tips for enduring the extended family beach house week?

[Anonymous]

My inlaws own a beach house.

We do the above...everybody is responsible for a dinner, but provide our own breakfast/lunch/snacks.

The problem is that MIL likes to park herself near the kitchen all day and make you feel like a heel for getting a snack. As soon as you set foot in there she says "what do you need." (like a statement). And reminds us how close it is to dinner time.

She is always watching and monitoring what we take out of the fridge or pantry saying something like "that's Mary's cheese!" "Did you ask Liz if you could have that?"

[Anonymous]

See if any of my ILs owned a beach house, I would feel totally different. MIL insists on doing the beach week, and its just too much aggravation, but no one wants to tell her that. If we had a ton of vacation time, I would feel differently, but we don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My inlaws own a beach house.

We do the above...everybody is responsible for a dinner, but provide our own breakfast/lunch/snacks.

The problem is that MIL likes to park herself near the kitchen all day and make you feel like a heel for getting a snack. As soon as you set foot in there she says "what do you need." (like a statement). And reminds us how close it is to dinner time.

She is always watching and monitoring what we take out of the fridge or pantry saying something like "that's Mary's cheese!" "Did you ask Liz if you could have that?"

OMG

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My inlaws own a beach house.

We do the above...everybody is responsible for a dinner, but provide our own breakfast/lunch/snacks.

The problem is that MIL likes to park herself near the kitchen all day and make you feel like a heel for getting a snack. As soon as you set foot in there she says "what do you need." (like a statement). And reminds us how close it is to dinner time.

She is always watching and monitoring what we take out of the fridge or pantry saying something like "that's Mary's cheese!" "Did you ask Liz if you could have that?"

OMG

That is like the person who is dieting at the beach. Every bite you get a comment. Hello! It is a vacation! You are NOT going to lose those pounds in a week, so do not make me part of it!

[Anonymous]

Meh. Let me rent the beach house so I don't have to hear your shit or put up with your passive aggressive BS that everyone has put up with for TOO many years!

[Anonymous]

I will second everyone who says not to plan every second to be together. We all do our own things during the day and meet for a big family dinner in the evening at home. Other than that, do what makes you happy.

Everyone in my family gets along and is generally helpful, but we use a chore charts to try to keep things even. When we all arrive, everyone signs up for something every day on the chart. It includes: clean up after breakfast, clean up after lunch, clean up after dinner, cook dinner, put up umbrellas on the beach, take trash out, shopping. Someone goes to the store everyday and we have a running list of "needs" since with 13 people someone always needs something. People fend for themselves for breakfast/lunch and the parents of young kids are responsible for shopping for and feeding them. It's not 100% perfect and my mother probably still does more than her fair share, but it works for us! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My inlaws own a beach house.

We do the above...everybody is responsible for a dinner, but provide our own breakfast/lunch/snacks.

The problem is that MIL likes to park herself near the kitchen all day and make you feel like a heel for getting a snack. As soon as you set foot in there she says "what do you need." (like a statement). And reminds us how close it is to dinner time.

She is always watching and monitoring what we take out of the fridge or pantry saying something like "that's Mary's cheese!" "Did you ask Liz if you could have that?"

I would hide my snacks in the my room and smuggle them out the door in my beach bag with several beers and a koozie.

[Anonymous]

OP: No loaded guns is the rule.

[Anonymous]

op here. Thanks for the tips.
We are back and it did not go that well. . I don't think any of the adults had fun. The kids did, though, so that is good.
But some of your tips really helped - we tried to do our own thing some days and that part was good.
One family really expected the grandparents to help with their kids - alot. And the grandparents kind of expected a vacation. So that created stress for all. My kids are older so I ended up trying to relieve the grandparents, which was not a vacation for me either.
Lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Aw. Sorry it wasn't fun OP. I just got back from a family beach week with my family (My sisters, their husbands and kids, my parents, my father's 2 siblings, 2 cousins, my grandmother), and it was a blast. Meshing, chill personalities are pretty crucial though.

What we did: generally speaking, everyone is responsible for their own kids, but the brothers-in-law were given lots of time-off together to get away from all the togetherness. the sisters were mainly hanging out in the house or on the beach and occasionally taking over each others kids so that other couples could go out.

dinners were divvied up ahead of time. With so many people, each couple was responsible for one night.

everything was great until the AC died on the last night. d'oh.

[Anonymous]

The only time something like this worked for my family was when we were all old enough to drink, and did so. I couldn't imagine it with kids.

Glad you survived OP. Share a room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My inlaws own a beach house.

We do the above...everybody is responsible for a dinner, but provide our own breakfast/lunch/snacks.

The problem is that MIL likes to park herself near the kitchen all day and make you feel like a heel for getting a snack. As soon as you set foot in there she says "what do you need." (like a statement). And reminds us how close it is to dinner time.

She is always watching and monitoring what we take out of the fridge or pantry saying something like "that's Mary's cheese!" "Did you ask Liz if you could have that?"

Huh? Everyone know that in houseshares you make it clear what is group food (and everyone pitches in) versus person-specific food (bought by and for them). If that is clear no need to monitor. Or take other people's food!

[Anonymous]

11:15 - you have a nice family. MIL did NOT do such a good job with hers, unfortunately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alcohol

But only if you are a happy, friendly drunk. Not if you're an argumentative drunk.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My inlaws own a beach house.

We do the above...everybody is responsible for a dinner, but provide our own breakfast/lunch/snacks.

The problem is that MIL likes to park herself near the kitchen all day and make you feel like a heel for getting a snack. As soon as you set foot in there she says "what do you need." (like a statement). And reminds us how close it is to dinner time.

She is always watching and monitoring what we take out of the fridge or pantry saying something like "that's Mary's cheese!" "Did you ask Liz if you could have that?"

Huh? Everyone know that in houseshares you make it clear what is group food (and everyone pitches in) versus person-specific food (bought by and for them). If that is clear no need to monitor. Or take other people's food!

PP here. If I am taking Mary's cheese, it's because Mary said "hey, we brought a ton of cheese, please take some, there's enough for everybody!" Or (this is the more likely scenario), MIL is wrong about who's cheese belongs to who, so she doesn't even know what she's talking about. She's like the grumpy clueless uptight kitchen patrol.