What would you tell your 35 year old self?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Live below your means. Save, Save, Save and Invest. Cut up those DAMN credit cards since you can't seem to be responsible with them!

+1000 Credit is evil and it sucks away life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, thank you. I'm OP, just lost my brother (among other stresses) and needed this reminder.

Hugs, OP, I do promise it will get better.

[Anonymous]

Don't smoke.
Watch the knees.
Vit D.
Keep the marriage intact.

[Anonymous]

Cherish your parents; you don't know how much time you have left with them
Lose weight and get into an exercise routine you can sustain
Visit all those friends who are living abroad before they move on
Nurture your friendships and your marriage
Buy a decent goddamned mattress. Sleeping on that POS is going to ruin your back.

[Anonymous]

Prioritize

1) Health (including sexual health)
2) Marriage (including lots of sex)
3) Finances - live below your means, not be in debt, have a life style that can be sustained with one paycheck, maximize retirement savings,
4

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Prioritize

1) Health (including sexual health)
2) Marriage (including lots of sex, a good sexlife is the glue that makes the bond stronger) and family
3) Finances - live below your means, not be in debt, have a life style that can be sustained with one paycheck, maximize retirement savings,
4) Make your health insurance work for you - begin your year by getting all the wellness visits, eye exams, breast, prostate exams, dental work and other specialist work out of the way. Your deductibles should be used towards that in the beginning of the year. Maintain a record of everything.
5) Have a will in place
6) Get some additional qualifications, skillsets under your belt and look for another job if you hate your job.
7) Kids come before work. The more time you spend with them, the more they will thrive. This is unlike your work.
8) Forgive family. Have a relationship with everyone - parents, ILs, siblings. Realize that with some you will have strong relationships and with some a limited one.
9) Live as minimalistically as you can. This will free up lots of time and space.

Hit the button too soon.

[Anonymous]

Have kids before you turn 40 and preferably before you turn 35. It is too hard to have them after 40 and you may be looking at expensive fertility treatments, that is, if you want biological children.

[Anonymous]

34 year old here very appreciative of this thread. I didn't realize knees were such a big thing. Pleased to have my no-credit, no-buying-crap beliefs validated!

[Anonymous]

32 year old here, SO glad to have stumbled on this thread. Literally tearing up at some of the wonderful advice.

[Anonymous]

You look great! Smile and have lots of fun. Make new friends but don't get hung up when they don't stay that way. Don't take that cool new job at that software company.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give anything to have my sweet little family back. I would make sure that I hugged my kids every day and told them that I loved them. I probably did, but I'm not sure now. I would have put my job LAST- I would LEAN OUT ( yep, Sheryl Sandberg, you are dead wrong...) I would make sure that our finances were better by never going into debt except for our house. I would do more with my parents and included them in things more. I would have stopped thinking about the future and would have been more mindful about the present.


My kids are adults now- living their own lives. My Mom died and my father is dying. It all happened so fast it seems. It really is so few years that that you have in this wonderful chaotic circus..and then...it stops.

Crying reading this. Thanks so much for the reminder.

-39 year old Mom of two

[Anonymous]

Travel more and make more memories with your kids.

Laugh more as it really is just one moment in time.

Your kids will grow out of the annoying teen years and actually have a conversation longer than one syllable.

Let the "stuff" go. It really is much more than it seems and is a nightmare when its time to downsize.

Use your good things! Enjoy them!

[Anonymous]

Even if you are not close to your parents, you will feel strangely alone once they pass. Be nice to them now and listen to all their little bits of advice. Focus on your family and create a strong unit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Live below your means. Save, Save, Save and Invest. Cut up those DAMN credit cards since you can't seem to be responsible with them!

+1000 Credit is evil and it sucks away life.

This is a bit extreme. Use credit and make it work for you...take advantage of 0% offers, but only if you NEED the item. Buy the best you can afford. Don't wasye money on cheap junk. Discipline is the key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will get MUCH easier when the kids get a little older and don't need be watched every single second. Even then, it will seem like they will be little forever; but one day you will blink and they'll be big kids, and you'll wonder how you will survive without the babies who needed you so much. Then they'll turn into charming and intelligent people who will be so much more fun than little kids, and you'll wish they could stick around forever while you start planning to help them leave.

If you are working full time, keep in mind that they may start to need you more in the afternoons when they hit middle school.

Oh, and you will lose the extra pounds when you have a little more time for yourself. Don't worry about it and buy some nice things to wear in the meantime.

Crying reading this. 35 and holding my sleeping DC2. I already feel like I can't believe how fast his babyhood has gone.

But your post (and my sweet DC1) gives me hope - just don't know how I can handle not ever doing this hard but rewarding baby stuff again. I really don't know what I will do when I'm an empty nester. I didn't expect to find motherhood to be so amazing and so much better than my career or hobbies ever were.