So what bad stuff does happen at frat and sorority events?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know about 2 gang rapes at frats at Hampton Sydney in the 1980s; went to college with both girls. Doesn't include all the date rapes I heard about, with some guys adulterating drinks and weed.

I knew frat guys at other colleges who called the "regular" girls who would come to their parties "coke whores and shroom sluts"--again in 80s Virginia -- basically girls came in and did drugs, and it was perceived they were there to do whatever the guys wanted.

After my freshman year I stayed away from all frats, especially the ones with the richer guys. When I did go to a party I got my own drink and did not let it out of my sight. My friends and I made agreements to stick together and I'm so glad we did.

Did you go to Sweet Briar, RMWC, Hollins or Mary Baldwin? I went to one of the women's colleges in the late 80s and I could see it have easily happening but never heard of it from someone I knew. I hung out at different times at W&L, H-S and UVA but I pretty much always had a boyfriend. Still, bad stuff certainly went on and everyone was always drunk as hell.

Yep, went to one of the VA women's colleges. And, these incidents were ones with people I knew. My observation: if you had a steady boyfriend who "protected" you, you were ok. Otherwise, you really had to watch alcohol consumption or make sure your friends looked out for each other. Yep, everyone was always drunk at social events and this was few years after the drinking age had changed to 21. I think the colleges have tried to make social events less about alcohol now, but afraid they might have just driven it behind closed doors even more than it was in the 80s.

Yes indeed I think we were in that social whirl at the same time - really scary, raunchy behavior. your right too, a girl without a boyfriend was fair game for anyone. I dont think there were gang rapes but who the hell knows... Stories are coming back to me that make we wonder why we didnt questions more. Lots of that bnehavior was really messed up. How about Phi Kappa Snappa? Or remember when it all came out about the Phi Delt who killed a fellow female student at W&L in a drunken hit and run (she was wlaking on the side of the road) and he and his fraternity bros lied and hid it for months... Most of the guys involved were BMOCs at W&L. Nothing much happened to the other guys if I recall...

[Anonymous]

My cousin told me she witnessed someone stapling their head with a staple gun at a frat party at UT-Austin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get why parents pay $50k+ a year for kids to party. Send them to state schools and if they want to blow their money and go to sorority/fraternity parties -- all the better.

The sad things is that it happens at frats at state schools and private schools without them. Plenty of men on college campus who think the "play hard" part of college means get drunk whenever possible, plow women with alcohol so they can hookup and use women, makeup names and chants about women to put them down, and yes some rape them. Parents pay a lot of money for college but turn a blind eye to the horrible social scene they are paying for their kids to be a part of.

Interesting that you don't think the first bolded statement can be considered rape.

[Anonymous]

I was in a fraternity and we never had a problem with sexual assault, abuse or the like. We were also the only house I know of that actually didn't haze members. A fraternity or sorority that hazes is the type of place that fosters the kind of abuse reported.

I don't think throwing the greek system off campuses will solve the problem, because social clubs will continue off campus. My school threw ZBT off campus for hazing and they just became on unaffiliated social club off campus.

I wish I had a good solution. The fact of the matter is that individuals will do things in a group that they would never do on their own. Add lots of alcohol to that and the problem gets worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a fraternity and we never had a problem with sexual assault, abuse or the like. We were also the only house I know of that actually didn't haze members. A fraternity or sorority that hazes is the type of place that fosters the kind of abuse reported.

I don't think throwing the greek system off campuses will solve the problem, because social clubs will continue off campus. My school threw ZBT off campus for hazing and they just became on unaffiliated social club off campus.

I wish I had a good solution. The fact of the matter is that individuals will do things in a group that they would never do on their own. Add lots of alcohol to that and the problem gets worse.

The solution is for men to stop feeling entitled to women's bodies and to stop raping people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a fraternity and we never had a problem with sexual assault, abuse or the like. We were also the only house I know of that actually didn't haze members. A fraternity or sorority that hazes is the type of place that fosters the kind of abuse reported.

I don't think throwing the greek system off campuses will solve the problem, because social clubs will continue off campus. My school threw ZBT off campus for hazing and they just became on unaffiliated social club off campus.

I wish I had a good solution. The fact of the matter is that individuals will do things in a group that they would never do on their own. Add lots of alcohol to that and the problem gets worse.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I BELIEVE THE HORRIBLE AND HORRIFYING STORY OF THE 7 BOYS RAPING A GIRL AT UVA. This This This This This!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a fraternity and we never had a problem with sexual assault, abuse or the like. We were also the only house I know of that actually didn't haze members. A fraternity or sorority that hazes is the type of place that fosters the kind of abuse reported.

I don't think throwing the greek system off campuses will solve the problem, because social clubs will continue off campus. My school threw ZBT off campus for hazing and they just became on unaffiliated social club off campus.

I wish I had a good solution. The fact of the matter is that individuals will do things in a group that they would never do on their own. Add lots of alcohol to that and the problem gets worse.

The solution is for men to stop feeling entitled to women's bodies and to stop raping people.

Yes, but that happens well before the man goes to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a fraternity and we never had a problem with sexual assault, abuse or the like. We were also the only house I know of that actually didn't haze members. A fraternity or sorority that hazes is the type of place that fosters the kind of abuse reported.

I don't think throwing the greek system off campuses will solve the problem, because social clubs will continue off campus. My school threw ZBT off campus for hazing and they just became on unaffiliated social club off campus.

I wish I had a good solution. The fact of the matter is that individuals will do things in a group that they would never do on their own. Add lots of alcohol to that and the problem gets worse.

The solution is for men to stop feeling entitled to women's bodies and to stop raping people.

Well, the UVA type stories are about a culture of entitled individuals who have not been held accountable to anything during their lives. In the UVA case, this even goes to the group of friends who counseled their friend to not get help or report to the police for fear of social backlash. They feared not being part of the entitled group so much that they were willing to keep this egregious act secret, therefore the entitlement was allowed to continue.

[Anonymous]

All the more reason why people should take a "gap year" between high school and college, so that they have time to grow up and get their priorities in order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was super active in greek life in college. With that being said, I had two friends die, one from alcohol poisoning and another from drugs, after frat parties. Another friend of mine was raped, given a drug and passed out and when she woke up something was raping her. I was also the GF of a frat guy and had guys expect that I would be passed around to them as a "present" (their words) when my BF (their frat bro) was done with me. Seen people go into shock from drugs, had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance, from drugs. All of that stuff with the exception of the two deaths, got brushed under the rug and never touched by any media. But I saw much of it with my own eyes and talked to my friend about her rape and saw the pain in her eyes. The older I get the more I realize how dangerous that scene is, even though it can be a lot of fun.

WTF? Did you go to University of Compton?

How is that we are talking about abuses perpetrated by white affluent kids and you somehow manage to take a swipe at a black city? WTF? The black commnity has enough of its own issues without being associated with degraded white culture.

Seriously-and in addition to the fact that if 7 black men raped a white woman they would be considered animals who should be put down, but if it's "nice" white college boys they must've just gotten too drunk and made some bad choices.

Or, she's making the whole thing up and is now in jail for murder.

[Anonymous]

After reading other posts, I don't get the mindset that the girls who had a boyfriend in a frat were protected and the other girls were fair game. What are "girlfriends" property to be protected and other girls are to be abused. What is this, the mafia? Who would have one of these losers as a boyfriend? There is some real f**ked up way of thinking going on in those frats and sororities. The scary part is these people graduate and are released into the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After reading other posts, I don't get the mindset that the girls who had a boyfriend in a frat were protected and the other girls were fair game. What are "girlfriends" property to be protected and other girls are to be abused. What is this, the mafia? Who would have one of these losers as a boyfriend? There is some real f**ked up way of thinking going on in those frats and sororities. The scary part is these people graduate and are released into the real world.

They work for finance companies and are lobbyists. It was good training... raping people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a fraternity and we never had a problem with sexual assault, abuse or the like. We were also the only house I know of that actually didn't haze members. A fraternity or sorority that hazes is the type of place that fosters the kind of abuse reported.

I don't think throwing the greek system off campuses will solve the problem, because social clubs will continue off campus. My school threw ZBT off campus for hazing and they just became on unaffiliated social club off campus.

I wish I had a good solution. The fact of the matter is that individuals will do things in a group that they would never do on their own. Add lots of alcohol to that and the problem gets worse.

The solution is for men to stop feeling entitled to women's bodies and to stop raping people.

X2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There ought to be a night nationwide in which victims place ribbons or flags in front of the locations where they were attacked. I think that would be rather eye-opening.

Wow, what a great idea. I wonder though, if it would be difficult and anxiety producing for victims to do that.

Was at Penn in (late) 1980s, early 90s. There was an infamous "train" rape at a fraternity - covered on 60 Minutes... Lots of Take Back the Night rallies, writing names of sex offenders on library walls, faculty book called Fraternity Date Rape (reissued in later editions: http://www.amazon.com/Fraternity-Gang-Rape-Brotherhood-Privilege/dp/0814740383/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1416949879&sr=8-2&keywords=peggy+reeves+sanday) etc... and mocking skits on SNL (may I touch you here?)

Fast forward 25ish years... rinse, lather, repeat - privilege is as privilege does... and schools sweep stats under the rug b/c no one wants to send their daughters to the rapist schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think everyone knows that these things happen at frat/sorority parties. If you went to college, then none of this is new.

I went to college and was shocked at the accusation of gang rape at UVA. Everyone know these thing happen? None of this is new? Really?

Really? I went to an Ivy and wasn't surprised by it at all, because I knew the same thing happened while I was at school.