I am drowning.

[Anonymous]

OP here --

The debt we has amassed is a combination of IRS, student loans, and credit cards all of which are on payment plans.

We received nearly 55% tuition assistance through subsidized financial aid and grants I applied for.

Our credit is ruined anyway from a time our son became very ill and we went through around $23,000 (nearly our entire savings which was supposed to go to a house) getting him well.

Our daughter has been through a lot and the school we found out we were zoned for (after the person I spoke with at Montgomery County Schools before we signed a lease told me the wrong school) after we signed a lease (thinking we were zoned for a different school that we actually liked) feels like a jungle and we just want her to have some peace.

[Anonymous]

OP - get off DCUM and you will feel less poor and less like your local schools are terrible choices. I grew up in the Midwest and people in the DMV seem blind to the fact that the schools they think are mediocre are schools most of the country that is not on the Eastern seaboard would be jealous of.

[Anonymous]

Try a COSA, OP.

[Anonymous]

If you're Catholic, go Parochial.

[Anonymous]

Everyone else has already told you this, but your concerns about the school sound like they are based on a knee jerk reaction and simply can't justify the cost of private school tuition in your financial situation.

Since you're determined not to accept that near universal view, just break your lease. The penalty has to be less than two years of private school tuition.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't break the lease. If your credit is ruined, then you might have trouble renting in a better area. I'm sorry you are in this hole, but the only way out is to decrease your expenses and increase your income. Cutting tuition is the first of many steps. Plus: don't eat out, cut back on cable and cell phones, watch your utility bills, don't buy anything unless you truly can't live without it, no vacations, bare minimum groceries, etc. You have a serious problem, and you need to live a bare bones existence for a year (probably more) to begin digging yourself out. And this should be a lesson to all: avoid student loans (work while going to school; stay in-state), and thoroughly research schools before renting/buying.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't OP be out the whole years' tuition if her daughter leaves now?

[Anonymous]

Depends on how tuition is paid. If I were in her shoes, I would cut all expenses down to a painful bare minimum. Live like the Amish. No joke. Being in such debt would terrify me. I'd do whatever it takes.

And perhaps more importantly, I'd come to terms with the fact that I am not wealthy enough to have a sense of self-entitlement about anything.

[Anonymous]

OP, what do you mean your daughter has "been through a lot". Sounds like your throwing that line out there having been proven wrong by every participant here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved to Montgomery County because we heard the schools were fantastic. We were crushingly disappointed in my son's elementary school. His teacher was an beyond horrible. She appeared functionally illiterate for lack of a better term. I have no idea how she managed to obtain her teaching certificate. I volunteered in the classroom and was appalled by the way she talked to the students. I went to the principal and he was sympathetic but implied that she had been in the school for twenty years and that there was nothing he could do about it.

There is no way we could have afforded private schools at that point and we were locked into a year lease. I pulled my son out and homeschooled him the remainder of the year. I am a former teacher, but am definitely NOT the homeschool type.

We moved to Fairfax County the day our lease was up and enrolled him in what turned out to be a fantastic school.

There are alternatives to expensive private schools.

Good on you! Great solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're Catholic, go Parochial.

Or join a catholic church for a couple of years. It's not like it's a lifetime commitment..

[Anonymous]

You also need a financial planner to help you make good decisions and make a long-term plan to get you out of debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're Catholic, go Parochial.

Or join a catholic church for a couple of years. It's not like it's a lifetime commitment..

You don't even have to join the Catholic Church. For many, they just have reduced rates for Catholics. And often even with the additional fee for not being Catholic is still significantly lower than private schools.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,

We lived in a tiny one-bedroom with our 2 young kids while we saved and looked for a house in a good school district. DH would only buy food on sale. All our money went to a crappy daycare, and then to a good preschool.

The point is you have to make a sacrifice somewhere.

We are telling you that you can:

1. Break your lease. Try to get out of paying the fine by finding a new renter yourself and negotiating with the leasing office in person.

2. Rent smaller/cheaper in a neighborhood where you feel good about the school. FYI, public school teachers will always be over-extended because the DC area is exploding demographically.

3. Send your child to that public school paid for with your tax dollars. Enrich at home, especially written expression, which is overlooked in the classroom. Bide your time and if your child makes the cut she can get into a Highly Gifted Center in 4th and 5th grade, and a Magnet for Middle School. Learn to work the system.

[Anonymous]

PP again -did not read your latest post, OP.

You sound a little melodramatic, which is not good for your children. Try to stay calm and assess your options.
MCPS has a website where you can plug in your street and obtain your school district. Stay on top of boundary changes.

I'm very sorry to hear about your son's illness. I hope it was a one-time thing.

However, if you cannot move, you have no choice but to use that public school while you get out of debt.
Your 1st grader is verbal, is she not? With the right (positive, can do) attitude from her parents, she will navigate the "jungle" and be able to tell you if anything untoward happens.
I am prepared to bet that the obnoxious principal (which school doesn't have an obnoxious principal on some level? They have to be, to survive the insane parents in this area ) has learned his lesson and is more vigilant. Actually you should ask him what new policies he has put in place. Don't be afraid to be "that" parent.
If you feel your child has a learning, emotional, or other kind of disability and that is why you are afraid of letting her loose in a public school, then request a meeting with the school. They can evaluate her and offer her appropriate accommodations. MCPS has a ton of special services they offer to students with disabilities - I know, because my son uses them.