Would you leave your toddler?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I were out of town last weekend and decided to go to church that Sunday morning. We took 14 month old DS with us, and since we were just visiting, we brought him to the service with us. He was very quiet and well behaved and actually slept most of the time. The one time he started making noise (happy noise, not screaming), DH took him right out, and a lady followed him and told him he needed to drop DS off in the nursery. DH said we were just visiting, so we preferred to keep him with us. She was adamant, and said they asked parents don't bring their children to the service. We can't understand how we'd be expected to be comfortable leaving our child with people we didn't know.

Obviously we won't be back, but - would you have left your young toddler in a strange church nursery?[/q

You did the right thing by taking him out. She was rude to follow you and make the comment. No, I probably wouldn't leave child with strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be okay with leaving my child with a strange church nursery -- but I would be very upset by a church member telling me my child is not welcome at a service.

There may be some churches that prefer to exclude babies and children from a service. Those are not the type of church I would want to attend. If someone told me that, I would contact the pastor/priest and tell them about it, letting them know how unwelcome I felt at such a place.

You too sensitive. My church has a children's service and then kids are excused and smaller ones go to nursery. Very few children can sit through a 45-minute service and they are disruptive to other people. A disruptive child is not welcome. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP, I confess that I am one of those who, when seeing a baby on a plane. adult restaurant, theater, or church, cringe because chances are excellent kid will act up.

[Anonymous]

At our church, children are welcome in a service, although we have several options. We have nursery with paid staff (side jobs for local nannies - been there for years), a side room with the service piped in, and a "gospel time" where kids can process out for the middle of the service during the sermon.

I have mentioned to new parents that there is a nursery - not to imply that they must send their kids, but because when I first got to tephe church, I didn't know. After a few weeks, when i kept seeing kids magically reappear around communion, someone told me. However, when I mention it to parents, I always emphasize that their kids are welcome to stay if they want.

[Anonymous]

No, I would never leave my children with strangers at a church I had never been to before! I would not do that to my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a situation in which you get a babysitter. There are lots of activities that are really for adults and are not meant for toddlers. That doesn't mean that you have to leave your kid at the unfamiliar nursery; it means you make other plans in advance. I would never assume I could take a young toddler to a church service....

But you're obviously very comfortable assuming everyone who wants to go to church has the funds and resources to hire a babysitter. Every. Sunday.

That is an absurd and entitled assumption to make.

OP, seeing this for the first time: I feel so sorry for this person who wouldn't asssume her child was welcome in church. I'm really sorry your experiences led you to that thought.

This is mind boggling to me. Who in the world gets a babysitter on Sun. morning so you can go to church?!? Church is for the FAMILY. What kind of church did you grow up at?

Personally, I wouldn't leave my toddler at the nursery of a church I'd never been to. Not because I'd be concerned that there's anything wrong with the staff or facilities but because my toddler would not be comfortable being left in an unfamiliar environment, even with the nicest people and toys. We did use our church nursery but it was a gradual process of first staying in the room with the baby for part of service when he was being fussy, then leaving him there for a short period, and then eventually just dropping him off for the whole service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our church, children are welcome in a service, although we have several options. We have nursery with paid staff (side jobs for local nannies - been there for years), a side room with the service piped in, and a "gospel time" where kids can process out for the middle of the service during the sermon.

I have mentioned to new parents that there is a nursery - not to imply that they must send their kids, but because when I first got to tephe church, I didn't know. After a few weeks, when i kept seeing kids magically reappear around communion, someone told me. However, when I mention it to parents, I always emphasize that their kids are welcome to stay if they want.

OP here. Kids magically reappear before communion at our church too, and I think it's a wonderful compromise, however, they're always welcome to stay the entire service if they want. I will admit it was a shift in thinking for me, since communion gets a little more "rowdy" that I was used to, but I finally realized it's a beautiful way of acknowledging new life in the church. Also, it seems like kids don't go to the nursery before a year or so - definitely not newborns.

To the people who cringe when they see a child at church or restaurant or airplane, so what?! I don't like especially like children and even I understand they're going to be around.

[Anonymous]

On the flip side, I really like church where kids go to nursery. It makes it enjoyable for everyone. They learn religious songs and stories in the nursery/sunday school and adults can focus on worshiping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be okay with leaving my child with a strange church nursery -- but I would be very upset by a church member telling me my child is not welcome at a service.

There may be some churches that prefer to exclude babies and children from a service. Those are not the type of church I would want to attend. If someone told me that, I would contact the pastor/priest and tell them about it, letting them know how unwelcome I felt at such a place.

You too sensitive. My church has a children's service and then kids are excused and smaller ones go to nursery. Very few children can sit through a 45-minute service and they are disruptive to other people. A disruptive child is not welcome. Get over yourself.

Wow. Nice inclusive attitude. OP's kid wasn't even pitching a fit, just some "happy noises". Our church welcomes all and even has a Children's Sermon where younger kids come up to the front and the pastor speaks directly to them. Kids are dismissed a little early for Sunday School after some services. That being said- OP made the right choice that this isn't the right church for their family and it sounds like the PP's isn't right either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the people who cringe when they see a child at church or restaurant or airplane, so what?! I don't like especially like children and even I understand they're going to be around.

I honestly don't think an airplane can be included with other scenarios. First of all- if you've got to travel, you've got to travel. Plus, you can't get up and remove a loud kid from an airplane. I say bring your kid to church but sit where you can quickly exit if things turn south.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the people who cringe when they see a child at church or restaurant or airplane, so what?! I don't like especially like children and even I understand they're going to be around.

I honestly don't think an airplane can be included with other scenarios. First of all- if you've got to travel, you've got to travel. Plus, you can't get up and remove a loud kid from an airplane. I say bring your kid to church but sit where you can quickly exit if things turn south.

OP here. Which is exactly what we do and DH did remove him quickly. I'm not sure why this turned into a criticism of children in church.

DS and I travel a lot too, and no one has ever given us trouble on an airplane. Usually people complement me on how well-behaved him is. Nursing him to sleep and the hum of the engines helps a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in a church nursery for years and we had one time visitors all the time. All staff members were CPR and first aid trained and had background checks upon hire. Many had been on staff for years. Why wouldn't you leave your child in the nursery?

Because I don't know you (and don't know you know CPR or had a background check) and neither does my child. Have you met a 14 month old?

+1
I don't trust strangers just because they are located in the church nursery.

So much pearl-clutching.

Totally agree. I might not do it if the kid freaked out but really, you all think church nurseries are full of pedophiles and abductors just waiting to prey on your kid? COME ON.

Where do you think pedophiles like to hang out? Among kids. You are delusional if you think that you can relax just because it's a church setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't feel comfortable and I wouldn't be sure my son would either.

I've never heard of a no-kid service!

Just curious, are you Catholic?

I am not the quoted PP, but I am Catholic and have never heard of a no-kid service. Also, I would not leave my kid in some church nursery. My church doesn't even have one - kids are supposed to be with their families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worked in a church nursery for years and we had one time visitors all the time. All staff members were CPR and first aid trained and had background checks upon hire. Many had been on staff for years. Why wouldn't you leave your child in the nursery?

Because I don't know you (and don't know you know CPR or had a background check) and neither does my child. Have you met a 14 month old?

+1
I don't trust strangers just because they are located in the church nursery.

So much pearl-clutching.

Totally agree. I might not do it if the kid freaked out but really, you all think church nurseries are full of pedophiles and abductors just waiting to prey on your kid? COME ON.

Where do you think pedophiles like to hang out? Among kids. You are delusional if you think that you can relax just because it's a church setting.

We didn't allow volunteers in our church nursery, only hired staff who were all female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a situation in which you get a babysitter. There are lots of activities that are really for adults and are not meant for toddlers. That doesn't mean that you have to leave your kid at the unfamiliar nursery; it means you make other plans in advance. I would never assume I could take a young toddler to a church service....

But you're obviously very comfortable assuming everyone who wants to go to church has the funds and resources to hire a babysitter. Every. Sunday.

That is an absurd and entitled assumption to make.

They were VISITING a NEW church. Presumably if they joined they would acclimate the kid to the nursery. When you go to a new place with a TODDLER, you should assume that it might not go that smoothly. My kids are older. You plan ahead--that is the key to happy kids and parents. Planning.