Who in the school knows which students are on the free lunch program?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School counselor here. I don't always know, but appreciate being told, because I can then try to help families get items like free school pictures and free yearbooks and get free after school activities and field trips. I would never share that info with anyone other than the financial secretary who sends the invoices. In the course of getting to know my students, I often make educated guesses. It can be tricky to offer help unless you are sure it would be welcomed. The last thing I would want to do is embarrass a family. Please apply for the free and reduced meals and ease the burden on the family. Your child will benefit from the reduced stress at home as well as the food.

OP here.

Thank you. This was a hard decision for us (applying.) We have elementary aged children and middle school aged kids. The older ones are a bit embarrassed. The youngest elementary aged child happens to have a teacher who is a mom--and her children are in the same class as some of my older kids--which was part of my concern of "who knows which children are on free lunch."

Right now, in an effort to "make up" for accepting the free food, I am volunteering as much as possible. I always made an effort to volunteer before (I am a "room mom" for one of the classes) but I am trying to do even more now.

Have you thought about a job? I'm not being unkind here, but I will ask the obvious question. Volunteering is great for those who can afford it.

[Anonymous]

^ Agree. Why volunteer when you need the money that a job provides? Isn't this just common sense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my son's elementary school, everyone who is observant knows who receives free lunch or not. None of the non-free lunch kids eat school; they all bring lunch from home.

Same when my kids went to elementary school. The free lunch kids were also the ones who tended to want the breakfast that was offered (high FARMS school). No adult goes around and singles out the free lunch kids, but the older kids are bright enough to figure out who is who.

[Anonymous]

^ Agree. Why volunteer when you need the money that a job provides? Isn't this just common sense?

Not the OP, but I am in a similar situation, I can't make enough per hour to justify the expense of extra child care after school and during summers. I have not found a job that will allow me to work only while my children are in school, and most low paying jobs are not very understanding of 10 missed days for snow or kids being sick. My husband has a very demanding job, travels extensively so I have no help or backup, we do well financially so I am not complaining...

To the OP, I am on our PTA board, in our school, requests go through the principal for things like school supplies, yearbooks, tutoring, field trips, he approves all requests and tells us how many kids we need to pay for / sponsor. The PTA board has no idea who is receiving financial help. I don't know if admin, teachers and counselors have access to the info, but the feeling we get from the principal is that the recipient list is very guarded and private.

[Anonymous]

The Shadow knows.

[Anonymous]

I would like to apply for reduce lunch but I'm afraid my child will know and have the stigma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:School counselor here. I don't always know, but appreciate being told, because I can then try to help families get items like free school pictures and free yearbooks and get free after school activities and field trips. I would never share that info with anyone other than the financial secretary who sends the invoices. In the course of getting to know my students, I often make educated guesses. It can be tricky to offer help unless you are sure it would be welcomed. The last thing I would want to do is embarrass a family. Please apply for the free and reduced meals and ease the burden on the family. Your child will benefit from the reduced stress at home as well as the food.

OP here.

Thank you. This was a hard decision for us (applying.) We have elementary aged children and middle school aged kids. The older ones are a bit embarrassed. The youngest elementary aged child happens to have a teacher who is a mom--and her children are in the same class as some of my older kids--which was part of my concern of "who knows which children are on free lunch."

Right now, in an effort to "make up" for accepting the free food, I am volunteering as much as possible. I always made an effort to volunteer before (I am a "room mom" for one of the classes) but I am trying to do even more now.

Have you thought about a job? I'm not being unkind here, but I will ask the obvious question. Volunteering is great for those who can afford it.

I'm not the OP, but maybe they need the benefits because she lost her job? In which case, volunteering is not a bad way to stay productive during the job hunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like to apply for reduce lunch but I'm afraid my child will know and have the stigma.

I think since everything is tied to their number, i.e. the child is not carrying a card, like they used to do back when I went to school. I doubt the child would even know. I doubt the cafeteria lady even knows who is FARMS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would like to apply for reduce lunch but I'm afraid my child will know and have the stigma.

This is heartbreaking. Please, as one mother to another: apply for the reduced lunch. Accept the program that is available and know that the program is designed to be private. If some in the school admin are aware of the situation, please hold your head high, knowing that you are doing the right thing for your child. No decent mother, teacher or principal or administrator would put any sort of stigma on your child -- and as for the indecent ones out there, who-needs-em . Keep doing your best and know that there are a lot of us here rooting for you.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP-

I am a former school counselor and I would encourage you to speak with the counselor at your children's schools. When I was a counselor there were a great many free resources and opportunities that were presented to me for students at the school (both in and out of school) that came straight to my mailbox and not through the administrators. Please make an appointment to meet with her privately- door closed. Talk to her about your situation and be honest of your concern about possible repercussions for your children. I can only imagine the amount of stress you're experiencing and having an ally in the school can be helpful. It can also be done discreetly. In DD's ES many kids whose parents are very well off financially buy school lunch often or all the time. Students enter a pin that is randomly generated before the start of K and stays with them until they finish 5th grade (so a student's PIN wouldn't change if they started receiving free or reduced meals in the third grade).

What's your field? What kind of job are you looking for?

Hugs to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my son's elementary school, everyone who is observant knows who receives free lunch or not. None of the non-free lunch kids eat school; they all bring lunch from home.

Same when my kids went to elementary school. The free lunch kids were also the ones who tended to want the breakfast that was offered (high FARMS school). No adult goes around and singles out the free lunch kids, but the older kids are bright enough to figure out who is who.

Are you saying that only the free-lunch kids buy, and everybody else packs? That's not my experience, in a medium-FARMS school. There are plenty of kids who live in expensive houses who buy.

[Anonymous]

Are you saying that only the free-lunch kids buy, and everybody else packs? That's not my experience, in a medium-FARMS school. There are plenty of kids who live in expensive houses who buy.

Not mine either. We live in a low ESOL (15%), low FARMS (<10%) school area and at least half the kids buy lunch every day. Our current school does not offer breakfast, but we used to live in a FCPS ES district that was similar (~10% FARMS, ~10% ESOL) and they did offer breakfast. That school started at 9:15 and breakfast was VERY popular with SACC kids who may have been there since 7:15/7:30. It was also a very social meeting time before school for a lot of kids.

[Anonymous]

All kid lunches should be free. I would be willing to pay extra taxes to support 100% free lunches for grades k-12.

[Anonymous]

First, I teach in one of the more affluent schools....and there are plenty of children who buy lunch. Other students won't know who is receiving free/reduced lunch.

I agree with the previous poster about reaching out the guidance counselor. There are resources out there to help...especially with the summer coming. Elementary counselors may not be so easy to reach during the summers (don't have the number of summer days that middle/high has) so make the contact before the end of the school year.

Good luck to you! You are going through a tough time now. That is exactly what those supports are for. You are doing right by your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All kid lunches should be free. I would be willing to pay extra taxes to support 100% free lunches for grades k-12.

Nothing like raising an entitled generation.