What's in a name....

[Anonymous]

No, I like my name and saw no reason to change it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll bet most of you who didn't take your husband's name still took an engagement ring. Overcoming sexist traditions can't be taken too far, you know.

Maybe, but I didn't.

[Anonymous]

I took DH's name. I'm a Christian, so when two people get married they become one, and that includes sharing a family name. It also means that I don't primarily identify with my family of origin, but with my new family (husband and kids).

[Anonymous]

I took my husband's name. I couldn't wait to get rid of my maiden name...constantly misspelled.

[Anonymous]

I took my husband's name. I'm proud to be his wife. We have a traditional marriage and a great sex life. With all of the infidelity, divorce, low libido issues brought up on this board, it solidifies my choice.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Like a pp, I figured it would be easier when we had kids to all have the same last name. I have two brothers, so there was no real pressure to "carry on the family name" or anything either. Also, I got married fairly young (just out of college) so I had not had any huge achievements (besides getting a BA) or a reputation/career in my maiden name. If I got married at an older age, and had established myself in a career where I was already known by a certain name, I might have felt differently about changing my name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I have my degrees and professional licenses in my name, and I didn't want the hassle of changing everything, but more importantly, my name is just....my name. I don't think of it as "my father's name" (my husband is a III, so he literally has his father's name), I think of it as my name. My husband said he always thought it was kind of weird that women changed their names at marriage. He has lots of friends from various countries (including the US) who didn't.

Our child has his last name (I chose the first and middle names, and the middle name is a family name on my mom's side). It has caused zero problems. We are just the Smith-Jones family.

But why should your child have his last name but not yours? This seems so sexist! I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate how women come up with all these reasons to justify keeping their own name, when there's really only one: self-respect.

Eh, you could same the same thing as your child's last name. If s/he has the last name of your husband do you not have self respect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saw no reason to change my name but would have changed it had my DH wanted to change his to a hyphenated/different name. Our kids have hyphenated names with mine coming first. We've been married 18 years and our oldest is 15. We've never had a problem with travel, hospitals (even overseas) or schools. In this day and age with so many blended families with differing names, I'm surprised anyone would use 'to avoid hassle' as a reason to change their names.

What if your daughter marries someone with a hyphenated name? Will she have four last names? Which one will she drop? The probelm is that eventually someone has to drop a name! Or everyone will eventually have 100 last names.

[Anonymous]

I didn't change my name. I thought about hyphenating briefly, but ultimately decided that I liked my name and had no reason to change it. No kids, but plan to hyphenate their names if they come along. And I hope to raise them to be smart adults who can confidently make their own decisions regarding their own last names if/when they get married.

[Anonymous]

MrUnreal wrote:My wife took my name and I am glad she did. I did not require it, my wife wanted to. She is a very strong independent woman and I don't think it really mattered to either of us. However, I will state that I am the only male left and if I did not continue my family name (German heritage) it would likely die with me and for that reason I am glad she decided to take my name. We never had a discussion or anything.

PP, maybe because it is important to one person or they don't mind either way.

Honestly, if sitting a day at the DMV is the biggest of your worries then who gives a care. It doesn't seem like all that much effort to me and I don't see why you would be so biased against taking your husband's last name. If tradition was that I take my wife's last name and I wasn't morally opposed to it for whatever reason, then I would've changed it. [/b]It sounds like a non-issue to me [/b] and not sure why there has to be a debate about it (other than the feminist belief in displacing any tradition seemingly in any male's favor).

It's a non-issue to you, Mr. Unreal, precisely because you're Mr. Unreal, not Mrs. Unreal or Ms. OwnIdentity. Society and family does not find your marital status in any way relevant to the title you are referred by, or the name you are called.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saw no reason to change my name but would have changed it had my DH wanted to change his to a hyphenated/different name. Our kids have hyphenated names with mine coming first. We've been married 18 years and our oldest is 15. We've never had a problem with travel, hospitals (even overseas) or schools. In this day and age with so many blended families with differing names, I'm surprised anyone would use 'to avoid hassle' as a reason to change their names.

What if your daughter marries someone with a hyphenated name? Will she have four last names? Which one will she drop? The probelm is that eventually someone has to drop a name! Or everyone will eventually have 100 last names.

Latin American/Spanish cultures seem to have no problem figuring this out.

[Anonymous]

A woman can call herself whatever she likes, but I would never agree to hyphenating my children's names. On both practical and aesthetic levels, it's obnoxious.

I'm sure no one says that to your face, but they are thinking it, trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A woman can call herself whatever she likes, but I would never agree to hyphenating my children's names. On both practical and aesthetic levels, it's obnoxious.

I'm sure no one says that to your face, but they are thinking it, trust me.

Why do you think we care? Are you one of those people who posts on name threads about how you judge people who name their kids a top 10 name?

[Anonymous]

No. My last name is what I take with me from my family and home in a different country. I gave up everything for my husband, but not this. However, we are still talking and trying to figure this out as we do both WANT to share a same name...so far we each just kept our last name.