Average age of parents

[Anonymous]

This is a difference I see having one in private and one in public. There are more 50th bday parties at the private, more early/mid 30s parents in public. Some crossover of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. As a younger mom, I am appalled how many of you are judging us. I was under the impression the older the wiser, no? Instead some of you sit here and try to decipher how people actually could do this? Unbelievable. I am sure other moms must talk about me then. Nice to know I am being judged on my age. I didnt want to be in my 60's when my kid graduates and goes to college. I wanted to have kids instead of racking up selfish debt in my 20's. I wanted to retire and not still have kids living at home or supporting in college. I want to have an empty nest and travel/live a new life with my husband before I need a cane. I wanted to be a fun healthy mom and a fun and healthy grand mom. So go ahead and judge me. I don't care. I settled down quick and didn't make a ton of stupid mistakes in my twenties. We started saving right after college and here we are.

+1

I had my first at 21 and finished college and graduate school while I had babies/ toddlers. Being a young parent is great. Both kids in independent schools in HS. Other parents are generationally like my parents. I understand the trend toward later marriage, but there are many benefits of being young parents. Pregnancies were easy. We have lots of energy and are less set in our ways. My DH and I are growing up together and hope
we get to be young grandparents. Those who insist young parents can't be successful or send their kids to top privates do live in a bubble.

People who had babies underfoot when they were 21 years old do not send their children to 'top privates" in DC. The setting for this forum (look up at the blue bar at the top of your screen). I feel confident that there are 26 year olds sending their 5 year olds to a "top private" in some other town, someplace. They are no 26 year old K moms at Beauvoir, Sidwell, GDS or Maret.

This is your prejudice. My DS is in HS at one of the schools you mention. was 23 when he was born. Granted he started there in middle school so you didn't see me in K. Why are you so certain of yourself. Isn't OK to be different? I relate well to the older moms and so does my mom who is 64 who attends lots of school functions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Half won't be alive to actually be grandparents.

That stings.

As an older Mom (45) this is something I think about a lot. I wish I had children younger but it just didn't work out that way. Of course if I did have them younger there was no way we could afford to send them to private, live where we do, stay-at-home like I do know, or take them on the trips that we do. I also probably wouldn't have the kids that I do so I know things worked out like they were supposed to, but I do worry about being "old". Not that it matters, but people usually think I am 10 years younger than I am and I still often get carded (which is beyond ridiculous because I don't look anything close to 21!). We are moving one of our children to a private school this year, so I think I will actually feel a little better knowing that in general parents are older because they aren't at the public schools.

No, actually, they don't. They're just being nice.

[Anonymous]

honestly, most of us on this forum would be horrified if our children talked to their peers the way we talk to each other. it is just plain mean. ironically, some of us were sold on our schools because of character education--and then we turn around and tell older parents that they won't live to see their grandchildren? stunning.

we all make different choices. we all have different challenges. some of us didn't have children until later because we didn't meet our partner until then, or we struggled for years with infertility. some of us who had kids younger were blessed to have met the "one" earlier, or maybe we actually made the wrong decision, and will go on to have an amazing second marriage in our 40s. seriously, who cares?

some of us who had kids late will still get to see our grandchildren, while others of us who had children early might tragically go much too young. we can't control any of that--we can only live the life we want to live, treat others with kindness, and teach our kids to do the same.

there is probably a 20 year age span of parents at my school--and it doesn't make a bit of difference. if you have trouble making friends with people outside your age range, that won't change for you when your child goes to school. if you like making friends of all ages, that won't change for you when you kid goes to school. it is no different from the workplace. it is not different from any other area of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:honestly, most of us on this forum would be horrified if our children talked to their peers the way we talk to each other. it is just plain mean. ironically, some of us were sold on our schools because of character education--and then we turn around and tell older parents that they won't live to see their grandchildren? stunning.

we all make different choices. we all have different challenges. some of us didn't have children until later because we didn't meet our partner until then, or we struggled for years with infertility. some of us who had kids younger were blessed to have met the "one" earlier, or maybe we actually made the wrong decision, and will go on to have an amazing second marriage in our 40s. seriously, who cares?

some of us who had kids late will still get to see our grandchildren, while others of us who had children early might tragically go much too young. we can't control any of that--we can only live the life we want to live, treat others with kindness, and teach our kids to do the same.

there is probably a 20 year age span of parents at my school--and it doesn't make a bit of difference. if you have trouble making friends with people outside your age range, that won't change for you when your child goes to school. if you like making friends of all ages, that won't change for you when you kid goes to school. it is no different from the workplace. it is not different from any other area of life.

Well said!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 39 with my daughter in 7th grade. We have paid tuition since 3rd. I love being a young mom. Never wanted to wait to have kids. I am not intimidated by the oldies in her class. Some look like grandparents. Half won't be alive to actually be grandparents.

And?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

I agree with PP. I never see Moms this young in my NW neighborhood or at 2 of the "Big 3" schools my DCs attend. So for the 25 y/o pharmacist mom - you and your friends are clearly the exception, and as you mentioned, you don't live in the NW neighborhoods where most with $$ and private school kids live. No judgment attached, just the reality as far as I can tell.

I understand that, but my point is upper NW is not the goal for many of us. It lacks the soul and flavor that some of us are looking for in an urban city (ethnic restaurants, racial and economic diversity). I love that one of DC's friends (neighbor) wasn't speaking English when our families first met yet they were and still are close friends. In 15-20 years, young professionals and families will probably consider the Anacostia area the place to be.

Okay, PP, first DC is not a city, it is a town. Second, strongly suggest you not festishize your neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. As a younger mom, I am appalled how many of you are judging us. I was under the impression the older the wiser, no? Instead some of you sit here and try to decipher how people actually could do this? Unbelievable. I am sure other moms must talk about me then. Nice to know I am being judged on my age. I didnt want to be in my 60's when my kid graduates and goes to college. I wanted to have kids instead of racking up selfish debt in my 20's. I wanted to retire and not still have kids living at home or supporting in college. I want to have an empty nest and travel/live a new life with my husband before I need a cane. I wanted to be a fun healthy mom and a fun and healthy grand mom. So go ahead and judge me. I don't care. I settled down quick and didn't make a ton of stupid mistakes in my twenties. We started saving right after college and here we are.

The only judging I see here is you and the PP who felt it necessary to point out that some older parents may not live to be grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. As a younger mom, I am appalled how many of you are judging us. I was under the impression the older the wiser, no? Instead some of you sit here and try to decipher how people actually could do this? Unbelievable. I am sure other moms must talk about me then. Nice to know I am being judged on my age. I didnt want to be in my 60's when my kid graduates and goes to college. I wanted to have kids instead of racking up selfish debt in my 20's. I wanted to retire and not still have kids living at home or supporting in college. I want to have an empty nest and travel/live a new life with my husband before I need a cane. I wanted to be a fun healthy mom and a fun and healthy grand mom. So go ahead and judge me. I don't care. I settled down quick and didn't make a ton of stupid mistakes in my twenties. We started saving right after college and here we are.

The only judging I see here is you and the PP who felt it necessary to point out that some older parents may not live to be grandparents.

That was not mentioned at all in the previous post. Must have hit a funny bone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

I agree with PP. I never see Moms this young in my NW neighborhood or at 2 of the "Big 3" schools my DCs attend. So for the 25 y/o pharmacist mom - you and your friends are clearly the exception, and as you mentioned, you don't live in the NW neighborhoods where most with $$ and private school kids live. No judgment attached, just the reality as far as I can tell.

I understand that, but my point is upper NW is not the goal for many of us. It lacks the soul and flavor that some of us are looking for in an urban city (ethnic restaurants, racial and economic diversity). I love that one of DC's friends (neighbor) wasn't speaking English when our families first met yet they were and still are close friends. In 15-20 years, young professionals and families will probably consider the Anacostia area the place to be.

That's fine, but can you share with the class any or all of the independent schools that you can think of that are NOT in upper NW but instead are in your hipster enclaves of DC? No. Because there aren't any, save for some struggling parish parochial schools and random AME God of Light types of religious schools, and Gonazga.

So this raises the question of why, since you have no goal of attending these schools in upper NW, you are lecturing people on a thread concerning schools in upper NW?

I also applied for charter schools in Brookland and Center City area, 3 years in a row, and we didn't get in. If we'd gotten into one of them, independent schools wouldn't be on our radar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

I agree with PP. I never see Moms this young in my NW neighborhood or at 2 of the "Big 3" schools my DCs attend. So for the 25 y/o pharmacist mom - you and your friends are clearly the exception, and as you mentioned, you don't live in the NW neighborhoods where most with $$ and private school kids live. No judgment attached, just the reality as far as I can tell.

I understand that, but my point is upper NW is not the goal for many of us. It lacks the soul and flavor that some of us are looking for in an urban city (ethnic restaurants, racial and economic diversity). I love that one of DC's friends (neighbor) wasn't speaking English when our families first met yet they were and still are close friends. In 15-20 years, young professionals and families will probably consider the Anacostia area the place to be.

Okay, PP, first DC is not a city, it is a town. Second, strongly suggest you not festishize your neighbors.

PP, we've been that same family as expats in another country and had to pick up the language to adapt and make friends. First 3-6 months were socially brutal and I started to regret not going with the American school. I'm proud that my DC was quick to befriend another kid who spoke an uncommon language (think Dari) and include him in everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At the welcoming reception for K, I noticed that most parents look like they're in their 40s and maybe even 50s. In another thread a poster mentioned that s/he will be in their 40s when the kids graduate from high school. I will also be in my early 40s when my kid graduates from high school. What do you think is the average age of the parents at your kid's private?

So you had this kid when you were 25 years old? You live .... not in DC. Right? Atlanta maybe? South Carolina?

I cannot think of of one. single solitary woman I have ever met or known who had a child at 25 and could afford $35,000 a year tuition for that kid 5 years later. Even the trophy wives and trustafarians -- the not heavy hitters in their cAreers -- don't make the babies at 25 in the DC and close-in privates.

You don't think two pharmacists could afford one in private here, for example? My friends and I with kids in private schools all started families in our 20s. We don't live in upper NW but closer to other young professionals and young families like ourselves. Our mortgages are probably more modest. I'm honestly amazed that this you live in such a bubble.

I agree with PP. I never see Moms this young in my NW neighborhood or at 2 of the "Big 3" schools my DCs attend. So for the 25 y/o pharmacist mom - you and your friends are clearly the exception, and as you mentioned, you don't live in the NW neighborhoods where most with $$ and private school kids live. No judgment attached, just the reality as far as I can tell.

I understand that, but my point is upper NW is not the goal for many of us. It lacks the soul and flavor that some of us are looking for in an urban city (ethnic restaurants, racial and economic diversity). I love that one of DC's friends (neighbor) wasn't speaking English when our families first met yet they were and still are close friends. In 15-20 years, young professionals and families will probably consider the Anacostia area the place to be.

That's fine, but can you share with the class any or all of the independent schools that you can think of that are NOT in upper NW but instead are in your hipster enclaves of DC? No. Because there aren't any, save for some struggling parish parochial schools and random AME God of Light types of religious schools, and Gonazga.

So this raises the question of why, since you have no goal of attending these schools in upper NW, you are lecturing people on a thread concerning schools in upper NW?

I also applied for charter schools in Brookland and Center City area, 3 years in a row, and we didn't get in. If we'd gotten into one of them, independent schools wouldn't be on our radar.

OP- let's clarify. You start a thread specific to NW DC Independent schools. Your premise that these schools and surrounding areas must have average 25 y/old moms was completely disproven. I pointed out to you with no judgment that I live in NW DC and have kids in two separate independent NWDC independent schools and I have never seen a 25 y/old Mom in my neighborhood or either of the two NW DC independent schools I have familiarity with. So now you want to change the subject to average age of moms in charter schools in Brookland and Center City? Say what? You just made your point OP. Yes, it is very likely that the moms in those schools are younger, for various reasons, but mainly because most 25 year olds can't afford the 30K plus tuition of most NW top independent schools. By way of example, when I was 25 I was still in law school, being a Mom was not on my mind, and I certainly wasn't thinking about the 70K plus tuition that I now spend for my children's education.

[Anonymous]

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 39 with my daughter in 7th grade. We have paid tuition since 3rd. I love being a young mom. Never wanted to wait to have kids. I am not intimidated by the oldies in her class. Some look like grandparents. Half won't be alive to actually be grandparents.

Don't worry, you might not actually live to be a grandparent either. You may get hit by a car, die of cancer, tragedy may strike or you or your children, or you may just die younger than a lot of the "oldies" you see around. I had my first child when I was "older" and wouldn't change a thing. I had a career and life before my kids, I got to spend 10 years with DH and enjoy life before the responsibility of children, and now we can comfortably enjoy our life and have plenty of money for our kids. It also seems that you can afford afford tuition for a single child. BFD. Maybe with age and experience comes the fact that I wouldn't feel the need to be such an ahole on an anonymous board. Oh, and if you saw me, you'd likely guess that I'm 33 not 40 something and my guess is that I'm hotter than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:honestly, most of us on this forum would be horrified if our children talked to their peers the way we talk to each other. it is just plain mean. ironically, some of us were sold on our schools because of character education--and then we turn around and tell older parents that they won't live to see their grandchildren? stunning.

we all make different choices. we all have different challenges. some of us didn't have children until later because we didn't meet our partner until then, or we struggled for years with infertility. some of us who had kids younger were blessed to have met the "one" earlier, or maybe we actually made the wrong decision, and will go on to have an amazing second marriage in our 40s. seriously, who cares?

some of us who had kids late will still get to see our grandchildren, while others of us who had children early might tragically go much too young. we can't control any of that--we can only live the life we want to live, treat others with kindness, and teach our kids to do the same.

there is probably a 20 year age span of parents at my school--and it doesn't make a bit of difference. if you have trouble making friends with people outside your age range, that won't change for you when your child goes to school. if you like making friends of all ages, that won't change for you when you kid goes to school. it is no different from the workplace. it is not different from any other area of life.

Well said!

+1 -- Because of the age range among my kids, I've been one of the younger moms in one parent cohort and one of the older moms in another. I'm fortunate to have found friends of different ages who don't judge one another because of when in life they happen to have become parents. Rather, we embrace one another for our different experiences and perspectives.