Does having kids really suck as bad as people say?

[Anonymous]

It is like the peace corps, the hardest job you will ever love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had a kid. She's 4 months old and the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. That said it suck. Sucks big time. Being pregnant is horrible. Labor is beyond the worst thing ever. Lack of sleep, no freedom, no time. Taking a shower is an achievement. Going to the bathroom is a luxury. I didn't originally want kids and I should have stuck with that. But that said its an amazing often wonderful experience.

I could have written this post, except that my DS is 6 months. He is amazing, and I love him- but I now know why I said I did not want kids. I can and will be an awesome mom for this little guy, but I can imagine my life without being a Mom. For me, it is not all encompassing.

Your kids are way too young for you to have any perspective on this question. When my son was this age, I was miserable. At some point, they become little people and that's when any real payoff starts. You also get a lot of freedom back.

Yikes, I can still have a perspective, just maybe not yours. And I am sure that my heart will grow with each stage, but the question was posed to parents, and even though my guy is little, I still get to answer. Also, I think its dangerous for parents to tell parents that 'it will get better', because maybe it won't. I love DS, I truly do. But I can already tell that I am different than a lot of Moms of little ones.

Of course you get to answer but what the PP was getting at was you haven't entered the "parenting" stage yet. You're in the "keeping them alive" stage which is totally different. It's physically hard but they have not yet begun to test boundaries, purposely push your buttons, defy your rules, etc. You haven't had to correct them for being mean, or have them say something that hurts you, or embarrass you because they act out when you KNOW THEY KNOW BETTER. It's not that your opinion is invalid, it's just you haven't gotten to te stage where the things that make parenting truly difficult are even happening yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the kid you get, and how many you have. We only had one. It definitely crimps our style. It's hard to be minimalist when you have a kid. We can't go out as much. I get judged a hell of a lot more. I became a parent and all of a sudden it's inappropriate of me to wear a bikini? We feel a lot worse leaving her home than we do leaving the dog home.

But, she is a lot of fun and I think having a kid has forced me to grow a lot as a parent and has made me into a more well-rounded person.

It also depends how you mold your kid. Its not, ' you get what you get'. Parents can make each year easier.

[Anonymous]

No! Early on, when children are infants, it's more triage parenting and that time can suck - but you still love your baby. I never think of my previous life, my life without my child.

[Anonymous]

I didn't want kids growing up, and never got to that baby craving phase. But when I pictured myself at 60 it was with grown children, so having kids was a given for me.

So we did and we got lucky - 2 great girls who get along incredibly well (they are 3 & 5 now). Parts are still hard and finding the right balance can be difficult, but we are just now really coming out of the physically demanding infant/toddler phase, and I foresee a couple glorious years of relatively smooth sailing before we enter the tween / teen drama.

For us the sucky parts (and they did happen and I'm sure there will be more) have definitely been worth it, even if in the sucky moments I wonder what the hell we've done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my child more than anything in the world a thousand times over. But I hate parenting and working and cleaning cooking etc. If I had $ to outsource some things, though, I'd be in heaven and would love parenting. I think my complaint is the impossibility of balancing things when you have kids. Money makes all the difference.

This.

[Anonymous]

Lots if complaints about pregnancy here and labor. Both also depend on each person. I really enjoyed my 1st pregnancy and although not as much the 2nd it was not "miserable" at all for me. Labor is no walk in the park for anyone but some have easier and shorter labors than others. For me the hardest part of that very first stage was getting the hang if nursing. In the end I enjoyed BF'ing both times but it took months each time before we were anywhere near "smooth". This is to say that people can tell you what was hard vs not too bad for THEM but it all totally varies by family. And if you asked this question of someone in Iowa with tons of family around , a low mortgage and possibly even a SAHP you may Get wildly different replies than from our metro area where those are less common.

[Anonymous]

^of

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I clicked on this thread, I was expecting to see post after post about how fabulous kids were and I was really surprised to see all of the people commenting how hard kids were and that it isn't worth it, etc. I am not suggesting that children are for everyone, and that everyone should have kids. But what I can tell you is that not only do I love but children, but I truly enjoy pretty much every moment I spend with them. My DH and I work full-time, so the logistics can be tough (and expensive), but there is no greater joy to me than seeing my kids at the end of the day. No matter how terrible my day at work might have been, and trust me, there have been many bad days, seeing my kids puts a smile on my face. I love watching them grow, I love their relationship with one another, and I love being a parent. I have never found parenting hard. Sure there are times when I'm really, truly tired, ok exhausted beyond belief, and days when I feel like my kids are sucking all our life savings (don't get me started on how much ballet costs), but I cannot imagine our lives without them. We still travel, we still go out to dinner, but just not as much. In fact, I want to be home on Friday nights with my kids and I don't miss going out that much. Yes, there are some trips that we haven't been able to take (yet), and I'd love to trade our SUV for a convertible, but I have never ever looked back. For me, being a parent is joyous, and it isn't that hard. So, no, having kids does not suck.

Look at the ages (for those who are posting them). Those who are saying how wonderful it is have older kids or at least one older kids. Those who are saying it sucks have a 6 month old and younger.

If you asked me when my child was 6 months old, I would have said it sucks and was terrible. Now that she's 3, I think it's totally amazing and even the sucky hard times are amazing. My kid is hysterical.

[Anonymous]

Wanted a large family. DH's selfishness and laziness means I stopped at one kid. Might have been different with a man who was a much better husband and father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I clicked on this thread, I was expecting to see post after post about how fabulous kids were and I was really surprised to see all of the people commenting how hard kids were and that it isn't worth it, etc. I am not suggesting that children are for everyone, and that everyone should have kids. But what I can tell you is that not only do I love but children, but I truly enjoy pretty much every moment I spend with them. My DH and I work full-time, so the logistics can be tough (and expensive), but there is no greater joy to me than seeing my kids at the end of the day. No matter how terrible my day at work might have been, and trust me, there have been many bad days, seeing my kids puts a smile on my face. I love watching them grow, I love their relationship with one another, and I love being a parent. I have never found parenting hard. Sure there are times when I'm really, truly tired, ok exhausted beyond belief, and days when I feel like my kids are sucking all our life savings (don't get me started on how much ballet costs), but I cannot imagine our lives without them. We still travel, we still go out to dinner, but just not as much. In fact, I want to be home on Friday nights with my kids and I don't miss going out that much. Yes, there are some trips that we haven't been able to take (yet), and I'd love to trade our SUV for a convertible, but I have never ever looked back. For me, being a parent is joyous, and it isn't that hard. So, no, having kids does not suck.

Look at the ages (for those who are posting them). Those who are saying how wonderful it is have older kids or at least one older kids. Those who are saying it sucks have a 6 month old and younger.

If you asked me when my child was 6 months old, I would have said it sucks and was terrible. Now that she's 3, I think it's totally amazing and even the sucky hard times are amazing. My kid is hysterical.

I have an infant, and would describe parenthood as wonderful. Your opinions regarding the experiences of parents with young babies have been duly noted, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just had a kid. She's 4 months old and the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. That said it suck. Sucks big time. Being pregnant is horrible. Labor is beyond the worst thing ever. Lack of sleep, no freedom, no time. Taking a shower is an achievement. Going to the bathroom is a luxury. I didn't originally want kids and I should have stuck with that. But that said its an amazing often wonderful experience.

I could have written this post, except that my DS is 6 months. He is amazing, and I love him- but I now know why I said I did not want kids. I can and will be an awesome mom for this little guy, but I can imagine my life without being a Mom. For me, it is not all encompassing.

Not to downplay these PP's feelings, but they are both probably in the throes of PPD or just the normal adjustment period. Give it a year and check back in with us! Once you start getting good rest and into the groove, it is very different. Asking someone with a newborn or small infant whether parenting sucks is like asking someone who is in mile 20 of a marathon about how they feel about their next marathon.

[Anonymous]

Would like to hear from parents of messed up druggies/prison inmates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I clicked on this thread, I was expecting to see post after post about how fabulous kids were and I was really surprised to see all of the people commenting how hard kids were and that it isn't worth it, etc. I am not suggesting that children are for everyone, and that everyone should have kids. But what I can tell you is that not only do I love but children, but I truly enjoy pretty much every moment I spend with them. My DH and I work full-time, so the logistics can be tough (and expensive), but there is no greater joy to me than seeing my kids at the end of the day. No matter how terrible my day at work might have been, and trust me, there have been many bad days, seeing my kids puts a smile on my face. I love watching them grow, I love their relationship with one another, and I love being a parent. I have never found parenting hard. Sure there are times when I'm really, truly tired, ok exhausted beyond belief, and days when I feel like my kids are sucking all our life savings (don't get me started on how much ballet costs), but I cannot imagine our lives without them. We still travel, we still go out to dinner, but just not as much. In fact, I want to be home on Friday nights with my kids and I don't miss going out that much. Yes, there are some trips that we haven't been able to take (yet), and I'd love to trade our SUV for a convertible, but I have never ever looked back. For me, being a parent is joyous, and it isn't that hard. So, no, having kids does not suck.

Look at the ages (for those who are posting them). Those who are saying how wonderful it is have older kids or at least one older kids. Those who are saying it sucks have a 6 month old and younger.

If you asked me when my child was 6 months old, I would have said it sucks and was terrible. Now that she's 3, I think it's totally amazing and even the sucky hard times are amazing. My kid is hysterical.

I have an infant, and would describe parenthood as wonderful. Your opinions regarding the experiences of parents with young babies have been duly noted, PP.

Sigh. Just saying those who view it as hard have light at the end of the tunnel. But yes, you are wonderful and perfect and my post was directly an attack on you and yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would like to hear from parents of messed up druggies/prison inmates.

I worked for 3 years with prison inmates and one of the programs allowed mothers to keep their infants with them for the first few months while they breast fed.

I assure you, mothers in prison feel the exact same love, fear, exhaustion that you all do in regards to their newborns.