Do women pretty much all hate each other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Are you married, have a girlfriend? Daughters? A mother, sisters? Do you think they're all petty and hateful? Are you not personally close to any women who are good, loving people?

If this is your impression of "all women" then I think you need to cultivate some close relationships with a broader set of women.

Women, like men, are not all alike. There are mean, petty, judgmental people of both genders.

Yes, there is in the culture a subset of "mean girls" and "queen bees", just as there are male jerks and a-holes. It's just that men find it easier to let out their aggression on women and have more socially-acceptable ways to let out their hostilities.

But, no, women are not naturally or generally nastier or meaner than men as a group.

I think you must not have many quality relationships with good women if you're painting half of the world's population with that brush.

This.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Men have a certain understanding of the men around them and whether or not they could take them in a fight. Women have the same pecking order thing going on, but it's done with social aggression (mean girls). Insecure women are always worried about where they fall in the order. Any challenge to the standing results in some bitchiness.

The challenges are most likely to be a work, parenting or sexual attention issue.

[Anonymous]

Weird thread. Not in my universe. Surrounded by wonderful women, deep friends who know all my character flaws as well as acquaintance friends.

Queen bee behavior in your forties? Find a therapist stat.

[Anonymous]

I have witnessed a lot of cat fighting in my job.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe it's just garden variety office politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or maybe it's just garden variety office politics.

Yes, that only gets labeled as "cat fighting" or "mean girl" behavior when done by women. So much of it is the usual disparity in how people label male and female behavior - assertive versus bitchy, ambitious versus back-stabbing, leadership versus bitchiness, competitive as an attribute versus competitiveness as flaw.

[Anonymous]

NP: I don't think that women hate all other women, but I'll just say that women who think that people equate assertiveness with bitchiness often just have poor people skills, and don't realize it.

It's quite possible for women to assert themselves without being perceived as a "bitch."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a male, and I often find myself in a position to observe women interacting with each other, and from what I can tell they all pretty much hate each other, both overtly and covertly. My kids attend an all-girls school and you can see how it begins in middle school and carries forward through high school. The women I work with trash on each other relentlessly behind each other's backs. Ditto for the moms when I volunteer at school. They're mostly cliquey and exclusive, and seem to have no problem talking shit about (or to) each other.

No. The women in my work support one another and have a lot of fun together. I would have been miserable without them.

Same here. I haven't dealt with mean girl stuff since high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it is true. Most women just think it is part of being "friends". This accounts for the others' responses

No, not in my experience. But that could've been because I have tended to befriend confident, kind women. It isn't hard. Tons of them at work and in college and grad school. If someone is mean to someone else, I'm just not going to be friends with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You pretty much hit the nail right on the head OP.

It does start in middle school + goes all the way into adulthood.

Women are just competitive, catty, gossipy and extremely judgmental of one another by nature it seems.

Men are so much more laid back about things.

When women get in disagreements, it usually is the end of the world (at least for them.) They usually make mountains out of molehills and may not speak to each other for years over something so minor. Women like to carry grudges since they have so much pride.

Men have a lot of pride as well, however they tend to shy away from any type of drama.

Men can argue on second w/one another, then the next they can be so over it.

Um, if adult women in your world are still acting like middle schoolers, they are not normal.

[Anonymous]

OP, I find that more successful, accomplished happy, secure women are nicer than those who are not. Those who are not tend to be less friendly.