Got that, folks? You need to send thank-you notes after your kid's party!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do I keep an actual list of who sent a thank you note? No. Do I mentally note that I didn't receive one. Absolutely. It's common courtesy to thank someone for a gift and if the recipient can't be bothered to acknowledge the gift, then I won't be bothered to send them a gift in the future.

Charming. Hopefully nobody will be bothered to invite you to anything in the future, either. That will go along splendidly with your tit for tat viewpoint.

[Anonymous]

So ... how about this situation ... grandma sends grandkids (who live in another state) a birthday or holiday check. Check gets deposited but no one calls, emails or sends a thank you note. After a couple of years, grandma stops sending checks. Seems appropriate to me, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do I keep an actual list of who sent a thank you note? No. Do I mentally note that I didn't receive one. Absolutely. It's common courtesy to thank someone for a gift and if the recipient can't be bothered to acknowledge the gift, then I won't be bothered to send them a gift in the future.

Charming. Hopefully nobody will be bothered to invite you to anything in the future, either. That will go along splendidly with your tit for tat viewpoint.

Tit for tat viewpoint? How about I don't want to associate (or give gifts to) people who are rude and can't be bothered to take 3 minutes to write a thank you. I can't fathom why you're defending not writing thank you notes. It's a very basic, common courtesy and an easy one at that. That's unless you want to raise your kids to be entitled spoiled brats who don't acknowledge people's generosity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do I keep an actual list of who sent a thank you note? No. Do I mentally note that I didn't receive one. Absolutely. It's common courtesy to thank someone for a gift and if the recipient can't be bothered to acknowledge the gift, then I won't be bothered to send them a gift in the future.

Charming. Hopefully nobody will be bothered to invite you to anything in the future, either. That will go along splendidly with your tit for tat viewpoint.

There's nothing charming about not sending thank you notes when someone has given you a gift. Not charming, not polite, and not the kind of kid I want to raise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

And yes, thank you notes are common courtesy and good manners. Period. You want presents, be prepared to invest 30 minutes in a quick thank you note to your guests. Agree 100% that it's a good habit to start young. People appreciate thank you notes and they most definitely notice when they don't receive them.

I agree. I do definitely notice when I do not receive them. And when I do not receive a note for a gift that I've mailed, or placed in a gift bin at a bounce place party as a PP said, I always wonder if the kid ever even got the gift - or if it got lost or something. And I have to admit that my esteem of someone decreases a tiny, tiny bit if she turns out to be a person who doesn't send thank you notes.

I thikn the opposite. I notice and appreciate when I do get them. But I don't freak out and ban someone from my friendship if I don't get one. Y'all are overreacting. These are CHILDREN.

No one's talking about banning friendships over this. Simply saying take the time to write a thank you note. It's basic good manners and important for kids to learn. Whether it's via e-mail or snail mail - send a thank you.

[Anonymous]

Dear God people just send a thank you note for receiving a gift. To defend not sending a note is ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 year old parties this year where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one but would it have killed the mom or dad to acknowledge the gift we gave? I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via mail and have not received a note. Did they get it? Did it get lost? I have no idea. Just be polite and stop justifiying your rude behaviour because your too lazy to be grateful.

Dear God, people, just get over your obsession with receiving a thank you note. To defend your righteousness at not receiving a note is both ingracious and ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 yr old parties where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one, especially when my gift and presence were acknowledged when they they thanked me for coming to the party and planning such a nice time for me and my family. I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via email and have not received a note. This, of course, is very different than a three year old's party and certainly seems negligent to me. That said, because I am polite, I would make certain that the gift was received and give the newlywed the benefit of the doubt, as that is what truly gracious people do. Just be polite and stop justifying your rude and selfishness because you are too self centered to appreciate a verbal thank you from a three year old at her party and would rather keep score using your definition of what is polite rather than appreciate the honor of being around to celebrate life events with those you love.

Got that, folks?

[Anonymous]

^^you're so clever!

[Anonymous]

Look, of course it's good manners to send a written thank you note. It is important to attempt to instill good manners in children from a young age. I not only GET THAT, I agree with it. However, there are gray areas out there. I'm sure that there are some people that are to lazy to do so or encourage their children to do so or don't think it's important. I'm equally sure that there are some very busy parents out there trying to juggle a lot and compelling an unwilling five year old to sit down and hand write ten or fifteen thank you notes might not be at the top of their to-do list. The bottom line is, you give a gift to make someone happy because you care about them, not to get a thank-you note. So if you don't get one, don't make a big deal about it. Stuff might be going on that you don't even know about.

[Anonymous]

Dear God people just send a thank you note for receiving a gift. To defend not sending a note is ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 year old parties this year where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one but would it have killed the mom or dad to acknowledge the gift we gave? I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via mail and have not received a note. Did they get it? Did it get lost? I have no idea. Just be polite and stop justifiying your rude behaviour because your too lazy to be grateful.


Dear God, people, just get over your obsession with receiving a thank you note. To defend your righteousness at not receiving a note is both ingracious and ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 yr old parties where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one, especially when my gift and presence were acknowledged when they they thanked me for coming to the party and planning such a nice time for me and my family. I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via email and have not received a note. This, of course, is very different than a three year old's party and certainly seems negligent to me. That said, because I am polite, I would make certain that the gift was received and give the newlywed the benefit of the doubt, as that is what truly gracious people do. Just be polite and stop justifying your rude and selfishness because you are too self centered to appreciate a verbal thank you from a three year old at her party and would rather keep score using your definition of what is polite rather than appreciate the honor of being around to celebrate life events with those you love.

Got that, folks?

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Dear God, people, just get over your obsession with receiving a thank you note. To defend your righteousness at not receiving a note is both ingracious and ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 yr old parties where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one, especially when my gift and presence were acknowledged when they they thanked me for coming to the party and planning such a nice time for me and my family. I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via email and have not received a note. This, of course, is very different than a three year old's party and certainly seems negligent to me. That said, because I am polite, I would make certain that the gift was received and give the newlywed the benefit of the doubt, as that is what truly gracious people do. Just be polite and stop justifying your rude and selfishness because you are too self centered to appreciate a verbal thank you from a three year old at her party and would rather keep score using your definition of what is polite rather than appreciate the honor of being around to celebrate life events with those you love.

Got that, folks?

What I love about these "Anti-Thank You" posters is that they assume those of us who believe it's polite to send them are obsessed and self-absorbed. We're just sitting by the mailbox taking note and making grudges because we didn't get one. Really? I'm the PP you are replying too and no it is polite for the gift RECEIVER to send a thank you OR call. And as a truly gracious gift giver I have never confronted one single person about not sending a note. It's honestly never more than a passing thought...unless it's been and expensive gift. And then it's because I want to know that they received it because I bought it with the intent that I wanted for them to receive something I thought they would like. I want to make sure they got it....yes how selfish of me. AND if I HAD received a verbal thank you, yes that WOULD be enough. But I'm sorry, every time I've received a gift I've made an effort to either call or send a note. Because that is the polite and unselfish thing to do as the receiver. And to what's bolded above, Seriously? I haven't kept score from one damn party. And your definition of what is polite is incorrect. And to be so over the edge that you've assumed people don't appreciate the honor of being invited?? Get down off the ledge PP. You are very dramatic.

All of you anit-note posters who are going off the deep end with your dramatic characterizations of people who send notes....back away from the ledge. You are a bit overwrought.

[Anonymous]

The funny thing is that if you truly believe in proper etiquette you send a thank you note. Period. If you don't believe in sending a note or thanking someone fine. But it is rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Dear God people just send a thank you note for receiving a gift. To defend not sending a note is ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 year old parties this year where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one but would it have killed the mom or dad to acknowledge the gift we gave? I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via mail and have not received a note. Did they get it? Did it get lost? I have no idea. Just be polite and stop justifiying your rude behaviour because your too lazy to be grateful.

Dear God, people, just get over your obsession with receiving a thank you note. To defend your righteousness at not receiving a note is both ingracious and ridiculous. I've been to multiple 3 yr old parties where gifts were not opened at the party. I also did not receive a thank you note. No, I was not waiting for one, especially when my gift and presence were acknowledged when they they thanked me for coming to the party and planning such a nice time for me and my family. I've also sent some expensive wedding gifts via email and have not received a note. This, of course, is very different than a three year old's party and certainly seems negligent to me. That said, because I am polite, I would make certain that the gift was received and give the newlywed the benefit of the doubt, as that is what truly gracious people do. Just be polite and stop justifying your rude and selfishness because you are too self centered to appreciate a verbal thank you from a three year old at her party and would rather keep score using your definition of what is polite rather than appreciate the honor of being around to celebrate life events with those you love.

Got that, folks?

PP, I like your style and completely agree.

Also, I am disturbed at the remarks from the thank-you note crowd -- characterizing the PPs who don't like notes as crazy ("step away from the ledge," "Holy crap! You must have just broken out of the asylum!") -- that is over-the-top rude and it is cruel to the many people out there who are dealing with psychological issues. I have to draw the conclusion that those who send notes are not sending them because they are polite and considerate people, but rather that they think they can adopt the trappings of politeness (knee-jerk note sending) and not the mindset (treating everyone with kindness and dignity).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not gonna write them. Hate receiving them, they just make me feel guilty that I don't get a chance to write them. We have nice big parties that people enjoy. We provide plenty of food and drink for kids and adults alike. They bring presents. We say thanks so much and so do the kids. Done.

Finally someone is honest. To the other posters, stop your b.s. complaining about killing trees.

[Anonymous]

So do people in the "no thank-you note" group not send thank-you notes after a job interview? That is, at times, what secures the job for some. Don't you think by starting this at an early age is teaching good skills for the future?

[Anonymous]

Also, I am disturbed at the remarks from the thank-you note crowd -- characterizing the PPs who don't like notes as crazy ("step away from the ledge," "Holy crap! You must have just broken out of the asylum!") -- that is over-the-top rude and it is cruel to the many people out there who are dealing with psychological issues. I have to draw the conclusion that those who send notes are not sending them because they are polite and considerate people, but rather that they think they can adopt the trappings of politeness (knee-jerk note sending) and not the mindset (treating everyone with kindness and dignity).

Wow, what a bunch of bullsh*t, PP. So now people who send thank you notes are just adopting "trappings of politeness" and those who don't send thank you notes are the truly considerate and polite people?! Talk about rationalizing and denial. I sure hope you don't live the rest of your life in this pile of twisted logic where manners and consideration are, in your mind, sure signs that someone is faking it. Pathetic!