you're a fake. You're judgmental and bitter. That is your true attitude and it is apparent from your very first post. Own it, because if you don't, the disconnect between your fake work persona and your real attitude will continue to frustrate you and cause you to think "venting" is an appropriate way to deal with your issues.

Either change your attitude or find a new job. Those are productive ways to deal with the frustrations you are experiencing. Otherwise, you're just whining and excusing yourself by calling it "venting".

I'm not OP but a PP who responded that I understood her position because I find myself in a similar one. Though I don't think my supervisor is talentless and unintelligent, just not the right fit for the current job and one of those male supervisors who underestimates and doesn't listen well to women, which is not just my perception - my (male) teammates and I have openly talked about it and engage in strategies to work around it. Things have improved over time as he has spent longer on the project and seems to be starting to recognize and respect my knowledge and contributions, at least a bit, but it is still difficult and frustrating.

So I frequently vent about my boss because it lets me blow off steam in a way that enables me to then deal better with him. Sure I could find a different job, but the other perks of the one I've got (interesting work, good working relationships with team, lots of flexibility) would be difficult if not impossible to replicate and make it overall worth it to stay.

In some ways it's similar to my marriage. There are things about my husband that drive me up the wall yet will never change. So I vent about those things to my friends so that they don't drive me crazy and I don't throw away an otherwise good marriage with a man that I love and respect.

You're doing it right, PP. All managers have faults, some more than others, and identifying and strategizing to work around them is a productive thing to do. Venting is fine, but you are also actually seeking a solution and not assuming your boss is useless and unintelligent. It's a huge jump from identifying things that make some managers bad to assuming they know nothing about anything and don't excel in other parts of their job.

OP is doing it wrong. She has a very bitter and judgmental attitude towards her boss, and then claims she is well liked at work and doesn't need to change her attitude. That's not sustainable and she is probably not as well liked as she thinks because very bitter and judgmental people generally don't hide it well. Since she doesn't accept that part of her problem is her attitude, her situation won't change. If she gets a new job, she can start over with people she can respect, be happier, and not need to be so mean about a boss and call it a vent without trying to work on the problems.

She accused me of being bitter for trying to help her, so she clearly doesn't have a good disposition outside of work, either.

Frankly, I'm done responding to her, but you make a lot of sense and understand the balance between venting and problem solving.

[Anonymous]

OP is doing it wrong. She has a very bitter and judgmental attitude towards her boss, and then claims she is well liked at work and doesn't need to change her attitude. That's not sustainable and she is probably not as well liked as she thinks because very bitter and judgmental people generally don't hide it well. Since she doesn't accept that part of her problem is her attitude, her situation won't change. If she gets a new job, she can start over with people she can respect, be happier, and not need to be so mean about a boss and call it a vent without trying to work on the problems.

She accused me of being bitter for trying to help her, so she clearly doesn't have a good disposition outside of work, either.

Frankly, I'm done responding to her, but you make a lot of sense and understand the balance between venting and problem solving.

Hilarious - I am not the one who called you bitter. - OP