Someone called me out in front of my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's sad that some people feel a personal insult to "having" to pretend Santa is real. Think about the last time you had real, true magic in your life. Or even breathless anticipation and excitement. Think about the next time you'll have it. For most of us as adults, we almost never experience these things anymore. But for a brief time, kids still get to and Christmas/Santa is one of those times. Why take it away from them just to prove you are intellectually superior and too pragmatic to continue an illusion? Why not just let them have it while they're little and still can? They have a lifetime of bills and worry and job stress and taxes and reality ahead of them. Why not just let them have the fun and magic that little kids should have? It doesn't hurt you one bit to just keep your mouth shut and let them believe.

I assume that you didn't mean to imply that parents who don't do Santa are depriving their children of an integral part of childhood.

As for me, my parents didn't pretend to me that Santa was real, because my parents didn't celebrate Christmas, and I didn't pretend that Santa was real to my kids, because I don't celebrate Christmas. That doesn't mean that I should run around collaring random children and telling them that Santa isn't real. But it also doesn't mean that when I'm out in public, I must pretend that Santa is real, just in case I'm overheard by the child of somebody who pretends that Santa is real.

Nobody is asking you to pretend Santa is real. The mall doesn't require you to dress up as an elf and walk around asking kids what they want. But maybe save the "Santa isn't real" conversations for home and ask your kids not to discourage those kids who do believe because for a lot of people, Santa is something that is a huge part of childhood. It's not even about presents. It's just about this amazing belief that once a year, something totally magical happens when you're sleeping. It's exciting, and so brief. Nobody cares if you don't buy in but it's not necessary to ruin it for other kids by saying, in a mall, where Santa is currently set up "SANTA ISNT REAL!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nobody is asking you to pretend Santa is real. The mall doesn't require you to dress up as an elf and walk around asking kids what they want. But maybe save the "Santa isn't real" conversations for home and ask your kids not to discourage those kids who do believe because for a lot of people, Santa is something that is a huge part of childhood. It's not even about presents. It's just about this amazing belief that once a year, something totally magical happens when you're sleeping. It's exciting, and so brief. Nobody cares if you don't buy in but it's not necessary to ruin it for other kids by saying, in a mall, where Santa is currently set up "SANTA ISNT REAL!"

Nobody on this thread has done this, or advocated doing it.

[Anonymous]

OP your decision to tell your child that Santa isn't real is fine. However don't go ruin it for the rest of us who enjoy making December a magical time for our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's sad that some people feel a personal insult to "having" to pretend Santa is real. Think about the last time you had real, true magic in your life. Or even breathless anticipation and excitement. Think about the next time you'll have it. For most of us as adults, we almost never experience these things anymore. But for a brief time, kids still get to and Christmas/Santa is one of those times. Why take it away from them just to prove you are intellectually superior and too pragmatic to continue an illusion? Why not just let them have it while they're little and still can? They have a lifetime of bills and worry and job stress and taxes and reality ahead of them. Why not just let them have the fun and magic that little kids should have? It doesn't hurt you one bit to just keep your mouth shut and let them believe.

I assume that you didn't mean to imply that parents who don't do Santa are depriving their children of an integral part of childhood.

As for me, my parents didn't pretend to me that Santa was real, because my parents didn't celebrate Christmas, and I didn't pretend that Santa was real to my kids, because I don't celebrate Christmas. That doesn't mean that I should run around collaring random children and telling them that Santa isn't real. But it also doesn't mean that when I'm out in public, I must pretend that Santa is real, just in case I'm overheard by the child of somebody who pretends that Santa is real.

Nobody is asking you to pretend Santa is real. The mall doesn't require you to dress up as an elf and walk around asking kids what they want. But maybe save the "Santa isn't real" conversations for home and ask your kids not to discourage those kids who do believe because for a lot of people, Santa is something that is a huge part of childhood. It's not even about presents. It's just about this amazing belief that once a year, something totally magical happens when you're sleeping. It's exciting, and so brief. Nobody cares if you don't buy in but it's not necessary to ruin it for other kids by saying, in a mall, where Santa is currently set up "SANTA ISNT REAL!"

Well, actually, when your kid asks if Santa is real and you don't answer -- you are pretending Santa is real. Which is ridiculous to those of us who are not Christian and did not grow up believing in Santa.

[Anonymous]

You were called out for refusing to perpetuate a lie.
But it's the Father Christmas lie, sacrosanct for decades for Europeans and Americans.

Try to be more discreet next time, please!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You were called out for refusing to perpetuate a lie.
But it's the Father Christmas lie, sacrosanct for decades for Europeans and Americans.

Try to be more discreet next time, please!

It is a white lie in the same category as people go to heaven when they die. Designed to help make people feel better.

So, you are free to do as you see fit. Maybe even tell the lady to mind her business. However, it is a good learning opportunity for your kid about social norms and maybe you can tell her how it is important to speak in a lower volume and not offend people.

My kids always knew that Santa was a legend. They knew that parents and relatives were buying them presents (because it is written on the present, no?) . It did not take away their joy about Christmas or Santa at all.

[Anonymous]

I came in here ready to say you should have told the lady MYOB - but if she could hear you in a public space, that means you were being loud. I don't want to question your motives, but don't be that santimonious mom OP. It's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's sad that some people feel a personal insult to "having" to pretend Santa is real. Think about the last time you had real, true magic in your life. Or even breathless anticipation and excitement. Think about the next time you'll have it. For most of us as adults, we almost never experience these things anymore. But for a brief time, kids still get to and Christmas/Santa is one of those times. Why take it away from them just to prove you are intellectually superior and too pragmatic to continue an illusion? Why not just let them have it while they're little and still can? They have a lifetime of bills and worry and job stress and taxes and reality ahead of them. Why not just let them have the fun and magic that little kids should have? It doesn't hurt you one bit to just keep your mouth shut and let them believe.

I assume that you didn't mean to imply that parents who don't do Santa are depriving their children of an integral part of childhood.

As for me, my parents didn't pretend to me that Santa was real, because my parents didn't celebrate Christmas, and I didn't pretend that Santa was real to my kids, because I don't celebrate Christmas. That doesn't mean that I should run around collaring random children and telling them that Santa isn't real. But it also doesn't mean that when I'm out in public, I must pretend that Santa is real, just in case I'm overheard by the child of somebody who pretends that Santa is real.

Nobody is asking you to pretend Santa is real. The mall doesn't require you to dress up as an elf and walk around asking kids what they want. But maybe save the "Santa isn't real" conversations for home and ask your kids not to discourage those kids who do believe because for a lot of people, Santa is something that is a huge part of childhood. It's not even about presents. It's just about this amazing belief that once a year, something totally magical happens when you're sleeping. It's exciting, and so brief. Nobody cares if you don't buy in but it's not necessary to ruin it for other kids by saying, in a mall, where Santa is currently set up "SANTA ISNT REAL!"

Well, actually, when your kid asks if Santa is real and you don't answer -- you are pretending Santa is real. Which is ridiculous to those of us who are not Christian and did not grow up believing in Santa.

That's such crap. Nothing is stopping you from saying "that's a great question, and I want to talk with you about it but let's wait till we're in the car". And then tell them the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up Muslim, and therefore not believing in Santa. Sorry to be such a debbie downer, but I'm with OP. I have nothing against Christmas (in the religious or secular sense), but in public, you can't expect everyone else to cater to your beliefs or lies you tell your kid. But then again I find the whole Santa myth really kind of weird and messed up.

You don't have to be a jerk though and blurt out in front of a bunch of kids in a mall with Santa that Santa isn't real. Come on. That just makes OP an asshole.

OP said that OP was out in public, and there was a man in a Santa suit. OP did not say that OP was at the mall with a bunch of kids who were there to see Santa.

Are you generally this obtuse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's sad that some people feel a personal insult to "having" to pretend Santa is real. Think about the last time you had real, true magic in your life. Or even breathless anticipation and excitement. Think about the next time you'll have it. For most of us as adults, we almost never experience these things anymore. But for a brief time, kids still get to and Christmas/Santa is one of those times. Why take it away from them just to prove you are intellectually superior and too pragmatic to continue an illusion? Why not just let them have it while they're little and still can? They have a lifetime of bills and worry and job stress and taxes and reality ahead of them. Why not just let them have the fun and magic that little kids should have? It doesn't hurt you one bit to just keep your mouth shut and let them believe.

I assume that you didn't mean to imply that parents who don't do Santa are depriving their children of an integral part of childhood.

As for me, my parents didn't pretend to me that Santa was real, because my parents didn't celebrate Christmas, and I didn't pretend that Santa was real to my kids, because I don't celebrate Christmas. That doesn't mean that I should run around collaring random children and telling them that Santa isn't real. But it also doesn't mean that when I'm out in public, I must pretend that Santa is real, just in case I'm overheard by the child of somebody who pretends that Santa is real.

Nobody is asking you to pretend Santa is real. The mall doesn't require you to dress up as an elf and walk around asking kids what they want. But maybe save the "Santa isn't real" conversations for home and ask your kids not to discourage those kids who do believe because for a lot of people, Santa is something that is a huge part of childhood. It's not even about presents. It's just about this amazing belief that once a year, something totally magical happens when you're sleeping. It's exciting, and so brief. Nobody cares if you don't buy in but it's not necessary to ruin it for other kids by saying, in a mall, where Santa is currently set up "SANTA ISNT REAL!"

Well, actually, when your kid asks if Santa is real and you don't answer -- you are pretending Santa is real. Which is ridiculous to those of us who are not Christian and did not grow up believing in Santa.

NP here. And you dont have to lie but you then bend down and whisper in your kids ear you will tell him about it later or if you have to get it out immediately you tell them EXTREMELY QUIETLY. If you have to tell them immediately in front of other kids you then risk them screaming it out in front of other kids.

This really is not a hard concept for any polite adult to understand. If you want to be an asshole, be an asshole, but do not hide behind what you are really doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nobody is asking you to pretend Santa is real. The mall doesn't require you to dress up as an elf and walk around asking kids what they want. But maybe save the "Santa isn't real" conversations for home and ask your kids not to discourage those kids who do believe because for a lot of people, Santa is something that is a huge part of childhood. It's not even about presents. It's just about this amazing belief that once a year, something totally magical happens when you're sleeping. It's exciting, and so brief. Nobody cares if you don't buy in but it's not necessary to ruin it for other kids by saying, in a mall, where Santa is currently set up "SANTA ISNT REAL!"

Nobody on this thread has done this, or advocated doing it.

Actually it sounds like pretty much what OP did and is now offended for having been cautioned about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Nobody is asking you to pretend Santa is real. The mall doesn't require you to dress up as an elf and walk around asking kids what they want. But maybe save the "Santa isn't real" conversations for home and ask your kids not to discourage those kids who do believe because for a lot of people, Santa is something that is a huge part of childhood. It's not even about presents. It's just about this amazing belief that once a year, something totally magical happens when you're sleeping. It's exciting, and so brief. Nobody cares if you don't buy in but it's not necessary to ruin it for other kids by saying, in a mall, where Santa is currently set up "SANTA ISNT REAL!"

Nobody on this thread has done this, or advocated doing it.

Actually it sounds like pretty much what OP did and is now offended for having been cautioned about.

Really? Where did OP say that OP was shouting at a mall, where kids were in line for Santa?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up Muslim, and therefore not believing in Santa. Sorry to be such a debbie downer, but I'm with OP. I have nothing against Christmas (in the religious or secular sense), but in public, you can't expect everyone else to cater to your beliefs or lies you tell your kid. But then again I find the whole Santa myth really kind of weird and messed up.

You don't have to be a jerk though and blurt out in front of a bunch of kids in a mall with Santa that Santa isn't real. Come on. That just makes OP an asshole.

OP said that OP was out in public, and there was a man in a Santa suit. OP did not say that OP was at the mall with a bunch of kids who were there to see Santa.

Are you generally this obtuse?

Why do you ask this? I've seen Santas in many public places that were not the Meet Santa! set-up at the mall. What I'm surprised about is the OP seeing a man in a Santa suit anywhere on November 12.

[Anonymous]

OP - I'm actually kind of torn on this. My 6-year-old believes Santa is real. But she knows the guys in the santa suits are not Santa - they're just people playing Santa.

But I would never say "Santa isn't real" or "Santa doesn't exist" in a place where someone else's kid could hear me because I don't want to be that person who ruins santa for someone else. There's such a short timeframe for believing in the magic of Santa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope all of you people asking everyone to be respectful and check around before talking about Santa are also respectful and wish people Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. Seems like the respect should travel two ways.

I always say "Happy Holidays"