What should we PS3 Liberal Activist Gentrifiers do, and not do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Treat the other parents like people, don't assume and don't be condescending.

Don't only talk to the other white parents. Lots of people guilty of that at Stokes.

[Anonymous]

Op, remember that what people say on DCUM says much, much more about them than it does you.

Also, I was I your shoes 7 years ago. Biggest mistake was walking in and asking "what can I do to help?". Well intentioned, but it struck people as meaning they I thought the school needed my help. That wasn't what I meant, but retrospect, I really should have just sat and watched and listened.

[Anonymous]

OP, it all depends on the school community. At our school, we encourage any type of involvement and will also give you a trophy for it!

[Anonymous]

I am yet another person who was in your shoes once. Improving a school is an uphill battle, but it's not the children (low SES, high SES, whatever) that are problem -- fundamentally the problems are the result of how the school system is designed. My advice is that if you really want to help all the students learn as much as possible, focus your efforts on understanding the system and why it's malfunctioning, and then invest your time in promoting systemic change.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting how so many DCUM moms are experts on how to "improve" schools. First problem here is what people mean by improve. If you mean higher test scores, then the easiest way is to shift the demographics. If that's your goal, talk up your school in your neighborhood, reach out to prospective families, do everything you can to get higher SES families to come (and stay). Good luck.

If you mean raise the scores of the low income kids who are already there, then what the heck do most of us know about this?? How do you know your school is or isn't doing the right things? And honestly, do most of you even care, or are you really just interested in making sure your own kid gets enough attention and isn't the only white kid in his class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for starters, never use the phrase "liberal activist gentrifiers," even anonymously and tongue-in-cheek.

+1

+2. I immediately felt sorry for the other parents when I read this.

+3 yuck

Christ, people, really? I appreciate that OP is decent enough to be thinking about this. Not everyone does when faced with the same situation. (I'm recalling efforts at F-S in the not-too-distant past. I happened to be only slightly familiar with those efforts, but was in a meeting or two with a bunch of "liberal activist gentrifiers" who wouldn't have used the phrase ironically, or maybe even known it could be ironic. Their whole style was offensive, and even if I'd liked what was going on at F-S, I couldn't have stomached having to interact with those "concerned" parents who were somehow completely unconcerned with the families who got there before them. Frankly, I bet some of you are a lot like some of them. Anonymity does crazy things, no?

And yeah, I'm a white liberal activist gentrifier, and a good bit of that is true whether I want it to be or not. (But you're all sophisticated enough to know that race is a white issue too, right?) Like OP, I'm at least interested enough in other people to know that's likely how they see me, at least at first, regardless of my own ideas of who I want to be as a member of whatever community I'm engaged with at the time. Just exactly what's wrong with not wanting to alienate people? OP never said her assumption was that all people would immediately believe that about her. Still, you're an idiot if you don't know that some will. Or have you never made an assumption or been subject to stereotyping another?

Such a bunch of mean girls with such talent for turning good intentions into another sign the Apocalypse is near. I hope DCUM is all just some bizarre experiment and none of you are actually raising children.

How ironic

I'm what would have been called by some a "white liberal gentrifier" - although, I would never call myself that. My child was an only at her neighborhood school. We moved her 10 years ago. I'm sure white people did the same 20 years ago and will 20 years from now. You don't need to ask people how to act around people who are different from you - if you do, there is something more fundamentally wrong. This is what I got from her post:

Hi! I'm rich and white and I live with people poor and black. How do I act so I don't appear too smart and annoy them? Can someone assist me in proper manners which I didn't learn in my elite east coast school?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Treat the other parents like people, don't assume and don't be condescending.

Don't only talk to the other white parents. Lots of people guilty of that at Stokes.

Exactly. There will be resentment from OOB parents in the upper grades because they think the in-boundary parents in the lower grades are trying to take over. This causes friction, and you have to actively work to tear down those walls. Of course, it makes it doubly difficult because as an in-boundary parent in the lower grads, you *are* trying to take over.

[Anonymous]

Two things: just because people are black, doesn't mean they are poor. Plenty of black/AA people in my neighborhood are high SES

Also, what makes you think the people haven't tried to improve the school? White liberal gentrifiers always seem to think they have the brilliant idea of fixing the schools. Like the people living in DC have just been sitting on their asses until they swooped in.

Go back to Kansas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am yet another person who was in your shoes once. Improving a school is an uphill battle, but it's not the children (low SES, high SES, whatever) that are problem -- fundamentally the problems are the result of how the school system is designed. My advice is that if you really want to help all the students learn as much as possible, focus your efforts on understanding the system and why it's malfunctioning, and then invest your time in promoting systemic change.

One thing to remember about many reasonably decent neighborhood schools with a lot of out-of-boundary kids is that there are a lot of forces at work that do *not* want to see an increase in the number of in-boundary families. Because an increase in in-boundary families necessarily means a decrease in out-of-boundary families. And those are the traditional constituency at your kid's school. So they are the existing principal's constituency. For the school to make gains in neighborhood enrollment, opportunities for OOB kids who often have few other options need to go away. And that sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Treat the other parents like people, don't assume and don't be condescending.

Don't only talk to the other white parents. Lots of people guilty of that at Stokes.

Exactly. There will be resentment from OOB parents in the upper grades because they think the in-boundary parents in the lower grades are trying to take over. This causes friction, and you have to actively work to tear down those walls. Of course, it makes it doubly difficult because as an in-boundary parent in the lower grads, you *are* trying to take over.

And Creative Minds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two things: just because people are black, doesn't mean they are poor. Plenty of black/AA people in my neighborhood are high SES

Also, what makes you think the people haven't tried to improve the school? White liberal gentrifiers always seem to think they have the brilliant idea of fixing the schools. Like the people living in DC have just been sitting on their asses until they swooped in.

Go back to Kansas.

Not sure anyone's saying that. If everyone is in-boundary, then things are a lot simpler. But that's often not the case in DCPS.

Usually the "white liberal gentrifiers" have the brilliant idea of actually sending their kid to their neighborhood school. This is seen as very threatening to the existing parents, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I really should have just sat and watched and listened.

+1,000.

[Anonymous]

Often the notion of "improving the neighborhood school" comes from what parents coming from areas outside of DC have as their own experiences from their own schools growing up, and can recognize what is working and what is broken, as opposed to some who have always been here and have never seen something working correctly in the first place, and who therefore think broken is normal and how it's supposed to be. Many of us from outside have differing experiences, and differing perspectives on the pros and cons.

Prior to moving to DC, I lived in several different places each having their own sets of issues in the schools, the last town we came from had rampant corruption, cronyism and nepotism, and teachers literally did not get jobs in the public school system unless there was an envelope of cash changing hands, but amazingly everyone knew it, accepted it and they considered that to be normal. It's all in what your experiences and perspectives are...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Often the notion of "improving the neighborhood school" comes from what parents coming from areas outside of DC have as their own experiences from their own schools growing up, and can recognize what is working and what is broken, as opposed to some who have always been here and have never seen something working correctly in the first place, and who therefore think broken is normal and how it's supposed to be. Many of us from outside have differing experiences, and differing perspectives on the pros and cons.

Prior to moving to DC, I lived in several different places each having their own sets of issues in the schools, the last town we came from had rampant corruption, cronyism and nepotism, and teachers literally did not get jobs in the public school system unless there was an envelope of cash changing hands, but amazingly everyone knew it, accepted it and they considered that to be normal. It's all in what your experiences and perspectives are...

Exactly. Up until 5 or so years ago, it was completely normal for DCPS schools to not actually have any books at the start of the school year. That was completely unacceptable as the demographics of the school system started to change. Why? Because it became a huge political liability. Why? Because DCPS parents stopped tolerating it.

There were about a million other things, but different folks prioritize differently.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP again. I appreciate all the responses, including those who want to take me down a peg. I could always use a little more humility. Trying to be flip and breezy about a sensitive topic isn't a great way to go, is it? A lesson I'm sure I needed (among others).

I'll try to watch, listen, and see if any opportunities to volunteer or offer supplies are made available, and be sure to socialize with all the parents.

Sorry again for all those I offended. Thank you, delightful DCUM and have good weekends.