Why British men are reluctant to marry

[Anonymous]

I am not the pp you have been debating with. Just curious, but I tend to agree with him or her women have way more trouble pairing and settling down than men, who are in a buyers market. In my anecdotal experience, the only baby crazy ones in my personal circle are women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men are going to win this deal. They survive better in civil breakdown.

This is true. Just look at the past, suppression of women, women treated as property, chattel, no rights, not educated, etc. and it's true - law and order are the best protection for women.

Sadly, what we need protection from is men. The world would be a better place without the gender responsible for most rapes, murders, molestations, serial killings, school shootings, heck, even wars, genocides, etc. etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are going to win this deal. They survive better in civil breakdown.

This is true. Just look at the past, suppression of women, women treated as property, chattel, no rights, not educated, etc. and it's true - law and order are the best protection for women.

Sadly, what we need protection from is men. The world would be a better place without the gender responsible for most rapes, murders, molestations, serial killings, school shootings, heck, even wars, genocides, etc. etc.

Personally as a woman I like men. I love my father, my brothers and my husband. A world without men is not one I want to live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am just laughing at all this bellyaching about men losing money. Listen, men, you are falling behind women. We are getting degrees at higher rates and only misogyny and the marriage penalty for women in the workplace is keeping your status as higher earning half secure. That will change. If anything, it is women who have to worry about financial matters in marriage, especially if we have children. How many deadbeat dads exist in the world? Deadbeat moms are a rare species.

Constantly carrying on about how much men stand to lose in marriage is silly and doesn't take into account the changing reality. There are plenty of women nowadays paying ne'er do well husbands alimony, and joint custody is increasingly the norm over sole custody. Often, sole custody is awarded because the husband didn't want custody lest he cramp his new bachelor lifestyle.

Besides, marriage is not compulsory. Stay single. Die earlier. Studies show unmarried men are shortlived across the board in comparison to married women, single women, and married men. Single women, however, live longest. So, you are doing us women a favor by not marrying us, lol.

Yep. I am a young woman (25) and after working for a family law firm, I would never, EVER get married without a prenup. The wage gap is expected to flip and I think men in general are inherently more lazy, more self interested than women. At the firm we saw a lot of men who basically wanted to use the kids as leverage to get to their ex. They would fight tooth and nail for some item that was worthless but meant a lot to the wife because "it's the principle of the thing." Most of the women, on the other hand, were mainly concerned with the kids and doing right by them and not worried about being vindictive or "getting even". I learned a lot about the nature of men and it wasn't pretty.

The good thing is, most of the people who got divorced and didn't try to be petty or vindictive actually got better settlements and also ended up happier a year after the divorce. So all in all, the women generally came out on top, despite the attempts of their exes. I think this generally holds true for life: the testosterone infused, "what's in it for me" attitude usually is no path to happiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The biggest hurdle that women have is their biological clock which means that unless they procreate while they are relatively young, they will have missed the boat and the older they are when they get pregnant, the greater the risk of genetic abnormalities in the fetus quite apart from the difficulty in getting pregnant in the first place.

That's not really a hurdle if you know about it, is it? Plenty of means available to get pregnant and screen the pregnancy.

Anonymous wrote:
OTOH, men don't see a corresponding decrease in their ability to father a child as they get older and any effect is somewhat marginal.

As long as they find a cooperating female, they are OK.

Anonymous wrote:
Also - certainly based on the complaints of mothers - one of their biggest gripes against their husbands is that they don't take on the role of parenting to the extent that they should and the burden falls on the mother. Maybe being a "part time father" is something that some men would not have an issue with based on the complaints of women?

I am sure some won't. Men, like women, are all different. "Part time fatherhood" refers to time in the presence of a child, not percentage of child-rearing effort one actually undertakes.

Anonymous wrote:
At work, the incessant complaint by single women who I associate with - some are attractive and accomplished - is that they cannot find a suitable guy who is willing to commit to a relationship. Why do you think men are so unwilling to commit?

I think that might be a problem of single women with whom you associate - might you be seeking out the complainers? Start associating with married women and you won't hear as much of it. The single women you associate with might be looking at the wrong men. I personally never had a problem dating and marrying, and all my friends except one are married. So I do think the rumors of unwilling men might be just so slightly overstated.

What is your location or demographic? Contrast, all my friends in their 30s are having great trouble finding suitable men and none are married. It's an increasing problem on the coasts.

I am in DC, my friends are all middle- to upper professional class women between 33 and 42. All married except one. That one took a walk to a sperm bank at 40 and got herself a son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am just laughing at all this bellyaching about men losing money. Listen, men, you are falling behind women. We are getting degrees at higher rates and only misogyny and the marriage penalty for women in the workplace is keeping your status as higher earning half secure. That will change. If anything, it is women who have to worry about financial matters in marriage, especially if we have children. How many deadbeat dads exist in the world? Deadbeat moms are a rare species.

Constantly carrying on about how much men stand to lose in marriage is silly and doesn't take into account the changing reality. There are plenty of women nowadays paying ne'er do well husbands alimony, and joint custody is increasingly the norm over sole custody. Often, sole custody is awarded because the husband didn't want custody lest he cramp his new bachelor lifestyle.

Besides, marriage is not compulsory. Stay single. Die earlier. Studies show unmarried men are shortlived across the board in comparison to married women, single women, and married men. Single women, however, live longest. So, you are doing us women a favor by not marrying us, lol.

Yep. I am a young woman (25) and after working for a family law firm, I would never, EVER get married without a prenup. The wage gap is expected to flip and I think men in general are inherently more lazy, more self interested than women. At the firm we saw a lot of men who basically wanted to use the kids as leverage to get to their ex. They would fight tooth and nail for some item that was worthless but meant a lot to the wife because "it's the principle of the thing." Most of the women, on the other hand, were mainly concerned with the kids and doing right by them and not worried about being vindictive or "getting even". I learned a lot about the nature of men and it wasn't pretty.

The good thing is, most of the people who got divorced and didn't try to be petty or vindictive actually got better settlements and also ended up happier a year after the divorce. So all in all, the women generally came out on top, despite the attempts of their exes. I think this generally holds true for life: the testosterone infused, "what's in it for me" attitude usually is no path to happiness.

Your view might be skewed but I do think women can get just as vindictive and petty in divorce settlements. Plus because they usually get custody, they can make it difficult or impossible for the ex to spend time with the kids. That I did see happen, and I think it's terribly unfair to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: LOL. The hit dog will holler, as the saying goes. The paunchy middle-age men are really turning out to prove my post right. I mean here you are: a single man who is supposed to be out there dating this bevy of beauties who are no doubt beating down your door, lol. Instead, here you are on a perfectly good weeknight trying and failing to tell me off on DCUM. Clearly, you are really killing it with the ladies. A full social calendar you have there. I am in my 30s and I still have my looks and waistline. There was an age gap between me and the lonely loser I posted about. I think his situation is hilarious. It is all of his own making. While he still had his looks and virility, he was contemptuous of women just like you bitter closet cases here are. Now, no self-respecting woman with options would ever give him a second look and he is full of regrets, Cialis, and antidepressants. He makes a good business contact and has sent me clients, so he is not all bad. But this situation is all his fault and I have not one bit of sympathy for him as I enjoy my husband and children and he spends the holidays alone.

I think you should stop because you are only proving the 'male attorney' PP correct. You sound entitled, vain, bitchy, and seem to define your identity around your earning potential. It's obvious that if we take away the latter from the equation, you would still be a rent-seeking opportunist trying to marry well to secure financial security.

You have proved the PP right, and frankly you are an embarrassment, and proves this whole thread right.

Not to be a jerk, but I think it's pretty obvious you're the PP she's responding to and you're just posing as someone else...

Ya, the male attorney (if he is even an attorney) has been cosigning himself throughout this thread, ha.

The writing style is the same in every post "agreeing" with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am just laughing at all this bellyaching about men losing money. Listen, men, you are falling behind women. We are getting degrees at higher rates and only misogyny and the marriage penalty for women in the workplace is keeping your status as higher earning half secure. That will change. If anything, it is women who have to worry about financial matters in marriage, especially if we have children. How many deadbeat dads exist in the world? Deadbeat moms are a rare species.

Constantly carrying on about how much men stand to lose in marriage is silly and doesn't take into account the changing reality. There are plenty of women nowadays paying ne'er do well husbands alimony, and joint custody is increasingly the norm over sole custody. Often, sole custody is awarded because the husband didn't want custody lest he cramp his new bachelor lifestyle.

Besides, marriage is not compulsory. Stay single. Die earlier. Studies show unmarried men are shortlived across the board in comparison to married women, single women, and married men. Single women, however, live longest. So, you are doing us women a favor by not marrying us, lol.

Yep. I am a young woman (25) and after working for a family law firm, I would never, EVER get married without a prenup. The wage gap is expected to flip and I think men in general are inherently more lazy, more self interested than women. At the firm we saw a lot of men who basically wanted to use the kids as leverage to get to their ex. They would fight tooth and nail for some item that was worthless but meant a lot to the wife because "it's the principle of the thing." Most of the women, on the other hand, were mainly concerned with the kids and doing right by them and not worried about being vindictive or "getting even". I learned a lot about the nature of men and it wasn't pretty.

The good thing is, most of the people who got divorced and didn't try to be petty or vindictive actually got better settlements and also ended up happier a year after the divorce. So all in all, the women generally came out on top, despite the attempts of their exes. I think this generally holds true for life: the testosterone infused, "what's in it for me" attitude usually is no path to happiness.

Your view might be skewed but I do think women can get just as vindictive and petty in divorce settlements. Plus because they usually get custody, they can make it difficult or impossible for the ex to spend time with the kids. That I did see happen, and I think it's terribly unfair to men.

+1000. I saw just as many women that were vindictive to their ex husbands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am just laughing at all this bellyaching about men losing money. Listen, men, you are falling behind women. We are getting degrees at higher rates and only misogyny and the marriage penalty for women in the workplace is keeping your status as higher earning half secure. That will change. If anything, it is women who have to worry about financial matters in marriage, especially if we have children. How many deadbeat dads exist in the world? Deadbeat moms are a rare species.

Constantly carrying on about how much men stand to lose in marriage is silly and doesn't take into account the changing reality. There are plenty of women nowadays paying ne'er do well husbands alimony, and joint custody is increasingly the norm over sole custody. Often, sole custody is awarded because the husband didn't want custody lest he cramp his new bachelor lifestyle.

Besides, marriage is not compulsory. Stay single. Die earlier. Studies show unmarried men are shortlived across the board in comparison to married women, single women, and married men. Single women, however, live longest. So, you are doing us women a favor by not marrying us, lol.

Yep. I am a young woman (25) and after working for a family law firm, I would never, EVER get married without a prenup. The wage gap is expected to flip and I think men in general are inherently more lazy, more self interested than women. At the firm we saw a lot of men who basically wanted to use the kids as leverage to get to their ex. They would fight tooth and nail for some item that was worthless but meant a lot to the wife because "it's the principle of the thing." Most of the women, on the other hand, were mainly concerned with the kids and doing right by them and not worried about being vindictive or "getting even". I learned a lot about the nature of men and it wasn't pretty.

The good thing is, most of the people who got divorced and didn't try to be petty or vindictive actually got better settlements and also ended up happier a year after the divorce. So all in all, the women generally came out on top, despite the attempts of their exes. I think this generally holds true for life: the testosterone infused, "what's in it for me" attitude usually is no path to happiness.

It will be a long time before it flips. Women have an inherent disadvantage because when they have children they have to balance their work obligations with family obligations. This becomes an issue in more senior or demanding positions. I assure you that in the companies where I have worked, a woman who wanted time off with any frequency because of issues with her children would not get ahead and would be among the first to be laid off in the event of any reduction in workforce.

Yes, there are laws that prevent discrimination against women when it comes to pregnancy, etc but it is very difficult to prove when it does occur and a woman who chooses to sue will have to balance the likelihood of success with the adverse impact it may have on her career in the future.

The other thing is that women generally don't like working for female bosses for a variety of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am just laughing at all this bellyaching about men losing money. Listen, men, you are falling behind women. We are getting degrees at higher rates and only misogyny and the marriage penalty for women in the workplace is keeping your status as higher earning half secure. That will change. If anything, it is women who have to worry about financial matters in marriage, especially if we have children. How many deadbeat dads exist in the world? Deadbeat moms are a rare species.

Constantly carrying on about how much men stand to lose in marriage is silly and doesn't take into account the changing reality. There are plenty of women nowadays paying ne'er do well husbands alimony, and joint custody is increasingly the norm over sole custody. Often, sole custody is awarded because the husband didn't want custody lest he cramp his new bachelor lifestyle.

Besides, marriage is not compulsory. Stay single. Die earlier. Studies show unmarried men are shortlived across the board in comparison to married women, single women, and married men. Single women, however, live longest. So, you are doing us women a favor by not marrying us, lol.

Yep. I am a young woman (25) and after working for a family law firm, I would never, EVER get married without a prenup. The wage gap is expected to flip and I think men in general are inherently more lazy, more self interested than women. At the firm we saw a lot of men who basically wanted to use the kids as leverage to get to their ex. They would fight tooth and nail for some item that was worthless but meant a lot to the wife because "it's the principle of the thing." Most of the women, on the other hand, were mainly concerned with the kids and doing right by them and not worried about being vindictive or "getting even". I learned a lot about the nature of men and it wasn't pretty.

The good thing is, most of the people who got divorced and didn't try to be petty or vindictive actually got better settlements and also ended up happier a year after the divorce. So all in all, the women generally came out on top, despite the attempts of their exes. I think this generally holds true for life: the testosterone infused, "what's in it for me" attitude usually is no path to happiness.

Your view might be skewed but I do think women can get just as vindictive and petty in divorce settlements. Plus because they usually get custody, they can make it difficult or impossible for the ex to spend time with the kids. That I did see happen, and I think it's terribly unfair to men.

This is the truth. I am surprised that anyone would even question that this happens all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. This is why I'll never divorce and just have affairs.

When we married, we were making about the same money. He's 3 years older. His net worth was negative, and I had a house and several hundred thousand dollars. No way am I going to give him millions just because he was lucky enough to marry me.

Let's hope he doesn't file for divorce..........

Of course he won't. His name is inertia and his life is fabulous right now. Does little around the house, doesn't have to have sex very often. What more could a guy want?

Great answer!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are going to win this deal. They survive better in civil breakdown.

This is true. Just look at the past, suppression of women, women treated as property, chattel, no rights, not educated, etc. and it's true - law and order are the best protection for women.

Sadly, what we need protection from is men. The world would be a better place without the gender responsible for most rapes, murders, molestations, serial killings, school shootings, heck, even wars, genocides, etc. etc.

Right. So enjoy life without houses, TV's, phones, cars, food, and everything else men produce and build.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: LOL. The hit dog will holler, as the saying goes. The paunchy middle-age men are really turning out to prove my post right. I mean here you are: a single man who is supposed to be out there dating this bevy of beauties who are no doubt beating down your door, lol. Instead, here you are on a perfectly good weeknight trying and failing to tell me off on DCUM. Clearly, you are really killing it with the ladies. A full social calendar you have there. I am in my 30s and I still have my looks and waistline. There was an age gap between me and the lonely loser I posted about. I think his situation is hilarious. It is all of his own making. While he still had his looks and virility, he was contemptuous of women just like you bitter closet cases here are. Now, no self-respecting woman with options would ever give him a second look and he is full of regrets, Cialis, and antidepressants. He makes a good business contact and has sent me clients, so he is not all bad. But this situation is all his fault and I have not one bit of sympathy for him as I enjoy my husband and children and he spends the holidays alone.

I think you should stop because you are only proving the 'male attorney' PP correct. You sound entitled, vain, bitchy, and seem to define your identity around your earning potential. It's obvious that if we take away the latter from the equation, you would still be a rent-seeking opportunist trying to marry well to secure financial security.

You have proved the PP right, and frankly you are an embarrassment, and proves this whole thread right.

Not to be a jerk, but I think it's pretty obvious you're the PP she's responding to and you're just posing as someone else...

Ya, the male attorney (if he is even an attorney) has been cosigning himself throughout this thread, ha.

The writing style is the same in every post "agreeing" with him.

Your instincts are incorrect, as apparently more than one person can see how vile that biglaw chick is.

-male attorney

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. This is why I'll never divorce and just have affairs.

When we married, we were making about the same money. He's 3 years older. His net worth was negative, and I had a house and several hundred thousand dollars. No way am I going to give him millions just because he was lucky enough to marry me.

Let's hope he doesn't file for divorce..........

Of course he won't. His name is inertia and his life is fabulous right now. Does little around the house, doesn't have to have sex very often. What more could a guy want?

For his wife not to be fucking other men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. This is why I'll never divorce and just have affairs.

When we married, we were making about the same money. He's 3 years older. His net worth was negative, and I had a house and several hundred thousand dollars. No way am I going to give him millions just because he was lucky enough to marry me.

Let's hope he doesn't file for divorce..........

Of course he won't. His name is inertia and his life is fabulous right now. Does little around the house, doesn't have to have sex very often. What more could a guy want?

Great answer!!!!!!!

Let me turn it around:

Of course she won't. Her name is lethargy and her life is fabulous right now. Does little around the house other than sit on her ass or go shopping. She does not like having sex often. She claims she is a SAHM but the children are at school and she has a maid who comes weekly to clean the house. What more could any woman want?