Who thinks it is ridiculous when someone says his/her child is bored in school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children in Kindergarten often use the word boring when talking about something they do not want to do. If I say let's run errands when children are playing the response will often be , BORING. If they want to go to the park and there are chores to be done , BORING. It goes right along with the hair flip which I am sure will soon be eye rolling. I hear it at school when a child is working on a difficult assignment. It is often their way of saying this is not what I want to be doing right now. I agree with a PP give them some shores and they will stop complaining.

I would also say this is a learned phrase from a parent. I have two kids who may not want to do something but I have never heard them refer to something as boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Children in Kindergarten often use the word boring when talking about something they do not want to do. If I say let's run errands when children are playing the response will often be , BORING. If they want to go to the park and there are chores to be done , BORING. It goes right along with the hair flip which I am sure will soon be eye rolling. I hear it at school when a child is working on a difficult assignment. It is often their way of saying this is not what I want to be doing right now. I agree with a PP give them some shores and they will stop complaining.

I would also say this is a learned phrase from a parent. I have two kids who may not want to do something but I have never heard them refer to something as boring.

Good point! My son does not know to say this either. Still does not mean he cannot be bored in school.

[Anonymous]

I worry about the posts that say that school should be wall-to-wall fun. We're basically creating a generation of kids who need to have their entertainment supplied by video games, hovering parents and now, some of you apparently think, the schools. This is not going to create functional adults -- even in the 1%.

A little boredom in school is fine. In fact, it can spur kids -- both normal kids and the geniuses -- to invent mental and other ways to cope. Obviously nobody supports constant worksheets, or classrooms where there is no tolerance for non-disruptive things like doodling. But those are the extremes. I tend to doubt when I hear a parent going on about how some school is being cruel to some brilliant kid. For example, I heard of one extreme case in my kid's magnet where a mom was outraged that her too-cool-for-school kid wasn't allowed to read novels in science class. Really, there are limits to how much teachers can allow while maintaining control of the class. Nobody is such a special snowflake they should be allowed to set an example for everyone else to ignore the teacher too, or allowed to cause disruption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worry about the posts that say that school should be wall-to-wall fun. We're basically creating a generation of kids who need to have their entertainment supplied by video games, hovering parents and now, some of you apparently think, the schools. This is not going to create functional adults -- even in the 1%.

A little boredom in school is fine. In fact, it can spur kids -- both normal kids and the geniuses -- to invent mental and other ways to cope. Obviously nobody supports constant worksheets, or classrooms where there is no tolerance for non-disruptive things like doodling. But those are the extremes. I tend to doubt when I hear a parent going on about how some school is being cruel to some brilliant kid. For example, I heard of one extreme case in my kid's magnet where a mom was outraged that her too-cool-for-school kid wasn't allowed to read novels in science class. Really, there are limits to how much teachers can allow while maintaining control of the class. Nobody is such a special snowflake they should be allowed to set an example for everyone else to ignore the teacher too, or allowed to cause disruption.

I think the opposite of boring in the school context is not fun. I have a huge problem with the idea that schools have to be "fun." I think most posters here using boring as synonymous to not challenging. I don't find your extreme example all that extreme either. Reading quietly is not that disruptive. On the other hand, you wonder about how a science class could be so boring. I can see reading or math when they cover really familiar materials. Science, the teachers can be a bit more creative, you would think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I worry about the posts that say that school should be wall-to-wall fun. We're basically creating a generation of kids who need to have their entertainment supplied by video games, hovering parents and now, some of you apparently think, the schools. This is not going to create functional adults -- even in the 1%.

A little boredom in school is fine. In fact, it can spur kids -- both normal kids and the geniuses -- to invent mental and other ways to cope. Obviously nobody supports constant worksheets, or classrooms where there is no tolerance for non-disruptive things like doodling. But those are the extremes. I tend to doubt when I hear a parent going on about how some school is being cruel to some brilliant kid. For example, I heard of one extreme case in my kid's magnet where a mom was outraged that her too-cool-for-school kid wasn't allowed to read novels in science class. Really, there are limits to how much teachers can allow while maintaining control of the class. Nobody is such a special snowflake they should be allowed to set an example for everyone else to ignore the teacher too, or allowed to cause disruption.

I think the opposite of boring in the school context is not fun. I have a huge problem with the idea that schools have to be "fun." I think most posters here using boring as synonymous to not challenging. I don't find your extreme example all that extreme either. Reading quietly is not that disruptive. On the other hand, you wonder about how a science class could be so boring. I can see reading or math when they cover really familiar materials. Science, the teachers can be a bit more creative, you would think.

My kid actually took the science class in question and it wasn't boring. It's in a magnet program and school districts tend to put great, creative teachers in these programs. Given that DC spent many nights on college websites doing the required readings, it probably also wasn't material most kids were already familiar with.

I posted earlier to say that most bright kids can (and have a need to) figure out how to banish boredom, but that some kids may lack the motivation or persistence to figure out ways. I don't know whether persistence and motivation are more innate or more learned. I guess I do feel strongly that, wherever motivation and persistence come from, these -- and creativity -- aren't going to be nurtured if mom swoops in at the first sign that Snowflake isn't 100% engaged by what's placed right under his nose in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:?

Maybe their child is bored because they don't understand what's going on in class. That can lead to boredom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know what you're saying PP about bright kids. I'm the one with the drawing child. BUT... I think bright kids will on their own use materials and their time in creative ways IF they're allowed to do so. In a lot of classrooms these days you have to just stay at your seat with only your assigned worksheets.

Yes, I agree with this. My 8 year old son sounds like your daughter. He often picks up things very quickly. But his teacher does not let him draw (or read which would probably be his preference). Instead she just keeps throwing more and more worksheets at them. So, yes my son says he is bored and school is sometimes boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I think it's ridiculous because usually they are implying that their child is gifted or advanced. But, as more than one teacher has said to me, truly gifted children are never bored in school because they're always finding something to investigate. So, the "my kid is smart b/c s/he is bored" bromide doesn't actually signal gifted aptitude at all.

I agree with this 90%. I do think the ability to entertain yourself depends somewhat on motivation and persistence. While most truly bright kids *need* to find intellectual stimulation, some bright kids may be lacking the drive to find stimulation that's acceptable within the classroom (not disruptive etc...). My kids are in magnets and I've seen all kinds of excuse-making for bad behavior, some really egregious cases of moms defending brats. I've also met some truly bright kids who behave wonderfully -- these are the kids who quietly doing origami, as one small example.

It's not a matter of motivation and persistance but learning to cope with boredom and emotional regulation. Some kids can do it and others have problems. And it has nothing to do with being gifted or not. But yes, many parents use "boredom" as an excuse for their kids being disruptive and acting out in class. By high school, the top students are always the ones who know how to deal with boredom and are not troublemakers. If they don't learn how to "deal" by then, the kid will not live up to their academic potential even if they have a genius IQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:?

I think it's ridiculous because usually they are implying that their child is gifted or advanced. But, as more than one teacher has said to me, truly gifted children are never bored in school because they're always finding something to investigate. So, the "my kid is smart b/c s/he is bored" bromide doesn't actually signal gifted aptitude at all.

Good lord. What if the kid is not ALLOWED to investigate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's not a matter of motivation and persistance but learning to cope with boredom and emotional regulation. Some kids can do it and others have problems. And it has nothing to do with being gifted or not. But yes, many parents use "boredom" as an excuse for their kids being disruptive and acting out in class. By high school, the top students are always the ones who know how to deal with boredom and are not troublemakers. If they don't learn how to "deal" by then, the kid will not live up to their academic potential even if they have a genius IQ.

How do they learn to deal? Or how do we (parents and teachers) help them learn to deal? I'm always at a loss...I'm not in the classroom all day, so I don't know what to suggest because I don't want to tell my kid to do something (e.g., read a book) or to "figure it out" in case he does something that is going to bother the teacher or be perceived as disruptive. But what are they supposed to do? I worry that this is why so many kids get turned off of school, even if they are bright.

[Anonymous]

My kids NEVER talk about school being boring. I think SOME parents offer that language to their children and do their children a disservice.

However, at home, my oldest constantly wants me to set up play dates for him. And complains there is nothing to do. This drives me a little nutso. He gets a lot of social time, but I can't always drop what I'm doing to set him up with a playdate.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid with an IQ of somewhere between 145-155. In a classroom where doodling is not allowed and the only allowable reading materials are the grade level stuff the teacher provides. My kid literally cannot continue to sit still and pay attention to material that he had already mastered early in the school year. He has access to new material only on science days. The rest if the time, yeah, he is BORED. His teacher won't allow him to quietly entertain himself, on the theory that if he gets to draw, his seat mates will want to as well. We've tried to move him to a second grade classroom for reading and math (he is a 6 yr old first grader) and were told it would be too disruptive. How do you expect him to stay engaged in those circumstances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's not a matter of motivation and persistance but learning to cope with boredom and emotional regulation. Some kids can do it and others have problems. And it has nothing to do with being gifted or not. But yes, many parents use "boredom" as an excuse for their kids being disruptive and acting out in class. By high school, the top students are always the ones who know how to deal with boredom and are not troublemakers. If they don't learn how to "deal" by then, the kid will not live up to their academic potential even if they have a genius IQ.

How do they learn to deal? Or how do we (parents and teachers) help them learn to deal? I'm always at a loss...I'm not in the classroom all day, so I don't know what to suggest because I don't want to tell my kid to do something (e.g., read a book) or to "figure it out" in case he does something that is going to bother the teacher or be perceived as disruptive. But what are they supposed to do? I worry that this is why so many kids get turned off of school, even if they are bright.

Work with the teacher. I and my own kids worked ahead of the class, with the teachers' enthusiastic help. I started to give examples, but I don't want to out my kids. You might be surprised about how many teachers really enjoy working outside their script. It's important to come at this as a partnership with the teacher, rather than suggesting that she is moving too slow and/or your kid is better than the other kids, all of which she might find threatening. Get the teacher's permission for your kid to do do something extra in class, or to do origami. Try to be sensitive to things that might be disruptive, or which might send signals to other kids that it's OK to ignore the teacher (like reading a book in class). School is almost over and you will have a new teacher next year. So give it a few weeks to see how things go, and if you think you need to step in, approach the teacher as a partner in this.

[Anonymous]

I was bored in school a lot growing up, and was not badly behaved. I am not a genius but read, etc. early. I remember in kindergarten there was a "See Jane and Dick Run"-type book series we were supposed to go through at our own pace, and I was bored bored bored with it the entire year. In 3rd grade I went to a magnet school that did grade level placement testing, and was placed in 5th grade reading. Then I switched back to my first school and in 5th grade, I did the exact. same. reading. book. again. Super boring. In neither situation was I allowed to do anything different. And really, I don't know how a public school teacher with 25-30+ kids in their class could allow certain kids to do their own thing in the classroom without it being disruptive.

I can certainly see why it could be obnoxious if a parent bragged about their kid being bored in school, depending on context. I have a SN child with lots of delays so believe me, I am sensitive to the hurtful/bragging/obnoxious potential of even innocuous statements like "my 10 month old is walking!" "my 2 year old has 50 words!"

But that doesn't mean some kids aren't, in fact, bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was bored in school a lot growing up, and was not badly behaved. I am not a genius but read, etc. early. I remember in kindergarten there was a "See Jane and Dick Run"-type book series we were supposed to go through at our own pace, and I was bored bored bored with it the entire year. In 3rd grade I went to a magnet school that did grade level placement testing, and was placed in 5th grade reading. Then I switched back to my first school and in 5th grade, I did the exact. same. reading. book. again. Super boring. In neither situation was I allowed to do anything different. And really, I don't know how a public school teacher with 25-30+ kids in their class could allow certain kids to do their own thing in the classroom without it being disruptive.

I can certainly see why it could be obnoxious if a parent bragged about their kid being bored in school, depending on context. I have a SN child with lots of delays so believe me, I am sensitive to the hurtful/bragging/obnoxious potential of even innocuous statements like "my 10 month old is walking!" "my 2 year old has 50 words!"

But that doesn't mean some kids aren't, in fact, bored.

A school's primary job is to teach not entertain. Of course it would be nice to have a teacher who made learning fun but invariably, no one is going to be that lucky to have the best teacher for every grade. Learning to cope with boredom in an acceptable non disruptive manner is part of going to school.

Also, when a parent talks about how "bored" their 4, 5, 6... Year old is, it almost always means that the kid cannot behave with an inference that the kid is really smart.

I have a SN kid, 5, with a 155 FSIQ in K. He has never complained about being bored but then he does not have behavior issues.