How do you deal with unruly older kids at the playground?

[Anonymous]

I was at a playground where a plus size panicky mom got stuck on a slide.

[Anonymous]

Take her somewhere else. It is not fair to the older kids to make them play a certain way around your toddler who is not on an age appropriate structure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our playground is designated from 2-5 years for the small one and 6-12 for the bigger. Which I feel is ridiculous because kids under 2 can't use the playground? And the difference between a one year old and a 5 year old is huge.

OP, if you aren't in the "big kid" playground, I'd feel free to be as stern with those kids as you need to be. They need to watch out for little ones if they are playing in a shared space.

Wait, you feel the posted age is ridiculous so I need to hold my 3yo back when he is on a 2-5yo playground? So your barely walking toddler can take forever to sit at the top of the slide? I take him to playground so he can run around and climb and jump and play. That's the whole point. If your kid is under 2, let them practice walking somewhere else. Similarly, I will keep my 3yo away from the 10 year olds on the big kid playground.

+1. There are other play options for kids under two. Insisting that kids who are the appropriate age for a piece of equipment curtail their play for kids who are too young is silly. If a four-year-old is unable to play because a 16-month-old is on equipment they are not big enough to navigate, then the 16-month-old needs to move. Ditto for those in the 2-5 set on the 5+ equipment. If their use of the equipment is preventing older kids from using it, they need to yield. Because a four-year-old not waiting for more than a second to go down a slide is not "unruly," it's being four. A kid jumping on a suspended bridge isn't being unruly, they are playing with the bridge in a totally appropriate and foreseeable manner.

Luckily for me, none of you assholes appear to live in my neighborhood. We treat the "2-5" playground as really birth-3 and the older kid playground for 4 and up. If your kid is 4, then yes, s/he absolutely needs to learn how to play around a 1.5 year old.

It's a liability issue. Nobody actually intends for children under 2 to never be allowed in the playground. It's completely absurd to say they are not permitted.

It doesn't matter what you "treat" the playground as - it matters what the playground is designed to be used as.

I "treat" the highway which has a speed limit of 55 as autobahn and drive 90 miles an hour. Am I right or wrong?

[Anonymous]

I'm so worried for these kids of today's parents that they feel they must manage every little interaction on the play ground to this extent. What a bunch of incredibly babied people were raising. No self regulation no ability to navigate social constructs on their own. I hope OP screams at my kid for this type of perfectly normal behavior and then I'm going to let him handle the on his own. I hope he rolls his eyes at her and keep playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its weird, I grew up in Canada (moved to USA for DH's work) and still have family and friends in the Great White North. According to my family and friends with kids and my experience taking my nieces and nephews to the park before moving down here, this is a strange and uncommon occurrence for me.. Maybe Canadians (even children?) are too polite to go pushing each other down slides and rough-housing at the playground? It seems that kids just have more respect. Maybe it is just my family and group of friends? I don't know. But if there is a little kid going down slide.. older kids wait and form a line at the top. Small child climbing the stairs... older kids help them up. It is really sweet, actually. And as soon as younger kid is done and (somewhat) out of the way, the older kids go back to their rambunctious selves! It is something that I encourage my kids to do, too. I am NOT going to go to both a toddler specific park and a regular park if I promised a trip to the park to my kids (2 & 7) No, they are playing on the same equipment. At the same park. Going to a specific park is nonsense. Sure, older kids play differently than toddlers but come on, parents! It is not going to hurt them to be aware of their surroundings and understand that their actions could potentially hurt someone else.

I'm from Canada too. I don't know where you're from but kids push and shove at the playground, and try to shake each other off of the bridge. They don't always take turns at the slide. They try to act tougher than they are. Their safety and everyone else's isn't always on their mind. If there is a more appropriate playground for a toddler, either take her there or keep her out of the way of the older kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is pathetic to see older kids using age inappropriate playground equipment. It is equally pathetic to see parents of 16 month olds acting this way.

Yes, go stick your older kids in front of a screen where they belong!



Look in the mirror for a view of pathetic, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its weird, I grew up in Canada (moved to USA for DH's work) and still have family and friends in the Great White North. According to my family and friends with kids and my experience taking my nieces and nephews to the park before moving down here, this is a strange and uncommon occurrence for me.. Maybe Canadians (even children?) are too polite to go pushing each other down slides and rough-housing at the playground? It seems that kids just have more respect. Maybe it is just my family and group of friends? I don't know. But if there is a little kid going down slide.. older kids wait and form a line at the top. Small child climbing the stairs... older kids help them up. It is really sweet, actually. And as soon as younger kid is done and (somewhat) out of the way, the older kids go back to their rambunctious selves! It is something that I encourage my kids to do, too. I am NOT going to go to both a toddler specific park and a regular park if I promised a trip to the park to my kids (2 & 7) No, they are playing on the same equipment. At the same park. Going to a specific park is nonsense. Sure, older kids play differently than toddlers but come on, parents! It is not going to hurt them to be aware of their surroundings and understand that their actions could potentially hurt someone else.

I'm from Canada too. I don't know where you're from but kids push and shove at the playground, and try to shake each other off of the bridge. They don't always take turns at the slide. They try to act tougher than they are. Their safety and everyone else's isn't always on their mind. If there is a more appropriate playground for a toddler, either take her there or keep her out of the way of the older kids.

When I visited Canada with my 5 year old and 3 year old and went to the park the kids were polite but really pushy. We chalked it up to kids practicing body slamming to get ready for hockey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its weird, I grew up in Canada (moved to USA for DH's work) and still have family and friends in the Great White North. According to my family and friends with kids and my experience taking my nieces and nephews to the park before moving down here, this is a strange and uncommon occurrence for me.. Maybe Canadians (even children?) are too polite to go pushing each other down slides and rough-housing at the playground? It seems that kids just have more respect. Maybe it is just my family and group of friends? I don't know. But if there is a little kid going down slide.. older kids wait and form a line at the top. Small child climbing the stairs... older kids help them up. It is really sweet, actually. And as soon as younger kid is done and (somewhat) out of the way, the older kids go back to their rambunctious selves! It is something that I encourage my kids to do, too. I am NOT going to go to both a toddler specific park and a regular park if I promised a trip to the park to my kids (2 & 7) No, they are playing on the same equipment. At the same park. Going to a specific park is nonsense. Sure, older kids play differently than toddlers but come on, parents! It is not going to hurt them to be aware of their surroundings and understand that their actions could potentially hurt someone else.

Most of the PPs are talking about parks that have two areas, one designated for toddlers and preschoolers, one for elementary and up. I've been in areas of the country where there is only one set of equipment, so the kids played together. But if there's age appropriate equipment, they play where it's recommended and/or where they are comfortable *and can keep up.*

[Anonymous]

I don't think understanding that their actions have consequences that is going to hurt them - it's that they for once, in a high density city - should be allowed to play to MOVE and your toddler is seriously cramping their ability to do that.

And it WILL hurt them if I hover over them their entire lives saying "be careful. Stop that! Watch the baby!" Every 30 seconds. Please, take your toddler elsewhere if you can, my kids need the space, and the freedom, way more than yours does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think understanding that their actions have consequences that is going to hurt them - it's that they for once, in a high density city - should be allowed to play to MOVE and your toddler is seriously cramping their ability to do that.

And it WILL hurt them if I hover over them their entire lives saying "be careful. Stop that! Watch the baby!" Every 30 seconds. Please, take your toddler elsewhere if you can, my kids need the space, and the freedom, way more than yours does.

Oh good grief! I agree with you in general, but why did you have to add this jab in at the end? No no no, nobody's kid needs space and freedom any more than any other kid, despite the age difference.

[Anonymous]

I yell at kids that do that. It usually startles them, and they listen. I have had parents talk back, but too bad, their kid has no right to harm mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I yell at kids that do that. It usually startles them, and they listen. I have had parents talk back, but too bad, their kid has no right to harm mine.

Because your snowflake is the most important snowflake in the world!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think understanding that their actions have consequences that is going to hurt them - it's that they for once, in a high density city - should be allowed to play to MOVE and your toddler is seriously cramping their ability to do that.

And it WILL hurt them if I hover over them their entire lives saying "be careful. Stop that! Watch the baby!" Every 30 seconds. Please, take your toddler elsewhere if you can, my kids need the space, and the freedom, way more than yours does.

Oh good grief! I agree with you in general, but why did you have to add this jab in at the end? No no no, nobody's kid needs space and freedom any more than any other kid, despite the age difference.

NP here. As someone who has taught both ages, and parented both ages, and who currently is not teaching or parenting either, I agree with the top poster. Not that her Johnny needs the space more than a your Mary, but that a 7 year old needs space and freedom on the playground more than a 19 month old.

That year between their first and second birthday kids need to do a lot of exploration of their environment, but they can meet that need almost anywhere. Climbing up and down a short set of stairs, running up and down the hallway, figuring out how to manage their bodies to carry something big like a laundry basket, or heavy like a medicine ball, riding a ride on toy even in a small space, pushing their own stroller . . . . all of these experiences meet their needs for movement, challenge and exploration. They also have basically all day meet those needs, whether they're with a nanny or a parent or in daycare, people rarely make their 19 month olds sit still for hours.

7 year olds have the exact same need for freedom, challenge, and for sustained exercise, but the range of things that challenge them is much less, so the places where they can do the kind of sustained running and exercise where they're lifting their body weight over and over again, is very limited. Plus the time they have to move freely and meet their own needs is limited too, because of so many hours sitting still in school.

The way I see it, parents of toddlers wouldn't let their kids use equipment designed for other age groups in a way that prevents them from being used as designed. Or at least they shouldn't, and if they did they wouldn't argue that it was OK. If you were letting your 19 month old play on the wheelchair ramp and an elderly person needed the ramp for the purpose it was designed for you'd move the toddler (I hope). If they were enjoying standing on the changing table to survey the world, and another parent came with an infant you'd move them. If they were standing in front of the automatic door at a store, making it open and close, and you wanted to walk through you'd get them out of their way. All of those things are things I let my toddler do, because they're the kinds of things a toddler likes to do, but as soon as someone else needed the equipment we stopped and moved out of the way. In this case, the OP has the same responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I yell at kids that do that. It usually startles them, and they listen. I have had parents talk back, but too bad, their kid has no right to harm mine.

Because your snowflake is the most important snowflake in the world!

Not PP but yes, of course my child is the most important person on earth to me. However that is not the issue - older/bigger kids will always need to be considerate of smaller/ younger kids. That is simply the way it is. I will teach my little kid to be the same when he is older.

We do have two separated parks in my neighborhood - one for five and under and one for older kids. I have never let my toddler in the older kids section and wouldn't. However of course older kids are going to be in the little kids section occasionally if they younger siblings. And yes - absolutely I correct and have yelled at older kids. And I will continue to do so.

[Anonymous]

Older kids should be considerate, but any parent who is upset with a 4yo for running on a playground is just out of his or her head. I mean really, OP, did you post thinking that you would find DCUM up in arms because some monster 4yo shook the 'shaky bridge'!! WTF do you think is its intended purpose?

If your child is 16m she is still learning how to navigate properly. It's wonderful that you want to let her explore a playground for older kids, but you can't possibly be so self-involved as to believe that your new walker should dictate how all the other kids playing on a piece of equipment not designated for a new walker should behave?