What should we PS3 Liberal Activist Gentrifiers do, and not do?

[Anonymous]

OP, I haven't read this entire thread, so maybe this has already been mentioned, but do be mindful that you will be happiest at a school where you and your family don't have to carefully consider every word spoken or every gesture, offer of help made, etc. Our DCPS has a very healthy racial balance and trust me, if ANYONE offers to help, its an offer appreciated and put to use. No one is insulted because they can aways use it. You may be in a different situation, but don't feel badly if it turns out not to be a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I haven't read this entire thread, so maybe this has already been mentioned, but do be mindful that you will be happiest at a school where you and your family don't have to carefully consider every word spoken or every gesture, offer of help made, etc. Our DCPS has a very healthy racial balance and trust me, if ANYONE offers to help, its an offer appreciated and put to use. No one is insulted because they can aways use it. You may be in a different situation, but don't feel badly if it turns out not to be a good fit.

Us too, but it took several years to get to that point. And largely at the cost of out-of-boundary students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two things: just because people are black, doesn't mean they are poor. Plenty of black/AA people in my neighborhood are high SES

Also, what makes you think the people haven't tried to improve the school? White liberal gentrifiers always seem to think they have the brilliant idea of fixing the schools. Like the people living in DC have just been sitting on their asses until they swooped in.

Go back to Kansas.

PP, have you ever actually been to Kansas? No white liberal gentrifiers there. There used to be, but DH and I live here now.

[Anonymous]

If the existing parents at a school greet incoming parents offering to help out with resistance and suspicion, guess what's going to end up happening? They are going to stop offering to help. That's a vicious cycle in the making.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't let the haters get you down. It is hard to be flip about a serious topic, but if more people didn't take themselves so seriously, DCUM might be more entertaining. Or less, actually, as it's usually the humorless folks who unintentionally provide humor.

Anyway, been there and still there, though after 4 years we're definitely well accepted. Here are some of my mistakes and thoughts:

1. Assuming it was about race. It's not, really, it's about SES. I didn't realize there would be higher income folks who were African American or Hispanic. My mistake. (the fact is, we do tend to hang out with people who we are more like. I was more like the higher income folks, whether they were black, white brown or purple, and now have plenty of friends who look different than me, but have very similar life experiences. I'm not yet really doing well making personal friends (ie, friends outside of school) with people who are really, really really different).
2. Realize kids don't notice AT ALL. That was kinda surprising to me. Kids truly are blind to all of it.
3. Listen more than talk at first.
4. Respect a huge thing in certain cultures. Treating other people with deference and respect goes a long way.
5. Stick with it - I've heard "white people" muttered derisively under their breath by folks I've annoyed. I've now heard some of those same people laugh "white people" out loud in a friendly, joking way (like, um, dance at the school dance. What can I say). Sometimes it takes time and familarity.
6. As many others have said, get to know the kids, and the rest will follow.
7. One of the things I really needed schooling on was understanding what everyone brought to the table. I had my email and my eletronics and my business sense and raising money. It took me a while to recognize the contribution others were making to the classroom and the school that were things I just wouldn't have thought of. Some of the hispanic parents spent far more time in that classroom than I ever could and were more into the day to day activities and volunteering immediate needs, while I thought it was all PTA and raising money. Neither is right or wrong, we need both.

You'll be fine. There might be some uncomfortable moments, but overall it'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two things: just because people are black, doesn't mean they are poor. Plenty of black/AA people in my neighborhood are high SES

Also, what makes you think the people haven't tried to improve the school? White liberal gentrifiers always seem to think they have the brilliant idea of fixing the schools. Like the people living in DC have just been sitting on their asses until they swooped in.

Go back to Kansas.

PP, have you ever actually been to Kansas? No white liberal gentrifiers there. There used to be, but DH and I live here now.

See now, you wouldn't be a gentrifier in Kansas. Do you see how that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, don't let the haters get you down. It is hard to be flip about a serious topic, but if more people didn't take themselves so seriously, DCUM might be more entertaining. Or less, actually, as it's usually the humorless folks who unintentionally provide humor.

Anyway, been there and still there, though after 4 years we're definitely well accepted. Here are some of my mistakes and thoughts:

1. Assuming it was about race. It's not, really, it's about SES. I didn't realize there would be higher income folks who were African American or Hispanic. My mistake. (the fact is, we do tend to hang out with people who we are more like. I was more like the higher income folks, whether they were black, white brown or purple, and now have plenty of friends who look different than me, but have very similar life experiences. I'm not yet really doing well making personal friends (ie, friends outside of school) with people who are really, really really different).
2. Realize kids don't notice AT ALL. That was kinda surprising to me. Kids truly are blind to all of it.
3. Listen more than talk at first.
4. Respect a huge thing in certain cultures. Treating other people with deference and respect goes a long way.
5. Stick with it - I've heard "white people" muttered derisively under their breath by folks I've annoyed. I've now heard some of those same people laugh "white people" out loud in a friendly, joking way (like, um, dance at the school dance. What can I say). Sometimes it takes time and familarity.
6. As many others have said, get to know the kids, and the rest will follow.
7. One of the things I really needed schooling on was understanding what everyone brought to the table. I had my email and my eletronics and my business sense and raising money. It took me a while to recognize the contribution others were making to the classroom and the school that were things I just wouldn't have thought of. Some of the hispanic parents spent far more time in that classroom than I ever could and were more into the day to day activities and volunteering immediate needs, while I thought it was all PTA and raising money. Neither is right or wrong, we need both.

You'll be fine. There might be some uncomfortable moments, but overall it'll be fine.

#1 and #2 make me really sad. How you can get so far in life and not know there would be higher SES of other races? Huh?