Being lower middle class and living well

[Anonymous]

Totally naive.

We live in PG county because that's what we can afford. Our mortgage is still $2300. Groceries for a family of 4 averages $500/month. DCs goes to public school now but unless we move before middle school, they will be going to private for middle and high school. SO yeah, get back to us once you're married with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report back after you are married and have kids.

This. 1000 times this.

I am sorry but I have to agree with this. OP, based on what you write, you cannot afford to marry and have kids, or could barely afford it. Which is pretty much the central thing people are talking about when they say that the middle income american family cannot get by or get ahead.

So you don't think she and her boyfriend will receive a raise? Ever? How can they not afford to marry? It only costs around 100 dollars to marry! I would think even if they didn't make more money, they could float all of their expenses on his salary alone, she could stay home with kids and have some sort of side job.

She can stay at home in her group house with their kids? Because guess what, you can't really raise your children in a group house.

And yeah, DH and I live ultra frugally (always contribute max to retirement, absolutely no debt other than mortgage -- we paid off our student loans living frugally in our 20s and also saved up a $100K DP on an HHI of $80K, probably about the same takehome as the OP, and only about 5 years ago, so things weren't cheaper or anything).

OP absolutely can't afford kids the way she lives now. Just renting her own place in the city (with boyfriend) for kids would be like $1500 ore per month (for a TINY place) or buying would be that much more per month plus a hefty DP. She's living in la-la land if she thinks she can swing the next stage of her life living the way she does now.

[Anonymous]

You-all are amusing. There's no need to grab drinks and snacks when you are out with the kids. Contrary to popular opinion, children can go more than 2 hours without eating. Or drinking. If they get cranky, that is your poor parenting blaming your lax discipline on your children.

You cook. Take out is freaking ridiculous---if you're tired, scramble some eggs, call it supper. You actually can clean your own house. Get rid of 2/3 of the crap, or don't buy it in the first place, and the house will be cleaner. Especially toys. You really don't need them beyond some blocks.

[Anonymous]

Listen OP, there's an awful lot of real estate between the dipsh!its who whine about not being able to make it on 300k and being in your 20s, going to the bar with your friends, and ordering a water. Kudos for living within your means and saving but you should lighten up a bit, too.

[Anonymous]

OP went to a third-tier turd law school. Her HHI will never be very high. Not in an area saturated with people who went to good law schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen OP, there's an awful lot of real estate between the dipsh!its who whine about not being able to make it on 300k and being in your 20s, going to the bar with your friends, and ordering a water. Kudos for living within your means and saving but you should lighten up a bit, too.

+1

Get back to us in your 40s. Or better yet, look back at your OP and LAAAAAUGH at how silly you were in your 20s, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You-all are amusing. There's no need to grab drinks and snacks when you are out with the kids. Contrary to popular opinion, children can go more than 2 hours without eating. Or drinking. If they get cranky, that is your poor parenting blaming your lax discipline on your children.

You cook. Take out is freaking ridiculous---if you're tired, scramble some eggs, call it supper. You actually can clean your own house. Get rid of 2/3 of the crap, or don't buy it in the first place, and the house will be cleaner. Especially toys. You really don't need them beyond some blocks.

Yes it's snacks that take all our money, not the mortgage for decent schools..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Congratulations, OP - I did the same a long time ago.
Now I live with DH and 2 kids in a tiny but cute little dollhouse that still cost a fortune because it's in one of the better school districts. We could afford it on our middle class salary because we had lived frugally like you and had economized and invested successfully in the stock market.

Now we still live very frugally.

Our main expenses are the mortgage and food.
Our disposable income goes to extra-curricular activities for the kids and traveling to see our families overseas.

Keep saving, OP, and make what you can of your career, because kids are expensive.

The voice of experience. It is quite doable!

I'm the PP who lived like you. When DH and I got married and had DC1, we earned 60K total gross income, and all our money went to daycare. One bedroom apartment, which we kept until DC2 was a year old.
Now our gross HHI is 120K, I stay home, and we max out retirement and college savings plus have a little left over for travel to Europe and Asia every few years. But daily, we live a frugal lifestyle which my friends cannot probably imagine. The trick is to never spend spontaneously. Everything is budgeted and planned for, and with that comes a sense of control and satisfaction. Instead of feeling submerged by expenses and jealous of what others earn, I feel empowered by the good financial choices we make and how most of our money is invested.

Whet do you live and where does DH work? And what happens if he is laid off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report back after you are married and have kids.

This. 1000 times this.

I am sorry but I have to agree with this. OP, based on what you write, you cannot afford to marry and have kids, or could barely afford it. Which is pretty much the central thing people are talking about when they say that the middle income american family cannot get by or get ahead.

So you don't think she and her boyfriend will receive a raise? Ever? How can they not afford to marry? It only costs around 100 dollars to marry! I would think even if they didn't make more money, they could float all of their expenses on his salary alone, she could stay home with kids and have some sort of side job.

Her assertion is that she doesn't understand why people can't get buy on middle class incomes. So if she gets raises enough to make living in their own place they will no longer be just middle class. Or they will be short shifting their kids with crummy schools.

[Anonymous]

Why this post is garbage:

1. Most people don't have zero school debt. Just a fact. (I don't have any student loans, but most people DO).

2. OP is young and healthy. You don't stay young and healthy. People end up with medical bills or fertility treatments or get hurt in accidents. Living frugally can't erase the medical expenses if you're not lucky.

3. Living in a shared house is fine when you're 25. Not so fine when you're 45 and have two teens.

4. Good luck finding childcare for the measly $1400/month you save, OP. You can't ever afford to have kids unless you dramatically increase your salary AND keep up your spartan lifestyle (or I guess your kids can turn to being Freegans so you can send them dumpster diving, because sheesh, middle class kids expect to eat clean food from the grocery store, now?!).

Your little boho 20s lifestyle is all nice and good for your particular place in life, OP. I had a similar 20s experience.

What's funny to me is that you think you have something to "teach" others. You don't. Teenagers also don't spend much money, neither do college students! Because they aren't establishing a family, saving for 529s, paying for groceries for 4, dr appointments, preschool, private school, braces, etc. Your life does not resemble married parents' lives at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You-all are amusing. There's no need to grab drinks and snacks when you are out with the kids. Contrary to popular opinion, children can go more than 2 hours without eating. Or drinking. If they get cranky, that is your poor parenting blaming your lax discipline on your children.

You cook. Take out is freaking ridiculous---if you're tired, scramble some eggs, call it supper. You actually can clean your own house. Get rid of 2/3 of the crap, or don't buy it in the first place, and the house will be cleaner. Especially toys. You really don't need them beyond some blocks.

Yes it's snacks that take all our money, not the mortgage for decent schools..

+1

Or daycare/preschool so we can actually, you know, go to work.

OP, looks like your parents spent a little too little on your education. You're not much of a thinker, are you?

[Anonymous]

My friend spent her 20's like this and got so exhausted by having to micromanage every penny that she let go a bit and is actually having fun in her early 30's. There's a huge middle ground between monitoring every penny and soul crushing debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report back after you are married and have kids.

This. 1000 times this.

I am sorry but I have to agree with this. OP, based on what you write, you cannot afford to marry and have kids, or could barely afford it. Which is pretty much the central thing people are talking about when they say that the middle income american family cannot get by or get ahead.

So you don't think she and her boyfriend will receive a raise? Ever? How can they not afford to marry? It only costs around 100 dollars to marry! I would think even if they didn't make more money, they could float all of their expenses on his salary alone, she could stay home with kids and have some sort of side job.

She can stay at home in her group house with their kids? Because guess what, you can't really raise your children in a group house.

And yeah, DH and I live ultra frugally (always contribute max to retirement, absolutely no debt other than mortgage -- we paid off our student loans living frugally in our 20s and also saved up a $100K DP on an HHI of $80K, probably about the same takehome as the OP, and only about 5 years ago, so things weren't cheaper or anything).

OP absolutely can't afford kids the way she lives now. Just renting her own place in the city (with boyfriend) for kids would be like $1500 ore per month (for a TINY place) or buying would be that much more per month plus a hefty DP. She's living in la-la land if she thinks she can swing the next stage of her life living the way she does now.

Of course they won't live in a group house with kids. In five years I'm confident her SO will make enough money to rent a one bedroom (if not buy) and pay for groceries.

[Anonymous]

Wow from the posts it makes me reconsider having children. Life is so great saving 50 percent of our net,maxing out retirement and trveling. Having kids sounds like it blows.

[Anonymous]

These posters remind me of the women who told me I had to gain the freshmen ten or fifteen. I was thin but would gain no matter what. Guess what? I didn't. I'm sure if OP has figured a way to save so much now she can still figure out a way to do so with kids.

She is already light years ahead by realizing she doesn't need cable, an iPhone, newer cars and eating out.