Is it True? Don't Buy Nice Furniture Until the Kid's are in High School???

[Anonymous]

We have under 5yos and just renovated the whole house and furnished it nicely. Toys stay in the basement or toychest if they're not out getting used. And only eating in the kitchen.

Has worked just fine.

I asked my mom the other week if my siblings or I ever "wrecked" furniture. The answer was "no". Boundaries, manners and discipline works just fine. So does teaching kids that furniture isn't a toy.

[Anonymous]

What type of kid is your child? My oldest boy (6) is a calmer kid who loves to follows rules. He never wrote on walls, ate on the couch, stood on the table, etc. My youngest son (4) writes on walls, spills on the sofa, jumps on furniture, tapped the fork into dining room table to see how many little holes he could make, took a toy saw and made gashes in a chair (the serrated toy saw really made marks).

[Anonymous]

I have gorgeous furniture and a 2yo. No problems here. If something spills, it is likely clear and we clean it up. My couches were OLD but cost $14k to be recovered in a nice fabric. We mostly dine in the kitchen and have white Herman Miller chairs that we sit on. We use Sferra table cloths and throw them in the wash. Really, nice stuff lasts longer and if you know how to clean well there is never a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I asked my mom the other week if my siblings or I ever "wrecked" furniture. The answer was "no". Boundaries, manners and discipline works just fine. So does teaching kids that furniture isn't a toy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Glad your perfect little Stepford children can do this.

Seriously - set boundaries? Discipline? Gee, why didn't I think of that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have gorgeous furniture and a 2yo. No problems here. If something spills, it is likely clear and we clean it up. My couches were OLD but cost $14k to be recovered in a nice fabric. We mostly dine in the kitchen and have white Herman Miller chairs that we sit on. We use Sferra table cloths and throw them in the wash. Really, nice stuff lasts longer and if you know how to clean well there is never a problem.

Ahhh, the delusions of the parent of a singleton 2yo who has yet to have "a problem". So, you've covered your couch in 14k worth of fabric? There isn't going to be enough ativan or xanax in your IV drip to stop your towering rage when your little angel drags permanent black sharpie marker all over your new Mitchell Gold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What type of kid is your child? My oldest boy (6) is a calmer kid who loves to follows rules. He never wrote on walls, ate on the couch, stood on the table, etc. My youngest son (4) writes on walls, spills on the sofa, jumps on furniture, tapped the fork into dining room table to see how many little holes he could make, took a toy saw and made gashes in a chair (the serrated toy saw really made marks).

To me, you don't leave pens and markers out unsupervised. No drinking on the sofa and consequences for furniture jumping (yes, we have a couch jumper and he gets taken off and to his room each time). No way would he take the fork into the dining room table that many times or at the first mark it would have been taken away. Likewise, with the saw - why give them that kind of access if they abuse things/it. All kids will test limits but to me that behavior is not acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have gorgeous furniture and a 2yo. No problems here. If something spills, it is likely clear and we clean it up. My couches were OLD but cost $14k to be recovered in a nice fabric. We mostly dine in the kitchen and have white Herman Miller chairs that we sit on. We use Sferra table cloths and throw them in the wash. Really, nice stuff lasts longer and if you know how to clean well there is never a problem.

Ahhh, the delusions of the parent of a singleton 2yo who has yet to have "a problem". So, you've covered your couch in 14k worth of fabric? There isn't going to be enough ativan or xanax in your IV drip to stop your towering rage when your little angel drags permanent black sharpie marker all over your new Mitchell Gold.

If sharpies are properly put away, then its a non-issue. They can't ruin what they don't have access to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of kid is your child? My oldest boy (6) is a calmer kid who loves to follows rules. He never wrote on walls, ate on the couch, stood on the table, etc. My youngest son (4) writes on walls, spills on the sofa, jumps on furniture, tapped the fork into dining room table to see how many little holes he could make, took a toy saw and made gashes in a chair (the serrated toy saw really made marks).

To me, you don't leave pens and markers out unsupervised. No drinking on the sofa and consequences for furniture jumping (yes, we have a couch jumper and he gets taken off and to his room each time). No way would he take the fork into the dining room table that many times or at the first mark it would have been taken away. Likewise, with the saw - why give them that kind of access if they abuse things/it. All kids will test limits but to me that behavior is not acceptable.

I was a smug parent like you with my first. My second made me eat humble pie. Same parenting method, different results. I get tons of compliments on how well behaved my first is. The second one I get compliments on how creative he is. Of course we don't hand him sharpies or leave them where he can reach them. He looks for objects until he finds them. He learned to drag a little chair around the house to reach objects when he was 15 months. For Christmas he got a Playmobile forest animal playset. He soon learned that the little raven will make marks on the wall if you slide his beak up and down the wall. He was pretending the raven was swooping down on the other animals when this happened. Intrigued he marked up the wall. Of course he gets consequences, but he will test, test, test them over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I was a smug parent like you with my first. My second made me eat humble pie. Same parenting method, different results. I get tons of compliments on how well behaved my first is. The second one I get compliments on how creative he is. Of course we don't hand him sharpies or leave them where he can reach them. He looks for objects until he finds them. He learned to drag a little chair around the house to reach objects when he was 15 months. For Christmas he got a Playmobile forest animal playset. He soon learned that the little raven will make marks on the wall if you slide his beak up and down the wall. He was pretending the raven was swooping down on the other animals when this happened. Intrigued he marked up the wall. Of course he gets consequences, but he will test, test, test them over and over again.

your second and my only would get along. She's in first grade and tests EVERYONE - my school meetings with her teacher always end in tears. Always. It has been an incredibly long and hard 7 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is almost 7 and still writes on her furniture and walls, no matter how many times we punish her for it.

Wtf?! My boys are 7 and 4.5 and have never written on our walls. We just purchased a whole new living/family room, DH and I had the other stuff for about 15 years. I was tired of living in a crap shack. I did select durable (yet highly fashionable) stuff, extra stain guard, not white, etc. it looks great and I'm not afraid of spills. I couldn't wait 14 more years---by then ill need new stuff anyways.

[Anonymous]

We moved to our current house when kids were 3 and 6. We started with nice furniture right away. The only concession was covering the sofa/chairs in dark colors. We have a limited number of antiques, most is just new high end furniture. My view is that its meant to be used, it's just stuff. No regrets, kids are teens now and the furniture is fine.

[Anonymous]

again, good for the folks with perfect children. I don't care how well I hide stuff to write with -my child still somehow finds a way to scribble on her furniture and her walls. We still have yet to figure out what she used to write on her carpet that is absolutely impervious to stain remover.

I need the non-sneaky non-destructive kid upgrade....

[Anonymous]

I don't understand this attitude of "you'll understand when you have #2". What is that about?! We have three boys (the oldest is a teen) and we never had any of our furniture jumped on, drawn on, or ripped up with forks/knives/scissors, and they aren't stepford children, they just aren't allowed to behave like animals. Buy the furniture you want to live with and teach your children to respect it. No markers on walls or furniture. It really isn't that hard. If they can't do that, you have bigger problems than disposable furniture IMHO.

[Anonymous]

I guess if you plan on more kids, it might make sense to wait. You might get an "artist" like PP's 7 year old who still draws on walls.

Our house is furnished now exactly the same as the way we did it up when we bought it 5 years before our first child. (Plus the little ikea table and a toy kitchen, of course!) And everything looks very nice. Yes, our kids are relatively obedient. But we've also been really consistent about a few (deliberately few) furniture-saving rules. We do not allow food outside of the dining room. Kids have never gotten a sticker or a pen without getting a reminder that it's "only for paper". There's been a little couch jumping, but good-quality furniture can take it.

What's funny is how kids seem to get rules. My in-laws are so lax with my kids... and the only place the kids misbehave in this regard is at their grandparents' house. One kid doodled all over the in-laws' fridge with a marker, long after she was old enough to know better. I was utterly shocked, because she had never EVER done anything even remotely like that at home. I didn't even know she was capable of that kind of idea.

[Anonymous]

Several kids across the spectrum of "well behaved". They have been good about the "nice room" - dining room, even when they can use it for a projects room. Other rooms they are tougher on - but honestly, much of it seems normal wear and tear. Dirty hands, (smudged walls furnitures), dirty clothes, etc - they don't notice as much being young. Now that the youngest is 4, we are comfortable going the better end furniture outside of dining room slowly over time. Just waiting until the puppy is fully trained.

To date, I have religiously hid any sharpie, buy the boring washable color markers/crayons for projects - so in rare stage that a 2-3 year old decides to "test", can be washed off. Happy away from that stage. Never a scissors incident with furniture - just - sigh - hair.