Would you let a just-turned-12-YO walk over a mile to a friend's house alone?

[Anonymous]

Yes. My kid rode his bike to school every day from fourth grade on. He crossed a busy road beginning in sixth. He crossed at a light.

[Anonymous]

I used to walk home from middle school with my neighbor. According to google maps, it was exactly 1 mile. Though I think we took some short cuts through people's properties that an older student showed us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is wanting more freedom. He has plans with a friend later in the week and wants to walk there himself. It is probably about a mile and a quarter or so away, and it involves crossing two major intersections. I am very reluctant, but then I think perhaps I'm being overprotective and need a reality check. Thoughts? TIA.

Oh HELL no. No way in hell would I let my kid do this. I don't care how mature your he is. Outside of the fact that he has to cross two intersections - which is very dangerous for even adults to do anymore, there are way too many crazies out there just looking for opportunities to do horrible things.

I live in downtown Bethesda and the number of insane and distracted drivers who fly through intersections - WHILE there are pedestrians crossing is mind boggling.

[Anonymous]

Of course I would. The parents that won't let grown kids out of their sight for a minute because of "what ifs" are mentally unstable. It is their issue, not their kids. I feel sorry for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is wanting more freedom. He has plans with a friend later in the week and wants to walk there himself. It is probably about a mile and a quarter or so away, and it involves crossing two major intersections. I am very reluctant, but then I think perhaps I'm being overprotective and need a reality check. Thoughts? TIA.

Oh HELL no. No way in hell would I let my kid do this. I don't care how mature your he is. Outside of the fact that he has to cross two intersections - which is very dangerous for even adults to do anymore, there are way too many crazies out there just looking for opportunities to do horrible things.

I live in downtown Bethesda and the number of insane and distracted drivers who fly through intersections - WHILE there are pedestrians crossing is mind boggling.

Yes, the county and the state have to get together to fix the road design here. At the very least, the road design has to slow down the drivers. It is ridiculous that kids can't walk places safely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is the worst reason not to do it. Its one thing if they have to cross Rockville Pike, but you cannot lock them up forever because bad people live in the world. Driving a car is WAY WAY WAY more dangerous. You are being over protective and you could really stunt your children/

I am merely responding to the OP's question about what I would allow my kids to do in one particular situation. What other do with their kids do not actually concern me much. Thankfully, people we do associate with who have children my kids are friends with have similar parenting philosophy so it works for us.

Are you the same mom who won't let her child sleep over at another child's home because your afraid that a parent could be a child molester?

[Anonymous]

Not to scare your child, but I would make sure they know never to go up to a car that pulled over. Looking back, I had few experiences like this. I was probably 13. I had some really creepy guys pull over. One tried to pretend he knew me. He keep guessing friends' names of mine. He was a way older man.
I never even told my Mom. This was considered a really nice neighborhood, that has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

PP here. One other thing I forgot to add. He was definitely trying to get me in the car. Having said all that, I probably would let my kids at that age. Just as long as they are street smart.

[Anonymous]

Have you not kept up with how many MCPS HS students in the past 2-3 years have had fatal injuries crossing the road on their way to school. Google it. There are some maniacs on the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you not kept up with how many MCPS HS students in the past 2-3 years have had fatal injuries crossing the road on their way to school. Google it. There are some maniacs on the street.

How many? I can only think of one (which is one too many).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course I would. The parents that won't let grown kids out of their sight for a minute because of "what ifs" are mentally unstable. It is their issue, not their kids. I feel sorry for them.

I also live in Bethesda and would not. Its not about my child, its about the lack of infrastructure development in this area. Twenty years ago, the roads/crosswalks/lights were the same as they are now and I would have let my child walk to and from school. Now, no, the roads/crosswalks/lights are the same but the amount of traffic and pedestrians in the area is not. It is dangerous and, the rise of pedestrian fatalities proves this. My child was struck in a crosswalk, crossing legally because a driver was more interested in turning right on red without stopping, fyi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course I would. The parents that won't let grown kids out of their sight for a minute because of "what ifs" are mentally unstable. It is their issue, not their kids. I feel sorry for them.

I also live in Bethesda and would not. Its not about my child, its about the lack of infrastructure development in this area. Twenty years ago, the roads/crosswalks/lights were the same as they are now and I would have let my child walk to and from school. Now, no, the roads/crosswalks/lights are the same but the amount of traffic and pedestrians in the area is not. It is dangerous and, the rise of pedestrian fatalities proves this. My child was struck in a crosswalk, crossing legally because a driver was more interested in turning right on red without stopping, fyi.

So when they are a teenager you won't let them walk or drive? Too dangerous, correct? If you teach a child to drive, they could still get hit and killed. Every minute of every day. Do you not let them get their driver's license? So if you teach a child to navigate the streets and walk correctly, there is always that chance but they need to learn. You can not bubble wrap your kid every second of every day. School busses get into accidents, school shootings, etc... Do you not let your child go to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course I would. The parents that won't let grown kids out of their sight for a minute because of "what ifs" are mentally unstable. It is their issue, not their kids. I feel sorry for them.

I also live in Bethesda and would not. Its not about my child, its about the lack of infrastructure development in this area. Twenty years ago, the roads/crosswalks/lights were the same as they are now and I would have let my child walk to and from school. Now, no, the roads/crosswalks/lights are the same but the amount of traffic and pedestrians in the area is not. It is dangerous and, the rise of pedestrian fatalities proves this. My child was struck in a crosswalk, crossing legally because a driver was more interested in turning right on red without stopping, fyi.

So when they are a teenager you won't let them walk or drive? Too dangerous, correct? If you teach a child to drive, they could still get hit and killed. Every minute of every day. Do you not let them get their driver's license? So if you teach a child to navigate the streets and walk correctly, there is always that chance but they need to learn. You can not bubble wrap your kid every second of every day. School busses get into accidents, school shootings, etc... Do you not let your child go to school?

I think that there is a meaningful difference between "I will not let my specific child, aged [specific age], walk in this specific place" and "I will not ever let my child do anything anywhere ever". Especially when PP's child was actually hit by a driver in a crosswalk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course I would. The parents that won't let grown kids out of their sight for a minute because of "what ifs" are mentally unstable. It is their issue, not their kids. I feel sorry for them.

I also live in Bethesda and would not. Its not about my child, its about the lack of infrastructure development in this area. Twenty years ago, the roads/crosswalks/lights were the same as they are now and I would have let my child walk to and from school. Now, no, the roads/crosswalks/lights are the same but the amount of traffic and pedestrians in the area is not. It is dangerous and, the rise of pedestrian fatalities proves this. My child was struck in a crosswalk, crossing legally because a driver was more interested in turning right on red without stopping, fyi.

So when they are a teenager you won't let them walk or drive? Too dangerous, correct? If you teach a child to drive, they could still get hit and killed. Every minute of every day. Do you not let them get their driver's license? So if you teach a child to navigate the streets and walk correctly, there is always that chance but they need to learn. You can not bubble wrap your kid every second of every day. School busses get into accidents, school shootings, etc... Do you not let your child go to school?

I think that there is a meaningful difference between "I will not let my specific child, aged [specific age], walk in this specific place" and "I will not ever let my child do anything anywhere ever". Especially when PP's child was actually hit by a driver in a crosswalk.

I don't - you either coddle them or teach them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course I would. The parents that won't let grown kids out of their sight for a minute because of "what ifs" are mentally unstable. It is their issue, not their kids. I feel sorry for them.

I also live in Bethesda and would not. Its not about my child, its about the lack of infrastructure development in this area. Twenty years ago, the roads/crosswalks/lights were the same as they are now and I would have let my child walk to and from school. Now, no, the roads/crosswalks/lights are the same but the amount of traffic and pedestrians in the area is not. It is dangerous and, the rise of pedestrian fatalities proves this. My child was struck in a crosswalk, crossing legally because a driver was more interested in turning right on red without stopping, fyi.

So when they are a teenager you won't let them walk or drive? Too dangerous, correct? If you teach a child to drive, they could still get hit and killed. Every minute of every day. Do you not let them get their driver's license? So if you teach a child to navigate the streets and walk correctly, there is always that chance but they need to learn. You can not bubble wrap your kid every second of every day. School busses get into accidents, school shootings, etc... Do you not let your child go to school?

I think that there is a meaningful difference between "I will not let my specific child, aged [specific age], walk in this specific place" and "I will not ever let my child do anything anywhere ever". Especially when PP's child was actually hit by a driver in a crosswalk.

I think every parent chooses a way to instill independence that works for them and their child, and it is wrong to bully or ridicule others for their decisions -- God knows there is enough of that in the parenting community already, on subjects ranging from breastfeeding to college admissions. The problem is that individual parents's decisions add up to a societal shift, were the current generation of kids is somehow seen as more vulnerable and less capable than the previous one. It's easy to say "parent your own kids and let me parent mine", but when my kid goes outside on his own and can't find anyone to play with, or keeps getting stopped by people who think he must be lost, or when police and CPS investigators show up at my door because another well-meaning person called them -- then your fears and risk-aversion become my problem too.