What to do to friend who invited 2 "others" to our wedding without our permission?

[Anonymous]

Brides are bitches.

[Anonymous]

Bridezilla much. Shouldn't you just be happy you married your DH and forget about this other nonsense????? GOOD LORD.

[Anonymous]

This is key west bride, the guests that brought 'friends' all had other single friends there. Lost people rented a house and all stayed together. We had a very small wedding for the reasons you are describing, I would never want someone to go to a huge expense traveling where they couldn't afford. But to bring a other who isn't a significant other is just rude when you aren't invited with one. Just don't go to the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Oops, lots of people not lost people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who are these people that would want to just tag along to some random person's wedding? Did they all have plans for the day and the invited friend said "hey, I know, we can all go to this wedding of my co-worker. " and the other two just thought that was a great idea?

This was my thought too. "Hey, you guys want to go out tonight?" "Sorry, we're going to a wedding. But actually, why not, wanna come even though you weren't invited?" "Sure, I'd love to crash a wedding with people I have never met and who aren't expecting me. Sounds like fun! Thanks, I was going to be bored tonight."

WTF??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's rude, but was your wedding ruined?

At our wedding, which was supposed to be "no kids", one of Dh's co-workers showed up with his 2 little girls.

I was a little surprised when I saw them, but honestly--they were very well behaved. I have no idea what happened with the seating, as the table the co-worker and his wife were assigned to was full...I'm sure the owner of my venue was just able to smooth it over so it didn't become my concern.

My mom told me later that the co-workers wife approached her, very embarrassed, apolgozing because she didn't realize that kids were not expected--of course my mom told her it was fine and complimented how well behaved the girls were, how pretty they looked in their nice dresses, etc.

Your invitation clearly stated "no children" and she didn't know '? Probably too ce
heap to hire a babysitter.

Most wedding invites don't say no children but it is indicated on the inside envelope. If it says mr and mrs smith then that's who is invited. If it says mr and mrs smith and on the next line master jack smith then you know your child is invited as well.

That is not obvious at all...I received plenty of child-invited weddings where only M___________________ was on the invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is key west bride, the guests that brought 'friends' all had other single friends there. Lost people rented a house and all stayed together. We had a very small wedding for the reasons you are describing, I would never want someone to go to a huge expense traveling where they couldn't afford. But to bring a other who isn't a significant other is just rude when you aren't invited with one. Just don't go to the wedding.

By the way, asking for gifts at a destination wedding is very poor form. If you wanted to save money you could have gone to the court and had a BBQ. Really, don't try to pander.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's rude, but was your wedding ruined?

At our wedding, which was supposed to be "no kids", one of Dh's co-workers showed up with his 2 little girls.

I was a little surprised when I saw them, but honestly--they were very well behaved. I have no idea what happened with the seating, as the table the co-worker and his wife were assigned to was full...I'm sure the owner of my venue was just able to smooth it over so it didn't become my concern.

My mom told me later that the co-workers wife approached her, very embarrassed, apolgozing because she didn't realize that kids were not expected--of course my mom told her it was fine and complimented how well behaved the girls were, how pretty they looked in their nice dresses, etc.

Your invitation clearly stated "no children" and she didn't know '? Probably too ce
heap to hire a babysitter.

Most wedding invites don't say no children but it is indicated on the inside envelope. If it says mr and mrs smith then that's who is invited. If it says mr and mrs smith and on the next line master jack smith then you know your child is invited as well.

That is not obvious at all...I received plenty of child-invited weddings where only M___________________ was on the invite.

Then the people who sent your child-invited wedding invitations need to get a copy of an etiquette book to learn the proper way to address invitations.

[Anonymous]

Years ago when my 19 year old brother needed a shotgun wedding, my mom apologised in person to my uncle because the 2 cousins were not invited. He had a small wedding, but sweet.
So my cousins arrive to attend the church service.
At the reception my aunt is the first to leave and comes to apologise for leaving early and oh they really must go because the boys are home alone.
Fortunately she left without hearing someone ask how old the boys were. They were 16 and 13.

[Anonymous]

Get over yourself! They dont care about you or your wedding. They just came for free food and drinks. There are much bigger problems to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Do grown adults actually not understand how a guest list works? I have to knock aside my friends, as the paying host, because you want to drag along your drunkard "business partner" or "fiancé" or whatever who may or may not show up at my formal affair that could not be further from your kind of GD hoedown? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do grown adults actually not understand how a guest list works? I have to knock aside my friends, as the paying host, because you want to drag along your drunkard "business partner" or "fiancé" or whatever who may or may not show up at my formal affair that could not be further from your kind of GD hoedown? Wow.

Have you not read the thread? There are cultural differences at play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had our wedding in key west with very close friends and family only, no 'extras'. We had three people ask us if they could bring a date and we said no due to the small wedding we wanted to have and locale, budget, etc. all three brought the others and no gifts, which is beyond tacky. At any rate, we were really irritated at the time but what do you do at your own wedding? You move on and get over it. It has been 7 years for us and I no longer care.

Actually I sympathize with your guests here. If you are going to have a destination wedding and expect people to travel then the least you can do is spring for a dinner for their significant other.

I was going to give a similar reply to this post. By the time they flew to Key West, rented cars and rooms you're lucky they showed up. I had friends who didn't give gifts and rented cars to drive 1.5 hours plus hotel rooms. Had us over for a nice dinner and paid a bar bill whatever. I assume the date bringers were not established aunts/uncle types. Traveling to Key West isn't cheap.

While I agree that it was tacky to show up with a date after being explicitly told not to, I've got to third that it's pretty unreasonable to invite people to a destination wedding and expect them to come alone. Maybe if it was three close girl friends or something, but I hope it wasn't people who didn't know anyone other than you! Destination wedding tend to be annoying for this kind of reason. Really very few people want to spend that much money and vacation time for a wedding. Particularly if they are then expected to come alone. If it was a small geoup, I can't imagine it would have been that much money or space to make a few of your guests more comfortable by allowing +1s.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, Key West bride - just read your response so I guess the three did know people. But still, I really think most people would much much prefer to bring an SO If they are essentially taking a vacation. Were three people really too much to add?