Mensa

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the additional responses.

To the pp who feels she was similar to my DD as a kid I reallay appreicate the support. It's hard to explain her to people if they don't know her. She's not a complete social outcast as she is really outgoing and has friends, but there is just something different and a void it seems she has. She'll state that she knows she's different but doesn't know why. We don't tell her she's smart or show her the test scores, but she just knows she's different and it breaks my heart a little to see her struggling to understand why. While homeschooling is not an option for us I can see how it could be a great option for her. That's why I'm trying to at least find activities outside of school. She uses Khan Academy on her own (I monitor progress) but I was hoping Mensa would be a more interactive activity.

Thanks for the recommednation on the foreign language. Someone told me that Duolingo is a free language learning site but I haven't checked it out yet.

Her NNAT score was 149. We didn't prep her or even tell her about the test.

To pp who stated that there are many gifted kids that are socially skilled, I agree. DD isn't a complete outcast but I know she needs to work on these skills. However, it's hard to watch a teacher be understanding that Johnny still isn't reading well in 2nd grade and provide extra support for him while they just tell me they are frustrated by my DD because she has a messy desk and doesn't want to transition to the next assignment because she wants to keep exploring the previous one. The current teacher states she understands that DD excels intellectually but they can't move her any farther ahead or provide her with any additional resources in 2nd grade, but she can just be frustrating in the classroom. It's not Johnny's fault he can't read well and I don't think it's my DD's fault for absorbing information quickly and wanting to move forward faster and deeper into subjects.

I'm not sure what the answer is but I can't just beat into her that she has to stop talking when the lesson is over and must keep her desk organized when I'm not there. If you think the answer is punishment for these issues in a child like her I can tell you that it doesn't work. She's generally a very rule abiding kid (particularly with safety), but she has a severe stubborn streak in her when it comes to learning/facts/concepts. I don't want to crush her spirit and desire for learning simply because the school can't provide for her academic needs at this time.

I was hoping that finding another outlet for her would help her stop being so "frustrating" to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Here's another thought about the situation of the wanting to spend more time discussing and conversing with the teacher. Since your daughter likes math, it might make sense to help her figure out the number of minutes spent in the classroom with the teacher each day divided by the number of students in the class. Depending on your specifics, it will come out to about 10 minutes per student. Let's assume that about half of that time is spent in addressing the entire class, so that means that any single child has the potential for about five minutes of individualized attention from the teacher each day. You could help your child to understand the demands on her teacher's time and that if she is spending more than five or so minutes a day with her teacher focusing only on her, she is keeping the teacher from helping other kids who have just as much right to her teacher's time as she does. Some kids respond really well to the idea of fairness, and this might help her to learn about taking turns and being respectful of others.

I agree with the poster above who noted that our job is to guide our children to being good people in adulthood. No one will care how smart our kids are if we haven't helped them to develop good manners and the ability to respect the rights of others.

I don't know if you saw this post (and if so, I apologize for the re-post), but this might be a good way to help your daughter understand classroom dynamics and how they are different from when she is at home with her parents. Being one of many in a group who all need attention is simply different than being one-on-one with a parent or other adult.
I agree with the posters who note that this might be a situation of helping your daughter to learn good social skills which will help throughout her life. She sounds as though she has a strong interest in learning and I get that you don't want her spirit crushed, but I do think that appropriate social skills will only enhance her life in the long run without affecting her love of learning. You don't in any way have to beat into her that she needs to stop talking. The suggestion to role play appropriate behaviors is a good one and appeals to a child's sense of fun.
Reading books when the teacher is busy with classmates is a good way for her to "absorb... information quickly and ... move forward faster and deeper into subjects." You can help her make sure she always has some good and challenging reading material with her.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you thought about asking the teacher if she would meet with you and the school counselor? Sometimes "quirky" students need social skills help and the school counselor can be a good resource.

[Anonymous]

Almost every kid in AAP qualifies for Mensa. It only requires a 132 or higher on cogat or NNAT, or a 130 or higher on the WISC. Those criteria often aren't even enough to get a child found eligible and AAP kids aren't necessarily gifted.

If your child is that far ahead and really needs support and advocacy, try for Davidson Young Scholars. They have been a wonderful support for my ds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the additional responses.

To the pp who feels she was similar to my DD as a kid I reallay appreicate the support. It's hard to explain her to people if they don't know her. She's not a complete social outcast as she is really outgoing and has friends, but there is just something different and a void it seems she has. She'll state that she knows she's different but doesn't know why. We don't tell her she's smart or show her the test scores, but she just knows she's different and it breaks my heart a little to see her struggling to understand why. While homeschooling is not an option for us I can see how it could be a great option for her. That's why I'm trying to at least find activities outside of school. She uses Khan Academy on her own (I monitor progress) but I was hoping Mensa would be a more interactive activity.

Thanks for the recommednation on the foreign language. Someone told me that Duolingo is a free language learning site but I haven't checked it out yet.

Her NNAT score was 149. We didn't prep her or even tell her about the test.

To pp who stated that there are many gifted kids that are socially skilled, I agree. DD isn't a complete outcast but I know she needs to work on these skills. However, it's hard to watch a teacher be understanding that Johnny still isn't reading well in 2nd grade and provide extra support for him while they just tell me they are frustrated by my DD because she has a messy desk and doesn't want to transition to the next assignment because she wants to keep exploring the previous one. The current teacher states she understands that DD excels intellectually but they can't move her any farther ahead or provide her with any additional resources in 2nd grade, but she can just be frustrating in the classroom. It's not Johnny's fault he can't read well and I don't think it's my DD's fault for absorbing information quickly and wanting to move forward faster and deeper into subjects.

I'm not sure what the answer is but I can't just beat into her that she has to stop talking when the lesson is over and must keep her desk organized when I'm not there. If you think the answer is punishment for these issues in a child like her I can tell you that it doesn't work. She's generally a very rule abiding kid (particularly with safety), but she has a severe stubborn streak in her when it comes to learning/facts/concepts. I don't want to crush her spirit and desire for learning simply because the school can't provide for her academic needs at this time.

I was hoping that finding another outlet for her would help her stop being so "frustrating" to the teacher.

Wh did you say she was barely passing?

[Anonymous]

Can you afford a Montessori primary program? Is there one near you?

It might work really well for her.

[Anonymous]

Have you checked out what is available to her through the John Hopkins Talent Search? There might be something there that she could do.

http://cty.jhu.edu/

Hoagies might also have resources for your daughter.

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

[Anonymous]

140 something on NNAT is great of course, my DC got 160 but I'm not thinking DC should be treated differently for being who DC is- etc.- you can make your child's social interactions worse sometimes if you label your own kid (and try to manage it somehow). The post about your child failing 2nd grade and not listening- that would concern me more. We have so many resources available now that could help us as parents understand - I'd use that if I got mixed messages (which we did get for a while- not that we'd run for WISC testing but it was I guess an option).

[Anonymous]

I second the suggestion of talking to the teacher and school counselor. Many of the school counselors run something called "lunch bunch" where they take a group of students into their office during lunch and just work on social/conversational skills. Also - is she messy and/or disorganized at home. Maybe making a simple check sheet for her to keep on or in her desk with daily tasks that she needs to do to keep the desk organized. For super smart kids, simple organization doesn't always come easy but these same kids are great at following check sheets and rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I second the suggestion of talking to the teacher and school counselor. Many of the school counselors run something called "lunch bunch" where they take a group of students into their office during lunch and just work on social/conversational skills. Also - is she messy and/or disorganized at home. Maybe making a simple check sheet for her to keep on or in her desk with daily tasks that she needs to do to keep the desk organized. For super smart kids, simple organization doesn't always come easy but these same kids are great at following check sheets and rules.

Hi- I just posted about my DC (160 score)- DC is not organized- drives me crazy- DC will got from an extreme book or design and then leave everything a mess- always creating (DH wants to patent one of DCs ideas). I have to remind DC daily on kinda simple stuff (though they can recite it) - DC is really focused on many things a lot and keeps inventing ways or processes (most are not new but others are DCs version). Can you please elaborate on this? DCs teacher also brought this up- saying DC was in their own world- but then said it was who DC was- like accepting DC for this "negative" but also appreciating the + (teacher -like us- loves DC and in particular DC's creativity/complex thinking). I am really truly asking- not trying to brag as I have read in PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never met a Mensa person that wasn't weird. In the very weird sense.

...and who doesn't immediately mention that he/she is a Mensa member.

[Anonymous]

As someone that was surrounded by both normal & gifted students before attending a "nerdy" Tech school, these are my thoughts:

1) You focus heavily on your daughters academic gifts
2) Your daughter has significant social issues with peers and superiors that you don't have a good grasp on.

I had many friends coined gifted in Elementary school that went on to do mediocre in High school and college. Mainly they lacked the drive, organization, etc to continue to excel. When you tell or label a child as smart they don't work as hard as children labeled as hardworking. My advice to you is to get outside advice regarding your daughters behavior and how she can improve socially. Otherwise, she will continue to become frustrated academically for all the wrong reasons. In your case, mainstreaming for a while could actually be very beneficial. She can still be herself, but in a way that she learns to get along with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I probably should have clarified her age. She's 7, almost 8. She qualifies based on her NNAT score.

I'm really looking for additional resources and maybe some other kids her age that are "weird" like her. While she has friends at school, she realizes that she's different and being called weird by the other kids is really starting to get to her. I'd like her to know there are other kids out there like her and I thought this might be a place to start. I'm not looking at it as a badge of honor or anything that I would even tell our friends about but just as a place to find some other kids her age that she can fit in with better academically.

Based on what is said on this board I'm not holding out any hope that APP, should she be accepted, will provide what she seems to need in a classroom setting. Again, thinking this could be a place where she can identify with other kids like her.

MY DS was reading at 3 also. Went through the AAP/GT program and now a junior at TJ. AAP was a big help, and not very hard for him, but still it was a nice group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I probably should have clarified her age. She's 7, almost 8. She qualifies based on her NNAT score.

I'm really looking for additional resources and maybe some other kids her age that are "weird" like her. While she has friends at school, she realizes that she's different and being called weird by the other kids is really starting to get to her. I'd like her to know there are other kids out there like her and I thought this might be a place to start. I'm not looking at it as a badge of honor or anything that I would even tell our friends about but just as a place to find some other kids her age that she can fit in with better academically.

Based on what is said on this board I'm not holding out any hope that APP, should she be accepted, will provide what she seems to need in a classroom setting. Again, thinking this could be a place where she can identify with other kids like her.

MY DS was reading at 3 also. Went through the AAP/GT program and now a junior at TJ. AAP was a big help, and not very hard for him, but still it was a nice group.

Also in K pretended that he could not read so to sit next to the popular boy. Many confusing conversations with the K teacher! 1st and 2nd the teachers just gave him the 5th grade worksheet and that kept him quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I second the suggestion of talking to the teacher and school counselor. Many of the school counselors run something called "lunch bunch" where they take a group of students into their office during lunch and just work on social/conversational skills. Also - is she messy and/or disorganized at home. Maybe making a simple check sheet for her to keep on or in her desk with daily tasks that she needs to do to keep the desk organized. For super smart kids, simple organization doesn't always come easy but these same kids are great at following check sheets and rules.

Hi- I just posted about my DC (160 score)- DC is not organized- drives me crazy- DC will got from an extreme book or design and then leave everything a mess- always creating (DH wants to patent one of DCs ideas). I have to remind DC daily on kinda simple stuff (though they can recite it) - DC is really focused on many things a lot and keeps inventing ways or processes (most are not new but others are DCs version). Can you please elaborate on this? DCs teacher also brought this up- saying DC was in their own world- but then said it was who DC was- like accepting DC for this "negative" but also appreciating the + (teacher -like us- loves DC and in particular DC's creativity/complex thinking). I am really truly asking- not trying to brag as I have read in PP.

Many highly gifted people have a 'tunnel vision' perspective of life-they focus on the topics they find the most interesting and the rest are just pesky details un worthy of significant attention and time. I would talk to the teacher about having him/her build in 3-5 minutes at the end of the day for desk organization with the possibility of a chart/design of how the desk should look. I would imagine this could be of benefit to the whole class and is a simple modification that might help your DC make this into a habit. At home you could always set up a rewards chart or some sort of structured rules about cleaning up when done. Verbalizing is not enough, if you are serious about it you would have to first come up with the rules and then present them in a written format with obtainable goals and possible a weekly reward.