Is it True? Don't Buy Nice Furniture Until the Kid's are in High School???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have under 5yos and just renovated the whole house and furnished it nicely. Toys stay in the basement or toychest if they're not out getting used. And only eating in the kitchen.

Has worked just fine.

I asked my mom the other week if my siblings or I ever "wrecked" furniture. The answer was "no". Boundaries, manners and discipline works just fine. So does teaching kids that furniture isn't a toy.

I agree 100%. My siblings and I never ruined any furniture. My kids haven't either. It is an absolute non issue. I think you folks who have ratty furniture likely have no rules for your children. It's a very bad sign of future issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends.

If you have a large house, you can certainly start accumulating "nice" things in a formal living room, or master bedroom or guest room, or other places where they kids don't go often or you can successfully enforce limits in.

I (I'm a designer) specify lots of Room & Board/C&B/easy-care type stuff for clients in their well-used living spaces, but I calculate the fabric selections pretty carefully based on their lifestyle/number of pets/other places they can play (do the have a basement?)/etc... I've had no issues with "nicer" sofas if they're upholstered with the right materials. In fact, a sturdier frame is an asset.

I would basically never tell someone to get an expensive rug, delicate lamps/end tables, or silks in rooms where children frequent. But microfibers/most leathers, and "nice" distressed woods tend to fare just fine. The key is to choose items that can take abuse, and for hard surfaces you want them to be able to develop a "scratch patina" without ruining the look.

OP here. Thanks everyone for their thoughts. To the designer above, can you talk more about fabric choices and wood finishes? In particular, I'm interested in super durable wood finishes -- you know how restaurants have wood tables where scraping dishes and wet glasses don't seem to make a mark? In contrast, my C&B table is scratched to heck...and it's just my coffee table! Are there certain finishes that are more durable? What are they called--lacquer, epoxy, poly or what? Am looking for words I can use when interrogating furniture sales people.

and please tell me there are kid-friendly fabric choices beyond microsuede!

[Anonymous]

Ughh, I hate microsuede. I just hate the way it looks and feels. We got a chenille (I think that's what it's called) sofa and it's very durable, stain-resistant, and looks much nicer than microsuede imo.

Someone also suggested to us once that you can use Scotchguard made for auto upholstery on furniture. Does anyone know if this is true?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It's o.k. to teach your kids that some things are off limits and that the house is not their personal playground.

Amen. Different rooms for different purposes. You don't pee in your bed, you don't eat in the living room, you don't wander naked through the kitchen.

You're missing the point, many kids pee in the bed, snack in the living room, and run laps naked around the house. As crazy as they are at home, they are awesome at their school and with others. There is not necessarily a correlation between how kids are at home and how they do at school.

Er, no. YOU'RE missing the point. The point is, teach your children respect for their surroundings. Teach them that there's a time and a place for nearly every kind of behavior. Model it and reinforce it. And then you won't have to worry about your kids taking a sharpie to your couch.

[Anonymous]

We started buying nice furniture (Ethan Allen) for our living and family rooms when our boys were in elementary school. However, we have a no-food-outside-of-the-kitchen rule, so we didn't have to worry about spills, and if they were using markers, playdough, or anything messy like that, they had to do it in another room. The room where they have their video game systems has less expensive furniture (Pottery Barn tables and Ikea sofas), so that we won't totally freak out if they or their friends mess it up.

[Anonymous]

I have three young kids. The only thing they have ruined is a couch that never came clean after my daughter vomited right in the middle of the couch.

[Anonymous]

It's tiresome when people assume that their parenting is the only reason their children are well-behaved. Mother of five, my parents also had five well-behaved kids, but number six, who was parented in the same way, was a hellion, a boundary pusher of the first degree. It may be part of why she's a successful artist now, but it was hell on the furniture.

My child is spirited, but has sweet manners and a gentle way about her, so she's welcome everywhere, even by the painfully uptight. I'm a decent parent, but see far better, more disciplined and consistent parenting every day from friends raising children with behavioral and other issues. I'm in awe of them, and their kids still have trouble meeting expectations. Keep your ignorant, thoughtless comments to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Once the children were in college I invested in quality furniture. Until then it was a waste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once the children were in college I invested in quality furniture. Until then it was a waste.

Well done, your grandkids will soon be jumping on them.

[Anonymous]

We bought decent furniture when our kids were little, but with a plan to replace it 12-15 years later. So most of our stuff was Pier One, Pottery Bran, etc. It has served us well, but most of it is slowly being phased out as most of it HAS taken a beating over the years. So, while our furniture was nice enough, none of it would be considered future antiques. We are slowly replacing with nicer, classic pieces. this strategy worked well for us. I always felt that we had nice, stylish furniture, but I wasn't uptight about nicks and scratches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once the children were in college I invested in quality furniture. Until then it was a waste.

Well done, your grandkids will soon be jumping on them.

That sounds great! I'm looking forward to it.

I am so glad that my spouse and I have high-energy kids who literally bounce off the walls and that their friends love coming to our dump of a house. It would make my dainty neighbor nuts but it works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once the children were in college I invested in quality furniture. Until then it was a waste.

Well done, your grandkids will soon be jumping on them.

Hahahhahahahahahhahahahah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once the children were in college I invested in quality furniture. Until then it was a waste.

Well done, your grandkids will soon be jumping on them.

That sounds great! I'm looking forward to it.

I am so glad that my spouse and I have high-energy kids who literally bounce off the walls and that their friends love coming to our dump of a house. It would make my dainty neighbor nuts but it works for us.

Now that's the spirit.
I loved that kind of friend's house growing up.

[Anonymous]

If you're thinking of a second child, I would maybe hold out on something like a really nice couch. Regardless of your second child's behavior when he/she is older, we had a lot of random infant projectile vomiting while holding the baby on our couch - something that our older child never did, we never expected, and which sort of bleached the (dark blue, thought it wouldn't stain) couch.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the kid. My son never wrote on a wall or ruined furniture but he's just very neat in general. Never even drooled as a baby! (Not a perfect kid and throws his clothes ont he floor but was just born neat in terms of not spilling or getting things dirty).

leather couches are key though. Upholstery would be destroyed by any kid because they are on and off so much (esp boys). We furnish our house the way we want it -including all white carpets and never had a problem. Our 6 yr old reminds people to remove their shoes for us which is so much cuter than when i say it.