Would you let a just-turned-12-YO walk over a mile to a friend's house alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is sad this question even has to be asked. 12yr old is one year away from a teen. Crossing busy streets? If not now, when? 13, 14, 15??? They are going to be DRIVING at 16yrs old. At least let them start crossing a road and gaining some independence. Not sure why most parents aren't teaching their kids basic life skills. So many people worry about grades and athletics but kids as old as 8 can't tie shoes or kids that are 12 can't cross a street? I just find it really weird how people parent these days, especially in this area.

Look at the intersection of Franconia and Van Dorn in Alexandria, that the PP posted about. Look at the intersection of Old Georgetown Road and Rockville Pike in North Bethesda. Look at the intersection in the 5800 block of Riverdale Road in Riverdale. Now think about a 12-year-old crossing the street there.

So when would you allow someone to cross them? What is your age limit. My daughter just turned 13 a few weeks ago and is a freshman in high school. Should she still not cross a "busy" road? I have a 15yr old daughter too. Should she wait until we ship her off to college and have her professors teach her? And honestly, if you don't like an intersection or feel it is dangerous, you don't pick that intersection to cross. You go down to the next one. You teach and show that to your kids. No teenager is going to let you teach or show them anything. You have a small window between 8-12 to encourage, challenge, and motivate your kids to think and do on their own. Because once they turn into teenagers, they know everything and 90% of what they do/learn come from their friends and themselves.

Maybe you haven't walked in those areas? The next intersection is dangerous too. And the next, and the next, and the next. And the roads in these examples aren't "busy". They are actually busy. If a pedestrian gets hit by a car going 40 mph, there is an 85% chance that the pedestrian will die.

I am not saying that nobody should walk anywhere, or that nobody under 18 should walk anywhere. I am saying that those intersections are really dangerous for pedestrians, and that depending on the specific 12-year-old, it might be too dangerous for a 12-year-old to cross on foot by himself. I am also saying that we need to stop accepting these dangerous intersections as a fact of life. 12-year-olds should be able to walk places safely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 12 year-old should be able to cross the street, even a major intersection.

I'm shocked as well.

Yes, a 12-year-old should be able to. But is this specific 12-year-old actually able to? That is the question.

I agree. I think in general it's fine for a 12 year, but there can always be particular circumstances that might not make it a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Overall, I think it's fine. Have him do a trial run with you first. Then let him on his own. He should always have a phone on him and call you when he gets there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In an ideal scenario, this should be ok, if your kids are aware, confident, sensible and cautious AND your neighborhood is secure AAANNNDDD you are pretty chilled out parents.

In our case, we would be nervous wrecks, because we are the most anxious parents. But that is just us! You should do what u think is right.

No offense but your kids will NEVER be confident, aware, cautious, sensible unless you LET THEM!! If you are anxious, expect the worst, hold on too tight, you are doing them more harm than good.

You are entitled to your opinion just like we are to ours. As I said above - you should do what u think is right. There are many other things that my kids do to become confident, aware, cautious, sensible etc - that we encourage them to do. We feel 12 is too young for walking over a mile to a friend's house alone, because the world is filled with sick people.

It is true that millions of people allow their kids to do just that and their kids are not harmed. However, we do not want to take even one in a million chance in this particular case. Maybe, statistically, even driving in a car is more dangerous - but not willing to take a chance of my kid being kidnapped, raped and killed.

[Anonymous]

My 11-year old, yes. And most of his friends walk a route like that every day to/from school, and have been doing so alone since 4th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In an ideal scenario, this should be ok, if your kids are aware, confident, sensible and cautious AND your neighborhood is secure AAANNNDDD you are pretty chilled out parents.

In our case, we would be nervous wrecks, because we are the most anxious parents. But that is just us! You should do what u think is right.

No offense but your kids will NEVER be confident, aware, cautious, sensible unless you LET THEM!! If you are anxious, expect the worst, hold on too tight, you are doing them more harm than good.

You are entitled to your opinion just like we are to ours. As I said above - you should do what u think is right. There are many other things that my kids do to become confident, aware, cautious, sensible etc - that we encourage them to do. We feel 12 is too young for walking over a mile to a friend's house alone, because the world is filled with sick people.

It is true that millions of people allow their kids to do just that and their kids are not harmed. However, we do not want to take even one in a million chance in this particular case. Maybe, statistically, even driving in a car is more dangerous - but not willing to take a chance of my kid being kidnapped, raped and killed.

This is the worst reason not to do it. Its one thing if they have to cross Rockville Pike, but you cannot lock them up forever because bad people live in the world. Driving a car is WAY WAY WAY more dangerous. You are being over protective and you could really stunt your children/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In an ideal scenario, this should be ok, if your kids are aware, confident, sensible and cautious AND your neighborhood is secure AAANNNDDD you are pretty chilled out parents.

In our case, we would be nervous wrecks, because we are the most anxious parents. But that is just us! You should do what u think is right.

No offense but your kids will NEVER be confident, aware, cautious, sensible unless you LET THEM!! If you are anxious, expect the worst, hold on too tight, you are doing them more harm than good.

You are entitled to your opinion just like we are to ours. As I said above - you should do what u think is right. There are many other things that my kids do to become confident, aware, cautious, sensible etc - that we encourage them to do. We feel 12 is too young for walking over a mile to a friend's house alone, because the world is filled with sick people.

It is true that millions of people allow their kids to do just that and their kids are not harmed. However, we do not want to take even one in a million chance in this particular case. Maybe, statistically, even driving in a car is more dangerous - but not willing to take a chance of my kid being kidnapped, raped and killed.

Wow - if you choose not to do things because of a 1 in a million chance, you are not truly living. Or in this case, letting your kids live. Things can happen to people at any age. The more sheltered your kids are, the less likely they will be aware of their surroundings when you no longer have the choice to shelter them. I still stand by what I previously said. You are doing them more harm than good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In an ideal scenario, this should be ok, if your kids are aware, confident, sensible and cautious AND your neighborhood is secure AAANNNDDD you are pretty chilled out parents.

In our case, we would be nervous wrecks, because we are the most anxious parents. But that is just us! You should do what u think is right.

No offense but your kids will NEVER be confident, aware, cautious, sensible unless you LET THEM!! If you are anxious, expect the worst, hold on too tight, you are doing them more harm than good.

You are entitled to your opinion just like we are to ours. As I said above - you should do what u think is right. There are many other things that my kids do to become confident, aware, cautious, sensible etc - that we encourage them to do. We feel 12 is too young for walking over a mile to a friend's house alone, because the world is filled with sick people.

It is true that millions of people allow their kids to do just that and their kids are not harmed. However, we do not want to take even one in a million chance in this particular case. Maybe, statistically, even driving in a car is more dangerous - but not willing to take a chance of my kid being kidnapped, raped and killed.

Wow - if you choose not to do things because of a 1 in a million chance, you are not truly living. Or in this case, letting your kids live. Things can happen to people at any age. The more sheltered your kids are, the less likely they will be aware of their surroundings when you no longer have the choice to shelter them. I still stand by what I previously said. You are doing them more harm than good.

I agree. Do you homeschool instead of sending your kid to school because of the 1 in a million chance of a school shooting? I mean, if it's one thing if you feel your kid is not careful or responsible enough to do it, but to say you wouldn't allow your 12 year old to do it for fear someone might harm your kid is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

I seriously can't imagine that this is even a question. Unless your child is very, very immature, I'm surprised he hasn't had this opportunity yet. It's just over a mile!

[Anonymous]

I was walking longer distances than that at that age. But it depends on your kid--is he responsible? Is he attentive to his surroundings? Does he take safety rules seriously?

[Anonymous]

Yes but I would follow them secretly

[Anonymous]

Absolutely no chance in hell.

[Anonymous]

I would, depending on the specific intersections. My 11 yr old walks or bikes 1.3 miles to and from school every day including one busy neighborhood intersection with a stoplight. We've talked a lot about the importance of not walking while looking at his phone. He's also walked less than a mile to a neighborhood library crossing a couple major intersections (busy 4-lane roads w/ stop lights) but those intersections are near a metro station and well-traveled by pedestrians. But there are certainly intersections I wouldn't let him cross -- and I wouldn't want to cross myself! I also insist that on our busy neighborhood road, he go down a couple blocks to cross at a stoplight rather than crossing at an intersection w/out a light.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is the worst reason not to do it. Its one thing if they have to cross Rockville Pike, but you cannot lock them up forever because bad people live in the world. Driving a car is WAY WAY WAY more dangerous. You are being over protective and you could really stunt your children/

I am merely responding to the OP's question about what I would allow my kids to do in one particular situation. What other do with their kids do not actually concern me much. Thankfully, people we do associate with who have children my kids are friends with have similar parenting philosophy so it works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
This is the worst reason not to do it. Its one thing if they have to cross Rockville Pike, but you cannot lock them up forever because bad people live in the world. Driving a car is WAY WAY WAY more dangerous. You are being over protective and you could really stunt your children/

I am merely responding to the OP's question about what I would allow my kids to do in one particular situation. What other do with their kids do not actually concern me much. Thankfully, people we do associate with who have children my kids are friends with have similar parenting philosophy so it works for us.

You mean helicopter moms